OMG. £110 pp quote for a wedding.

[romanceit]

What sort of madness is this?! Yes it is a hotel package but I've been to two or three weddings in this hotel and it's certainly not a particularly high end one.

Living in sin it is!

Well… you don’t have to have a hotel wedding y’know

You could do the registry office / nice dinner with closest family thing. It’s not “hotel wedding or living in sin” as the only choices

Bog standard I would have thought? It was £50 for mine and that was almost 20 years ago!

That's pretty standard.

You can find cheaper weddings.

It depends what is included? 3 course meal only? Basic alcoholic drinks? Endless bar?

Look around more if its not what you can afford, cut the guest list or check if things can be removed from the set price.

Pretty sure plenty of hotels won't be that expensive.

Agree with pp, registry office and meal would be lovely. Actually, that's what I wanted. Dh wanted a big (ish) wedding and it was a fraction of £110 pp.

That's not expensive! If it includes an overnight I would have thought more like 4 or £500 per person. I got married 12 years ago and it was 200.00 a head with no accommodation. There are choices for all budgets though

Hotel weddings are not great if you don't have a big budget. Registry office or church and then a good pub garden where you can spend the money on food and drink is best

That is 3 course set menu, arrival drink, drink for the toast and one drink pp per meal. It's terrifying adding it up. There's nothing really that can be cut.

We're in an awkward situation of being a little bit older. We've all gone to all of our friends' weddings and we've got big families too.

A registry and meal would be fine, but not quite what we wanted.

Find a cheaper location - church hall? Sports club? and buy catering in separately, possibly even including potluck elements.

You don't need a 3 course meal option though. There are cheaper options. You could go buffet style or use external caterers.

You could have a big gazebo in a field and hot pork baps if you wanted to.

Unfortunately that's actually quite cheap as far as hotel packages go. Our wedding package (not a hotel but a beautiful catered venue) was £150 per head but we negotiated down to £138 in the end.

Can you outline your dream wedding OP, and we might be able to make alternative suggestions?

I really just want a mildly standard 3 course hotel meal. Baps in a field is absolutely not the done thing here. I'd be mortified.

My mum suggested a hall but tbh I think the costs would just be hidden and we'd end up paying more or less the same.

Reduce your numbers?

I don't particularly have a dream. I just want a nice meal and a good band and everyone up dancing.

I'd like to know what we're paying up front and what I like about the hotel is the co-ordination aspect being done for us.

that's on the cheap side for a hotel wedding in a private room with service.

How would you be paying the same in a hall??

I did spend a fortune on a community centre reception because the main room doubles up as a volleyball/basketball court and I didn't think it was very glamorous, so spent £4k putting up a marquee inside it. But you don't have to be as extravagant as me.

Choose a nice hall and book local caterers to do a posh buffet. Buy the wine yourself and you don't have to pay corkage. The caterers will charge a lot for chairs tables etc but it might be easier to do that yourself.

Mine was £100 per person 8 years ago - again fairly standard hotel (and we didn't even have the ceremony there!)

Might you be able to find a restaurant that has space for a band / dancing and would do a private hire? Depending on numbers it could work out cheaper at somewhere that's not usually a wedding venue.

Never mind what the done thing is, do what suits you, not what meets the expectations of snobby Aunty Sue!

Age doesn't matter either.

I'm sure there are lovely cheaper weddings to be had if you focus on what you want not what you think others expect.

Posh pub that has an event space might be cheaper?

The numbers thing is so hard. As I said, we both have big families. We've been to lots of friends' weddings. How do you cut people without permanently offending them?

that’s very reasonable for what you listed

that's pretty reasonable.

Got married in April and paid about £90pp at a boutique chain hotel, included same as yours but half bottle of wine plus welcome drink and toast drink. I liked the fact we knew the cost upfront; and no venue hire fee so at least fewer people meant cheaper! I think a hall or venue where you have to sort everything yourself can be cheaper but harder to predict the end cost. We got our hotel room included for the night, plus name cards, table plan, some decorations. It was so well coordinated by the event team, we barely had to do anything! We swapped starter for canapés as well.

What numbers are you hoping to invite?

I do think it's horribly hard to cut numbers to fit a venue. Never going to feel good.