How is this all going to end?

[Ghostsapply]

We are a relatively high income family but we are really feeling the pinch. Our fuel bill has increased massively (more than tripled) as has our food bill. We are both professionals but DH has just lost his contract (I'm hoping another one won't be too far away) and my job has a ceiling in terms of pay. We work really hard and yet we have less disposable income now than when I was a SAHP (kids have become more expensive as they've got older). Our house feels like it is falling apart but we can't afford to do the work. Holidays abroad are not feasible anymore and we are cutting back on the extras that we have previously enjoyed (tutors for kids, extra clubs etc) which will have a knock on effect for local businesses. We pay so much money in tax and yet our public services are not fit for purpose.

I just don't see how this is going to end? How will it get better? With Hunt announcing further cuts to public spending and more tax how are we going to grow the economy. I feel like we are totally beholden to financial markets who don't have the interests of the general public at heart. Even if we held a GE and voted the Tories out then a new Government would have to deal with the shit they have been left.

Please help me understand how it is going to get better. For the first time ever I am actually scared that we will lose everything. FWIW I have had really hard times before but now it seems there is so much more to lose.

Which is why the public debt is so high, and why people's bills are rising....u, I am not sure why you are making this political. It is a problem everywhere in the world, regardless of political leaning

It's political because the political decisions the Tories have made in the last 12 years they have been in government have made this a whole lot worse than it needs to be.

OP, it will end and things will easy, but certainly not easy going through it.

I know it's only a temporary thing and won't pay loads, but I work in a shop and we just can't get enough xmas temps - they're still interviewing this close to xmas. It's hit and miss how many, but we do normally take 2-6 full and part time people on after xmas. Might be worth your DH trying some of the main ones.

Yeah.
It's shit.

Never had any benefits except child benefit and haven't had that for a decade.

Our household pays 40% tax...for what?

Nhs is broken, schools are at breaking point, we have no street lighting where I live anymore. They are also now talking about fewer household waste collections!

Haven't been able to get a drs appointment since April...our surgery offers NO routine appointments, only emergencies.

Called the police for a friend who was being abused by her partner and scared for her safety...they eventually turned up the next day.

I take my mum to hospital in the car now. No point calling an ambulance. Takes 8 hours +

I'd love to know where all out money is going. Because public services are not fit for purpose. So where is it going?

dodgy covid contracts and loans to tory donors, covidol loan fraud, trussonomics which have cost the UK £50 bn

Only read the OP's posts.

We are a relatively high income family but we are really feeling the pinch. Our fuel bill has increased massively (more than tripled) as has our food bill.

This seems a lot more than most people's increases.

Do you mean you food bill has also trebled, because again that seems a great deal.

I’m one of the 15% brigade and before that it was 12%. I’m a boomer as well so shoot me now. I recall those days of 15%, it was awful.
However. It’s awful now once again, the fuel rises are criminal, or at least they should be, the knock on effect is higher prices across the board.
I totally sympathise, From her updates it seems OP can’t do any more, or at least not much more than she’s doing now.
I get it OP, the day that letter arrived telling us our mortgage was going up from 12% to 15% is etched on my brain.
And as for the comments on her having four children..she can’t exactly send a couple of them back can she.

i think we all realise that relatively we don't have it as bad a lots of people - We can still afford food and a little bit of heating etc. But i think we are all still allowed to feel a bit worried and sad that even though most of us are dual income households earning way above minimum wage, our current standard of living is way way below what our parents were who were likely single income, average wage households.
10 years ago I could only dream that our household income would be as high as it is now (its not like crazy money but certainlly more than average) yet our bills are sooo much higher that we actually can afford less treats and days out.

Mortgage - 50% higher than 2 years ago when we rented - we have now bought a house of equal size.
Utilities - 200% more than a year ago
Food - probably 100% more than a year ago - we dont eat steak or legs or lamb at all or more than 1 bottle of £5 wine a month, its just normal everyday mince and pasta and milk etc.
Fuel - at the very peak it was costing me almost double to fill up a tank

Those things I cant control so have wiped out all of our disposable income. We do have some things like netflix etc that we could get rid of but we dont go out etc and the small amount of savings wouldnt make much difference!

