Family dilemma!!!! Need advice!!!

[Mummmof2]

Hi all, I'm looking for your advice on a situation thats doesn't seem that much of a big deal but is causing me a lot of stress.

My mum and dad slip up last year, they have us 4 adult children and we all have our own small children, my dad remained in the family house and my mum and younger sister moved out to a new place, they don't speak at all anymore and 2 of my siblings don't speak to my dad either.

The family dog has remained with my dad, he is a rottweiler.

Ever since my mum ect moved out, myself and my older brother would take turns to go and help my dad with the dog, so he would leave for work at 5.30am and myself and brother would go around 7am and me at 11am to let the dog out and feed him.. I would do this twice a week and brother every morning at 7 am. My dad would also have a dog walker in around 2pm.

I moved last year to a new area around a 15 minute drive from my dads house, and since I moved ive still been helping by going at 11am but now my daughter aged 4 has a new nursery time table and doesn't start until 1pm.

To be honest it is a bit of a struggle to get to my dads house with my daughter, some mornings she just wants to relax or go out with me, its stressful that I cant commit to anything in my mornings with her with her because my dad expects me to help with the dog. I need to stay at his for around 30-40 mins with the dog.

I have told him I can't commit to it but am I being mean doing this, he keeps asking me to help with the dog even though I've voiced my concern a few times now.

My brother has moved a few hours away but he still has the dog walker who helps.

Please be kind I just need some advice!

I don’t speak to my ex but still share the dog!

Maybe but, as a parent, when you get a family pet, you're the one ultimately responsible. You're still responsible when your children lose interest or leave home. Unless this was decided by adults who agreed to a long term commitment, it's the parent's dog. If all the adults agreed responsibility for life, then maybe all the grown children could contribute to a pet minder to help with meeting the dog's needs.

But here you say she has been to yours dad’s 😐

To be honest it is a bit of a struggle to get to my dads house with my daughter, some mornings she just wants to relax or go out with me,

And yet two of his children have taken the decision to have absolutely nothing to do with him

Dad asks dog walker to come in mornings instead & you do afternoons while daughter is in nursery....If you want to still help

We had two dogs but took on our daughters dog a few years ago when she left home and she works and initially rented and has now moved over an hour away and the dog is not a breed we would ever have had.

My kid has lost interest in the guinea pigs but they are still my responsibility, so I care for them fully all their lives. When I got them I knew they were my ultimate responsibility.

It seems that you are a very negative person and seem to attempt to fault finding and project negative views on posts am I right? All I asked for was some advice and you seem to be doing the opposite? If you don't have anything nice to say please leave my post? Thankyou..

My daughter has obviously visited her grandads house before? But the dog was never around and who are you to judge about what kind of dogs rottweilers are when you've read one artical? All dogs have a steak in them and that's why I would never let my child be around one but what I'm taking about tending to the dog in the mornings!!

Sounds like you need to change your attitude!

@Oddieconvert

Could the dogwalker come at 11am and you do afternoons? Mind be a solution, but also not unreasonable to stop altogether if too much.

Thankyou all for your kind words of advice I really appreciate it! I will have a chat with my dad today and explain why I won't be able to manage it anymore.

The dog is your father's problem to sort out. Nobody else's. He can pay for daycare or find it a new home.

Thankyou guys, the family got the dog around 6 years ago, I had already moved out of the family home around 9 years ago so I didn't even have any part in getting the dog at all. He actually is a big gentle natured dog and has never as much as growled at anyone before but my issue was the responsibility I have to go and tend to him when I have my own responsibilities as it is and want to use my mornings wisely spending time with my daughter

With that further information, you had no responsibility for the care of this dog whatsoever. You've been very generous to help for so long.

Dogs don't need a wee that often, your dad should let him out in the morning then you could pop in after dropping dd off or the dog walker could go earlier.
My ddog has a wee before bed then doesn't go again until the morning.
I leave her in the house for up to 4 hrs and she doesn't have any accidents but I make sure she's been in the garden or for a walk before I leave her.
I have a dog flap but I shut it when I'm out as we have a lot of foxes here.

It's your dad's problem, not yours.

To le the easiest solution would be to move the dog walk to 11am, with you going in the afternoon before picking up your daughter.

Exactly