Family dilemma!!!! Need advice!!!

[Mummmof2]

Hi all, I'm looking for your advice on a situation thats doesn't seem that much of a big deal but is causing me a lot of stress.

My mum and dad slip up last year, they have us 4 adult children and we all have our own small children, my dad remained in the family house and my mum and younger sister moved out to a new place, they don't speak at all anymore and 2 of my siblings don't speak to my dad either.

The family dog has remained with my dad, he is a rottweiler.

Ever since my mum ect moved out, myself and my older brother would take turns to go and help my dad with the dog, so he would leave for work at 5.30am and myself and brother would go around 7am and me at 11am to let the dog out and feed him.. I would do this twice a week and brother every morning at 7 am. My dad would also have a dog walker in around 2pm.

I moved last year to a new area around a 15 minute drive from my dads house, and since I moved ive still been helping by going at 11am but now my daughter aged 4 has a new nursery time table and doesn't start until 1pm.

To be honest it is a bit of a struggle to get to my dads house with my daughter, some mornings she just wants to relax or go out with me, its stressful that I cant commit to anything in my mornings with her with her because my dad expects me to help with the dog. I need to stay at his for around 30-40 mins with the dog.

I have told him I can't commit to it but am I being mean doing this, he keeps asking me to help with the dog even though I've voiced my concern a few times now.

My brother has moved a few hours away but he still has the dog walker who helps.

Please be kind I just need some advice!

Do you have a job?

Your dad is an adult. He should get daycare or dogwalker.

Its ridiculous expecting you to do it with a small child.

What's that got to do with it?

Because how on earth could the dad expect someone to do this if they worked or perhaps the arrangement is stopping the op from working

Although I suspect you were hoping for something fruitier!

Who on earth gets a Rottweiler as the “family dog” with young children around?

My partner works full time and I work weekends

23 hours ago reported a child mailed to death by a Rottweiler

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11405579/amp/Cowra-dog-attack-Jyedon-Pollard-rushed-hospital-motel-boss-Rottweiler-cattle-dog-bite.html

It was a dog that got for the family when we didn't have our own children yet. We were all adults at the time! And to add rottweilers are very loving and gentle dogs just because they are a big dog breed doesn't mean they are dangerous, its the owners that give the breed a bad rep!

Yanbu
The dog is not your responsibility.
Just say you won't do it any more. Is your Dad a bully?Is that why you are struggling with it?

Your dad needs to make other arrangements. Youve helped him out enough with this.
im wondering if your mum & siblings not speaking to him anymore is due to him being quite an unreasonable character in general?

Why does the dog need checking on twice - the dog walker comes earlier then there's no need for you to go around.

It's not a puppy

I understand and I've heard a lot of stories about all kinds of dog breeds, my daughter doesn't go anywhere near any dogs, she's not been to my dads yet when I've helped as she's been at nursery but now that her time table has changed I won't be able to manage helping with the dog anyway but was looking for advice!

Why does the dog need someone every 2-3 hours? Your dad at 5.40, brother at 7, you at 11, dog walker at 2. That’s a lot of visits!

can’t your dad walk/wee at 5, dog walker come at 10ish and you go after nursery drop off at 2?

My dad is actually a really good person to be honest, he's always been a great dad and a great family man and has always helped me along the way thats why I'm feeling a bit bad about it because I feel like he has helped me out at times and now I feel that its just a big commitment.

My siblings don't speak to him due to my mum and dad splitting up and they basically took my mums side where I've always stayed neutral

Your situation has changed. Your Dad needs to let go of his expectations and care for his own dog. You shouldn't miss out on doing things with your DD (and your DD shouldn't be missing out either).

What’s with the random scaremongering that has nothing to do with the OP’s situation?

Whole situation sounds bananas. Presumably the dog is an adult dog and not a puppy. Why can’t your dad take him out for a wee before going to work, get dog walker earlier at 12, and come back and let him out when he gets home? The dog will adjust to its new routine and be absolutely fine. I personally don’t see any need for either you or your brother to be involved in its day to day care. I have a dog and when I was working full time, she had a dog walker at lunchtime but this was it until I got home from work and I think this is how the majority of working dog owners operate. Put your foot down with your dad, it’s too much of a commitment for you.

You're dad is an adult. He needs to sort himself out. Just tell him you can't do it any more.

Could your dad drop him with you/your mum one day a week each? Then day care for 3 half days?

The commitment sounds stressful. With a young child I would want mornings free to do something like meet friends or go to the park, or have a break if they are at nursery. I don't think you'd be unreasonable to say it doesn't work for you anymore.

Her mum isn't speaking to her dad.

Is the issue

a) that you don’t want to go every day at all?
b) that you can’t go at 11am?

Because if you’re still happy to go, then it would seem like your dad could just swap the dog walker’s slot to earlier in the day e.g. 10am and then you go after nursery drop-off to let Rottie out for a pee and a fuss?

If you don’t want to go at all that is fine too, but your dad should pay for daycare. It’s not your dog.

Reads as if this was a dog which the family not just Dad agreed to but now as some members have moved on it doesn't get the care and attention it needs and deserves. Can the dog walker come early and you go later?

Dad has to get up half an hour earlier and give the dog some vigorous exercise (age appropriate) and then go to work.

Dog is left with a frozen king and other stimulating toys. TV left on for him etc.

Dog walker comes approximately three hours later. Dog given age appropriate vigorous exercise.

Dog has a nice sleep in the afternoon before dad comes home.

The dog has to be around 6/7/8 I’m guessing, so isn’t going to be bouncing off the walls.

Calming biscuits can be given twice a day and aren’t expensive.