Those of you that have overcome anxiety…

[Sfuandtired]

How did you achieve it? I’m driving myself crazy with my constant overthinking, catastrophising and generally stressing myself out completely.

I have been taking Fluoxetine which definitely helps but not as much as it used to, I wonder if the fact I’m peri menopausal is a factor there, any tips gratefully received. TIA

Duloxetine. Has been a life saver. Plus CBT. Worth changing your meds if you feel they aren’t working- finding the right ones makes the world of difference.

Is catostrophising anxiety? I do that all the time I don't know why I do it and I hate it.

Place marking as I'm the same at the moment. I especially wake at night, at least once every night, with panic attacks, anxiety and racing heart.

I was given a good link to follow by a mumsnetter the other day. It was really helpful for when I'm stronger and able to act more rationally. When I'm weak, like today, my heads just racing and when it comes on in my sleep its uncontrollable.

Awful anxiety as a result of menopause. Just awful. Sertraline has given me my life back.

I stopped drinking completely. Lots of exercise. Also focused on what I enjoy and spent time with people who are positive and binned off anyone who was toxic to me. I feel like a different person. My anxiety was mainly socially based so the latter was essential.

I started hrt for anxiety. Not sure if its helping.

Coming to the realisation that it’s the most self centred thing you can do 😂 and that no one gives a shit about you to be fair in the nicest possible way xxx

Things that have helped me -

CBD oil. No longer need this now.
Low dose diazepam (only when really needed)
Scenic walks, especially along a beach.
Ditched long term friends who I was probably friends with out of habit and was scared of losing my 'main' social life but they really drained the life out of me and who I felt I was back in bitchy high school being with them (I'm 40). Day to day social chat has drastically gone down but life and anxiety have improved as a result.
Less alcohol - still struggling with this myself to be honest but it's an obvious one.
Write down positive things, things to be thankful for, little good goals to achieve but nothing overwhelming.

For me it was finally finding the right therapy. Had previously had NHS CBT which was poor. Had 2 x private counselling of 6 sessions each , a mixed bag.

The thing that finally worked for me was 12 sessions with an incredible psychotherapist (accessed for free through work - NHS). Having the right therapist, someone who I genuinely connected with, made all the difference to me. It has completely changed how I think about (and react) to things.

Propranolol helped me before but never addressed the root cause.

Sertraline gave me lucid nightmares and stole my ability to orgasm. Not for me.

<hugs> for you @Sfuandtired . I know how shit and relentless and fucking exhausting it us.

Also to add maybe take an afternoon and get a coffee and just people watch, then you’ll realise how normal and well put together you probably are 🥰 xxx

Schema therapy followed by CBT. Schema to drill down to what exactly I was scared of and CBT to give me tools to help mitigate it and make changes that were reasonable adjustments.

For me, time. I tried all sorts of meds, but nothing worked, made me feel worse. I'm not sure how I got where I am but I feel ok now. Not a lot of help sorry.

I learned that a thought is just a thought, it can be observed but you don’t need to add value or meaning to it (just because I think it doesn’t make it true or important), and recognising thinking about something more often doesn’t mean it’s more important, the quantity of worrying time isn’t necessarily equivalent to how big the problem is.
worrying didn’t actually accomplish anything, what could I actually do about the things I was worrying about? If nothing then why waste your time thinking about it.

also a big help for me was setting aside time to worry. So if I was stressing about something, I would say ok I’m having a nice time right now doing this thing, or I haven’t got mental capacity to be anxious about this right now, so I’m going to set an event in my calendar for in an hour/a day/a week. and I’ll give myself 30 mins to delve into this, to worry to cry to panic to make a plan of action, whatever. And then that’s it. If I need to schedule another 30 mins another time then fine, and if not then it’s resolved. Having the time set aside so I wouldn’t ‘forget’ to worry helped me compartmentalise and sometimes when the alarm went off I didn’t care about that thing anymore anyway

but mine wasn’t related to menopause so I appreciate this may not apply!

What works for 1 person may not work for another but for me, I turn my worry into a visual image. Normally one of the old underwater mines, the spikey one. I turn the colour of it yellow instead of gray, then I imagine touching it. Turn the touch from cold and hard into something like a stress ball so soft and squidgy. By then time I've done this, I can usually rationalise the worry and work out a plan.

I also actively monitor my moods on a period app. This has helped to recognise when it's likely to be a hormonal thing.

I used to worry the most about the death of a loved one. I realised one day though that this is going to happen to us all so I can either worry about this or enjoy the time that I have with them. This was a turning point for me.

Following for help and advice also. I’m now onto my 3rd AD to see if it helps

NHS CBT was hugely helpful to me. Stopped a certain thought train that was hugely impacting my life, pretty much instantly.

That and allocated "worry time" which sounds pathetic but works! I used to give myself an hour at a set time each day where I could worry about everything but then it had to stop and I'd do something else. Very soon couldn't be bothered to worry at all at worry time, because I'd learnt how to stop it as I had control over it....

Cutting out alcohol has made a huge difference to my mood

Read books instead of newspapers. Above all, read books written in the past. It will lift you out of yourself and take you somewhere else. Dickens, PG Wodehouse, Sherlock Holmes, Jane Austen, the Brontes...those are my go-tos. If you dislike reading, listen to audiobooks. Listening to Stephen Fry read Sherlock Holmes is one of life's great pleasures.

Don't watch the news. You really, really don't need to.

Meditate. I was very cynical about this, but Mark Williams is a lifesaver. You can go on youtube right now and listen to him for free. His 'body scan' meditation is unbelievable. My mother has terrible anxiety, and is dismissive of meditation, but the Williams body scan put her to sleep! She thinks it's magic.

Cut caffeine completely (including soft drinks and tea).

Stop drinking alcohol.

Cut negative, anxious, depressing people from your life.

CBT

I have to do this actively for sure. Sleep, good food, meditation, yoga, exercise, avoid negative people, no alcohol, little caffeine, lots of vitamins ☀️

• exercise that you enjoy/gives you a buzz
• other regular mood-enhancing things like music
• give up reading/watching the news, especially if it feeds worry
• less mumsnet (sorry, but it’s quite a negative place!)
• CBT

I did the above 3 years ago and consider myself cured. Obviously I have lapsed a bit on mn but I try to ration myself.

Have a look at Tim Box's Youtube channel. Lots of free, helpful short videos on all aspects of anxiety.

I used to take antidepressants and propranolol (beta blocker) for my anxiety which I have held for many years.

CBT followed by DBT were revolutionary to my life. DBT particularly encouraged homework which needed involvement from those you live with and it really helped hubby understand and subsequently support my thoughts and feelings that previously I hadn’t successfully explained.

Realising that anxiety never goes away and that you can learn management strategies that lessen its impact helps too - your anxiety doesn’t need (and can’t) be cured instead it needs acceptance and reassurance so that it takes a back seat in your life.

Learning more about how and what you’re feeling in deeper detail is very enlightening and can help you intervene on your own spirals before you’re sucked into them.

@tiredmum100

I'm not able to take medication as it caused me to collapse without warning. So I'm having to deal with it without. I know it will take longer this way. Everyone's input is helpful to read and to know I'm not alone and gives me things to work on.

Citalopram completely changed my life..tried everything else but the drugs where magical!