How is this all going to end?

[Ghostsapply]

We are a relatively high income family but we are really feeling the pinch. Our fuel bill has increased massively (more than tripled) as has our food bill. We are both professionals but DH has just lost his contract (I'm hoping another one won't be too far away) and my job has a ceiling in terms of pay. We work really hard and yet we have less disposable income now than when I was a SAHP (kids have become more expensive as they've got older). Our house feels like it is falling apart but we can't afford to do the work. Holidays abroad are not feasible anymore and we are cutting back on the extras that we have previously enjoyed (tutors for kids, extra clubs etc) which will have a knock on effect for local businesses. We pay so much money in tax and yet our public services are not fit for purpose.

I just don't see how this is going to end? How will it get better? With Hunt announcing further cuts to public spending and more tax how are we going to grow the economy. I feel like we are totally beholden to financial markets who don't have the interests of the general public at heart. Even if we held a GE and voted the Tories out then a new Government would have to deal with the shit they have been left.

Please help me understand how it is going to get better. For the first time ever I am actually scared that we will lose everything. FWIW I have had really hard times before but now it seems there is so much more to lose.

We lived in a very expensive part of the country back in 1989-93, the recession hit us hard, we were both working but the interest rates rose to 15%.
We had 2 young children and the threat of redundancy hanging over us.
It was a very hard time, there were few treats, no holidays and we only bought essential clothing and food.
We had an exit plan if redundancy hit.
We did get through but it was a difficult time that put an enormous strain on our marriage.
I think what saved us was communicating well and good financial planning.

pinkstripeycat You are assuming we don't do those things already. Our house if 14.3 degrees for Christ sake. We're paying £700 a month and we are still fucking freezing. I shop at Lidl and Aldi. I have a second job. I cook everything from scratch. We have two cars - one is an electric company car and the other is 11 years old with 150 000 miles on the clock. I only ever buy clothes from a charity shop (except shoes and sports kit). We live in a small town with shit employment opportunities so we have to travel for any decent money.
We work hard and we earn (for now) good money but that doesn't mean we've been living a life of luxury. All our spare money has gone on the kids (sports/tutoring etc) but those will have to go and it makes me sad that they will not have those opportunities going forwards.
Yes I'm grateful for a roof over my head and the fact we aren't yet destitute but it shouldn't be this hard.

You are right OP, it shouldn't be. The cost of everything has risen astronomically this year and you are not unreasonable to find this a struggle.

No it shouldn’t be.
from an outsiders point your coming from a very good starting point, it doesn’t stop the worries though.

all you can do is keep going, and do what your doing. I think the next few months are going to shock a lot of people, you can do everything “right” yet sometimes. It’s still not enough.

Op. You are not entitled to an easy life.

You said you should be 'thriving' but actually at the moment who can expect to be thriving when we have just come out of a pandemic that cost trillions and we are the verge of WW3 and a war is waging in Europe just a few thousand miles from here???

Your expectations are completely out of kilter with reality.

No one is going to 'thrive' in the circumstances. You can't expect it not to be hard for you, but hard for others. It is going to be bloody hard for everyone! And we are not even in the midst of the actual war. We are in fact the lucky ones.

You need to lower your expectations of life.
You are not entitled to have an easy ride!

You had four kids. You have to take some responsibility for the huge costs that are involved - it didn't happen by chance. If you were worried about your kids experiencing a recession like experience and you actually called yourself a victim of that weirdly, why have such a big family? You are where you are now, and you will have to cut your cloth like everyone else and look forward to better times in the future. Teach your children resilience not entitlement, show them how to be positive in difficult situations, and grateful for their safe life, home and school. Life is not always easy and I am sorry you think it should be.

Classic nanny state mindset. Victimisation and the poor me, why me outlook won't help you one bit.

I see the usual ‘back in the days we did this or froze to death’ crowd are here 🙄

Its shit OP, hope your husband finds a contract soon, its going to be a shit couple of years for some of us but hopefully there is light at the end of the tunnel (or so i tell myself)

Ahh yes and the 15% interest brigade also here 🤣

Venetiaparties Seriously? Victim mindset! Are you fucking kidding me? We are absolutely self-sufficient and always have been. I have never claimed benefits in my life and before you start on how lucky I've been not to be in that position, you literally have no clue. I have been homeless, I have worked 3 jobs, I've had an ED and took an overdose as a teen. I have built my own resilience and I've worked hard for it. I don't take this for granted. I work with the most vulnerable people in society and I fight really hard for them every single bloody day. How dare you lecture me on "cutting my own cloth".

