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Original poster

To have a 3rd baby...

52 replies

ChenisteM · 15/11/2022 18:11

Hi all, how many of you have more than 2 children?
My kids are almost 5, 2 and a half and I'm back an forth on whether to have a 3rd...
My eldest has autism, not that that'd stop me and I've one boy and a girl.
I know my daughter would be an amazing big sister. She's very interested and aware of babies. I do worry it'd be another big change in life but he's now at primary school and doing well.
In theory theyd be at least 5 and 3 before a baby arrives.
How many do you have and what ages?
Is 3 much harder than 2 or by then are you a dab hand? Haha x

OP posts:
DuplicateUserName · 15/11/2022 18:12

What does your partner think?

MolliciousIntent · 15/11/2022 18:13

I think you'd be mad to do this personally, with one child with additional needs already.

Original poster
ChenisteM · 15/11/2022 18:14

My husband would love more children but he works full time so it's not him carrying, birthing and bringing up the babies

OP posts:

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Families
Retreat · 15/11/2022 18:16

We stopped at 2. However, we knew we could afford private education and extra curriculum activities with 2 children but would struggle with 3. So we based our decision on a good standard of living for our children. It depends on your circumstances really and if you and your other half both want a 3rd child.

pregnantandletdown · 15/11/2022 18:18

I can't give experience on what having three is like, but I am currently pregnant with my third so I have been through the same decision making process.

We also have a boy and a girl, but no additional needs (that we know of yet).

For us it came to heart over head. Our children bring us so much joy, so the drive ti have another outweighed the negatives of financial implications etc.

TheaBrandt · 15/11/2022 18:19

World population hit 8 billion today. So it’s a no from me.

sparkles82 · 15/11/2022 18:40

We have three and I love it! Our eldest had just turned 5 (just started Reception) when the youngest was born and the middle one was 2 years and 4 months. I won’t lie, it was a little hectic at times in the early days, but absolutely love having the three of them, and the house is always busy! I just found that I was so much more laid back third time around and didn’t sweat the small stuff. I can’t comment on the additional needs aspect, so this might be something that would need further consideration though. The cost of being a larger family is also something to bare in mind (bigger car etc)

Lentilweaver · 15/11/2022 18:52

I wouldn't. With your eldest. I often find on MN , posters haven't considered how much hard work and expense teenagers and young adults are. I have two DC with no add needs and they have nearly finished me off.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 15/11/2022 19:09

I have 2 ( adults now) son and daughter

I was the middle child of 3 and hated it growing up . I wouldn't fotce MiddleChild on my daughter .

BobbyBobbyBobby · 15/11/2022 19:16

TheaBrandt · 15/11/2022 18:19

World population hit 8 billion today. So it’s a no from me.

You really need not worry.

sustainablereview.com/overpopulation-is-a-myth/

DeadbeatYoda · 15/11/2022 20:09

I have three children, the oldest with on the autism spectrum. They are 17, 15 & 14. It's just me at home with them and we are a very close family. I adore them all and I have loved witnessing the relationships they have formed with each other. However, three of them,- bloody expensive! Family holidays, meals out, everything - bloody expensive.
Wouldn't be without my brilliant kids but I am a 'coper', I'm not bothered by putting my own needs at the back of the queue, I love being their mum. It's not for everyone.

AmyFl · 15/11/2022 20:11

I would say go for it, it will be so lovely having three.

mydogisthebest · 15/11/2022 20:16

Not a good idea. Far too many people in the world as it is. Also with everything going up in price and unlikely to come down any time soon if at all can you be sure you won't struggle?

Also I have 2 siblings and hated hated hated it. I vowed I would never have 3 children

LegoLady95 · 15/11/2022 20:20

I was one of three and loved having two siblings. We have three ourselves. Eldest is a teenager with severe autism and learning disabilities. Actually this meant my younger two have each other for a more traditional sibling relationship so it works well and wouldn't change it.

TheaBrandt · 15/11/2022 20:20

You will then have to parent 3 teens. Do not take advice from those with primary aged kids. They. Have. No. Idea.

Shortkiwi · 15/11/2022 20:22

I have 3 grown up children. The 3rd was born when the others were 6 and 5, I found it easier as the others were at school. She is the light of all our lives. We just adore her. The siblings are all close.

IsabelaYourBoyfriendsHere · 15/11/2022 20:29

I have three little girls aged 5, 2 and 1. They are all happy and loved and our life with them is absolutely wonderful. ❤️

Lentilweaver · 15/11/2022 20:30

TheaBrandt · 15/11/2022 20:20

You will then have to parent 3 teens. Do not take advice from those with primary aged kids. They. Have. No. Idea.

So. Much. This.

TheaBrandt · 15/11/2022 20:32

And my teens are lovely. But it’s sooo stressful! Not to mention extremely expensive!

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/11/2022 20:33

You're thinking babies. Stop that. My friend just went away without her DH because they can't afford 5 fares. And they are teenagers.

You can give two more than you can give three.

Geneticsbunny · 15/11/2022 20:39

I wouldn't if I was you. I have three, one of whom has disabilities and his needs are extremely high and it is very hard to give all three of them the time they need. Also work bearing in mind that autism is very hereditary and if you have two or even three kids with autism (as it is often diagnosed later on) then it will be much harder to give them the support that they need.

Lcb123 · 15/11/2022 20:40

I’m one of three. Would never have more than two myself…

PottyDottyDotPot · 15/11/2022 20:43

I have three grown up DC and I love it, they’ve always all got on well with each other, I am
very lucky.

thebestcestmoi · 15/11/2022 20:43

I have 2. One is autistic and I won’t have another because the chances of having another autistic child are much higher once you already have one. I couldn’t cope with another child with additional needs.

MixedCouple · 15/11/2022 20:46

I have one planning on having 4.

All.my friends have 4 kids each.(4 mates).

1 of my friends had her kids back to back 13-15 months apart.
The other 3 have 2/3 year age gaps.

1.of my friends her eldest has ADHD and she home.schools him. The other 3 are under 5. So her day is full.

It depends on what you.and your partner want are you focused on kids and given them a loving home,.having few and spending money and giving them the "best" money can buy.

Personally I am a SAHM and waited years to have kids now I want a big loving family lots of siblings and a busy household. I love taking care of my family and raising my first and cant wait to add more to the family.