Is it normal for a 3-4 year old to drive you absolutely nuts?!

[Andjustlikethatihadnoclue]

I mean I love him beyond belief but bloody hell the meltdowns and whinging is out of this world at the moment. He will argue black is blue, he disagrees with absolutely everything I say. By the time it's 8 o'clock I'm sick of my own voice and fed up with the showdowns.

Someone tell me it's a phase. Someone tell me how to deal with it please?! I'm feeling totally drained at the moment!!!

Hang in there, it really is just à developmental stage xxx

I feel like I'm being a bad mum because of it though. My patience is at zero and he's driving me round the bend 🙈

Oh yes, this is a normal phase.

I remember I used to cheer myself up by talking in a Cbeebies sing-song voice just so I didn't sound so grumpy.

I also used to have special songs for tidying up, for meals and for washing hands, instead of giving an instruction.

From the terrible twos to the fucking threes and fours.
They think they know everything but can't actually do as much as they want. Like tiny, fearless teenagers.

You’re not alone! Everything is a battle at the moment with my 3 year old

Yep. That’s their job 😊 You’ll get your own back when they are 13/14 😉

It's a difficult age!

Pick your battles, be VERY selective. Remember it's takes two to argue!

When you've picked a battle, stick to your guns, every single time.

Don't be afraid to use (gentle, obviously) physical guidance if verbal isn't working. So, if he won't come, take his hand and lead him to the dinner table/the bathroom/to get his coat on.

Five is amazing so hang in there.

A phase that has gotten even worse with my 5yr old- she was actually lovely until 4- 3 she was a delight. Now it’s constant telling off.

Yes it is difficult and exhausting!

I loved this website for ideas for tantrums, etc

www.joyfultoddlers.com/

The Terrible Twos have nothing on the Terrible Threes! But it gets better, especially as they get into second year preschool, and preparation for school. It feels like forever at the time but it's fleeting in retrospect. Hang in there (lots of deep breaths, counting to 10, glasses of wine, etc!)

I also used to have special songs for tidying up, for meals and for washing hands, instead of giving an instruction.
We used to do this too! Distraction is the best defence.

I’m having this exact same problem with my 4 year old. He is constantly arguing, whining and crying. He doesn’t want to do anything unless it’s on his own terms. I’m so so fed up by the end of the day I can’t wait for him to sleep. Then when I see him asleep in bed I feel terrible and think ‘aww tomorrow will be better’.

Rinse and repeat.

He will argue black is blue, he disagrees with absolutely everything I say
I totally understand this. I remember our youngest one day saying he didn't want to go to preschool because it was raining. He was at the window pointing, saying it was raining (it was a bright sunny day). It's just a (rather annoying but sometimes funny) phase.

Difficult age & you'll definitely not be alone, he's more aware now that there are different things he likes/wants to do & is exceeding his own opinion. Tried & tested trick is to allow him some limited options which lets him feel like he is in control but actually is still doing what you want. So for example breakfast - would you like porridge or weetabix? Getting dressed blue top or dinosaur top? Snack time - apple or banana? Would you like to go to park or play in garden? - smiley face & say 'you choose' he'll try & moan to ask for something else at times but it does generally work if you can keep it upbeat & g8ve time for him to decide. Kids this age also like to be involved in helping & feeling grown up- use it to your advantage - get him to help mop the floor, give him a duster & lots of praise. Tantrums in the supermarket - give him a list of his own, make it interesting - who can spot the apples first, can you choose 4 red ones etc
It's all about picking your battles

I hear you. Whingy 4.5 year old here, but she is a delight more and more - the balance is tipping in our favour finally. They need sooo much sleep at this stage. I notice you say 8pm in your OP, mine is in bed at 6.30pm and it definitely helps.

My daughter was the most perfect specimen of child until 3.5. She was honestly a delight, I never had to shout, never had to get cross! The last year has been tricky to say the least. The arguments, the faffing about, the getting distracted, taking 6 million years to put socks in etc etc etc well it's just boring now! I hate talking by the end of the day, and look forward to going to work 🙈🤣🤣

3 is really tough. People always go on about the terrible twos but mine were absolutely delightful little cherubs when they were two, only to turn into wingey, grumpy little sods when they were 3.

Preaching to the choir 😂
I have a 3 and a 4 year old and they're both on one at the moment.
I'm at the absolute end of my tether 🙈

It's absolutely nuts. He goes out his way to be difficult with absolutely everything. Sock isn't in properly, won't wear a coat, doesn't like his dinner, wants chocolate instead of chicken, wanted bread toasting but then cross because bread was toasted 😩 the list is endless.
I'm finding I'm feeling guilty by bedtime because all I've done is tell him off and argue/ get frustrated but then it happens again the next day and the next forever and ever 😩😩😩

Is this her first term at school by any chance? Oh My God they turn into such trolls that term! I think because it's just so exhausting for them and they 'Have' to be good all day so you're their safe place to release it all in. Fairly hideous though!

We've been having a nightmare week with our 4yo. She's always been rather melodramatic compared to her older sister but she's been a horror lately. Hoping its some kind of developmental leap and she's going to come out the other side a calm and cooperative angel 😂 I can dream

I suspect that is what's going on with my DD!

I guarantee it! I've been working with children since forever and it's so common. She should be getting more bearable by Feb half term. It's such a big step for them, even if they went to nursery.

Literally my life right now… DS4 has a slight speech delay too which I’m sure adds to his frustration (although I have noticed in recent weeks that he becomes very articulate when arguing with me about something). I’m telling myself it’s a phase but I have shouted twice this week which I’m not proud of arghhh!

Plus he is just so full on! He was described by his gymnastics teacher as ‘bouncy’ she means he needs to calm the f**k down doesn’t she? 😭