The point is that the standard and quality of living in this country is absolute shite.

It's completely reasonable to expect that a two - income household on decent salaries should be able to afford a few luxuries like holidays.

Life isn't supposed to be an endurance test of existence, scraping by on the bare minimum.

Can your DP really afford to be concentrating on contract work? Perhaps he should look at something Perm for the time being?

Why are people judging OP for having 4 children? It's not like she can put them back, is it? From what she says, seems she is already "cutting her cloth", and is understandably fearful for the future; we all are. And there is, after all, only so much one can cut.

Why do you expect to be thriving? You haven't actually answered the question.

Do you not realise what is actually happening? It could get far far far worse.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but at this moment we are in the best case scenario situation. This is the very best it is going to be for a good long while, and things could get worse, much worse.

People need to adjust their expectations and start really reading about the world economy, the global order and the financial framework that is creaking under the weight of global debt.China's property and banking crisis, and how many countries may go bankrupt in the next 12-18 months.

Yes it is bloody hard. But for goodness sake WAKE UP

We are not even at the beginning of the beginning of this crisis yet, and maybe we will be somehow lucky and swerve the juggernaut heading straight for us. But there are no guarantees.

You would do well to buckle up.

Feeling much the same OP. Unfortunately I don’t know either.

In a world of free contraception, mornings after pills and chemical abortion - every single child born these days is here out of choice.

If you have four kids you should expect a tough existence. Children can be hard work, expensive and are likely to drain you of all resources.

Op knowingly took all of this on, so she can't be surprised when things are hard. By definition four kids are hard!!

Ah, so apparently we should all just count ourselves lucky that our energy bills have tripled and we have no disposable income as it could be worse? We all just need to get three jobs and rent out our own homes. And stop feeling so entitled to have public services in return for the tax we pay!

As for nanny state, where I live even Tory councillors are outraged about Tory spending cuts (which they voted for) and our council is about to go bankrupt. The problems the OP describes are very real and they have every right to think it's shit. Having four kids is irrelevant as it is affecting everyone. The war in Europe is not exactly the whole reason it's all so crap in the UK, is it?

You forgot about the pandemic.

Why do I expect to be thriving? Because we're told that if you work hard, you will reap the rewards and technically we have done everything right. We are educated and we've worked hard for our entire lives. We have never had financial support from anyone else, either monetarily or from free childcare or staying with family to build a deposit. I would expect that things got easier not harder. Should we all just be setting the bar incredibly low so that just scraping by is our level of aspiration?

We do have four children who are happy, healthy and well-nourished. I am hopeful that we are setting them up to be in a position that they can thrive. I have never been in any doubt that it would be hard work but it has never been as hard as it is now and my eldest is nearly 18 so I think we've done an alright job of it so far.

Are we no longer allowed to say things are tough just because we make certain choices?

Having four children clearly isn’t irrelevant. Had they had fewer they would be struggling less.

When you say you’ve never had support, you mean you never received child benefit?

Even the stuff the government prioritise - investment banking and services industries are fucking off overseas now, Paris and Frankfurt taking over from London. I hope things will get better but this selfish, incompetent, corrupt government has done such long term damage to the economy.

You're right, the pandemic also isn't the entire reason everything in the UK is shit - although I know the Tories like to tell us it is.

Yes that was my point. Four children was always going to be very tough, unless you are very wealthy.

No one takes responsibility for the things they have chosen to do, they would be in a good position now with two kids, but that was THEIR choice, and yet there is no accountability on this thread at all. No recognition that they have contributed to their own financial issues by having more children than they can reasonably afford in a downturn.

Their handling of the pandemic is partly the reason - they wasted billions giving contracts to their mates which they are now looking to the taxpayer to pay for.

What the fuck is it with people on here lately? Clearly just goady fuckers. I have two children and I’m struggling. The vast majority of people are struggling.

When I had two children the economy was completely different! I’m sure it was when the OP started having children.

What are you expecting her to say? That she’s sorry she didn’t foresee the pandemic? She’s sorry she didn’t see the sodding war in Ukraine? She’s sorry she didn’t think the Tories and Liz Truss could completely fuck the economy more than they already had?

Errr well the pandemic costs trillions! Which is why the public debt is so high, and why people's bills are rising....u, I am not sure why you are making this political. It is a problem everywhere in the world, regardless of political leaning.

I strongly disagree that 'everything is shit' it might be for you, personally and that is very sad. But it is not a universal experience. Yes it is tough going, but we will ride it out. I am old enough to have been through many recessions, they come and they go.