Moving house wouldnt help as at the moment a 3 bed semi is going for rent at 50% more than our mortgage and we wouldnt be able to even afford our own house at todays prices even though we only bought it 18 months ago. its a standard ex council house so nothing flashy!

Dont derail the thread please

Having a SAHP can actually save money. It really does for us. I do work, but I went remote and increased my earning potential that way. I work around my home duties instead of fitting in my home duties around work.

These are the ways it increases our overall income:

He can work more because I relieved him of every household duty so he can work evenings and weekends and come home to a clean house, a hot meal, and completely relax instead of having anything else to think about on top of work.

He uses the time to do what he enjoys such as the gym and that's how he relaxes and in turn is able to work more and more effectively.

Lower food budget because I enjoy cooking and can shop around during the day and cook from scratch it means our food budget (2 adults, 1 child, 2 animals) remains around £200-250/month.

So not much junk, no convenience foods, he gets lunch for work most days, and we do packed lunch for school.

Zero childcare costs this one's a no brainer. My work means I can get the child and take her every day and we never need childcare for work so absolutely no costs, and these can be astronomical.

Increasing my income the whole COVID thing really helped kickstart the digital age and it benefited us because I went remote at work and then did some training and skills in the time I'm not at work to be able to do an increasing number of freelance jobs paying more and more as I become more specialised and skilled.

So overall having me at home (incidentally where I like being) saves us quite a bit with the added benefit of not struggling with stress.

Some of the comments on here are disgraceful OP. I'm old enough to remember 15% interest rates and I was in negative equity. It was horrible but I don't remember ever thinking I wouldn't be able to pay my utility bills. There are only 2 of us in a smallish house but I can see that I'm going to struggle to keep our monthly bills below our £400 direct debit when it gets colder. It's depressing and it's miserable and it's very worrying. It must be so difficult with a larger family. I don't have any answers but I wish you all the best.

Sorry you’re going through this op. I really wish your husband finds another contract soon and all your financial worries are alleviated. It really does seem like working hard no longer pays. The current situation has affected everyone from those on benefits to those on supposedly high incomes, everything has multiplied in price so much. I hope this is taken into account when deciding Thursday’s budget.

This is completely untrue.

Europe, by which I presume you mean the EU is experiencing similar high inflation, job insecurity and shortages as we are. Recently In France the relèvent minister announced ‘the good news’ that three out of four petrol stations now had some supplies, compared two out of three as had been the case for some months. Our media do not show the rioting which has been happening in France and Germany over high prices and increased taxation.

Where exactly is this lack of accountability you talk of? I didn't start this thread saying "everything is shit but someone needs to bail me out". I started it because I'm scared and anxious that life as we know it (my family) will potentially be unrecognisable to what it is now.

I am absolutely sure that we will be fine. We could lose our house and our quality of life may be significantly worse but I also recognise that we are fortunate to have the tools to figure it out somehow when many do not.

However, I am allowed to say that this is shit. I am allowed to comment that political decisions and global events that are entirely outside of my control have had and will continue to have a huge impact on our life. It doesn't been I'm not accountable and it doesn't mean I expect anyone to come to my rescue but sharing experiences and knowing that others feel the same is a cathartic experience.

OP, I agree with you and also wish people on MN would not automatically go into aggressive mode. I think your concerns are completely justified, fingers crossed things look up sooner rather than later!

This was in response to @Venetiaparties

This has confirmed my suspicions that you are taking the mick.

Realistically, this is not going to be 2 years as people have said.

In addition to the variables of utilities, food, the impact of Covid, the war in the Ukraine, Brexit has fundamentally damaged our economy - it has wiped 4-5% off GDP (£100 billion a year and £40 billion in tax receipts) and hurt trade in a way that will not be possible to fix. Without Brexit we would probably not be facing austerity, without Truss we would definitely not have such a large black hole in the economy. The combination of all these factors mean challenging financial circumstances for at least 5 years and possibly even 10 - depending on future political choices.

We need to get real, understand these conditions are for the foreseeable future, and make choices accordingly.

I hope your DH finds a jobs soon. I'm in the same situation. Husband made redundant and struggling to find a new job, and he's the main earner. My salary will cover the mortgage payment and council tax, and that's it. I'm going on maternity leave in a few months and I'll only get statutory mat pay. We have savings we can use for a bit but we bought a do-er upper of a house as our first house and using savings to live means we won't be able to fix the rotten doors and cracked windows or have a kitchen that isn't literally falling apart. Our car is 20 years old and won't go into reverse properly, I would love a new one but we can't afford it.

On paper we are high earning professionals (as long as DH has a job) but I am a bit worried at the moment. And no, it's not the end of the world and my DC will have a roof over their head and food etc. but it's still a bit shit. We're allowed to feel that way. I've lived in poverty before as a child and I know what it's like, but someone always has it worse. It doesn't mean other people don't have financial worries.

People who say ‘sell your house & move somewhere smaller’ - really? You think that’s a good idea? Unless the OP is living in a palace she bought for £150k 25 years ago and it’s now worth 750k, selling up and moving, particularly when her husband is between contracts, is the most stupid idea ever.
This just isn’t remotely possible or indeed affordable for almost anyone. Maybe the people who suggest that have never moved house?! And don’t realise that even a downsize costs 10s of 1000s, and now mortgage rates have rocketed (& rents too) that they wouldn’t even save money on the monthly payments anyway?
We live in a small 3 bed semi which is worth about 400k - we couldn’t downsize to anything, as the next size down house would be a tiny 2 bed which wouldn’t work for a family of 4 (two teenagers) and I’m sure many people are in the same boat. OP with 4 kids would struggle to downsize anyway - even with kids sharing it’s still going to need to have a min of 3 bedrooms which would still cost £££ a month.
People on here throw out the most stupid suggestions sometimes!

Of course you are worried.
We are all worried.

I think it annoyed me when you said you thought you should be 'thriving'. Thousands and thousands of people are dying not too far from here, why on earth would you imagine you can still thrive in the situation we are all in?
We are at war, it maybe a proxy war, but it is a war all the same with Russia. It is going to feel painful and difficult. It is hard, I agree with you. And scary.

And you are absolutely entitled to be scared and worried of course. And also right to expect some quality of life given how hard you work and how tired you must be keeping everything going. This is hopefully going to be short term, but there are no guarantees. It depends on so many different things, all we can do is keep going and do what we can.

We can't see what next year will bring yet, and I hope very much for everyone's sake it is not the worst case scenario. It is hard living with so much uncertainty. After the pandemic we needed time to recover and it hasn't happened. I wish you the best.

Why are Germany and France in deep recession? They did not have brexit.

Why do people have more than 2 children and they complain they are struggling?

No, no one can see the future but common sense should tell you things MIGHT change. One or both of you could lose their job, could become ill and unable to work, you could split up. There are many things that could happen and the less children and outgoings you have the better you are likely to cope.

Everywhere is in recession, but they don’t have the depth of the black hole that we do, and they don’t have the barriers to trade that will impact our recovery. We will have the slowest growth of the G7 countries in 2023.

I am too. It was shit and it’s shit now. It’s not a competition. It must be terrifying for people who haven’t seen this before as adults.

I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time op. It’s such a worrying time. We should be angry at the government for most of this.

The UK is the only major economy to be shrinking in the 3 months to September and is the only one not to have recovered in full the chunk of the economy lost during the pandemic (BBC news article 4 days ago).

This is not all pandemic and Ukraine but also the decision to leave the EU and Tory mini budget.

So because I have four children I'm not allowed to complain or find things worrying? What about someone with one child? Two? Is it acceptable then? I mean they chose to have those kids so surely they shouldn't be surprised that it might be hard work but they're allowed to reach out for support right?