DD has started saying stuff and not screaming and it's heartbreaking !

[klungh]

My DD will be three in a few months... until now when she's screaming upset, she's mostly just been screaming. For the last few weeks, she's started actually saying what she's upset about during her screaming.

For example when she hurts herself she'll say ' I want my mummy ' ' I bumped my knee ' whilst crying/ screaming.

When she's upset in her room at bed time, she used to just scream. But now she scream / cries ' I want my mummy ' ' where's my mummy '...

I'm heartbroken. My poor girly ! It's so sad on another level to hear her say it.

Did anyone else find this really sad ? Sometimes I can't help but cry. I hide it, but it breaks me.

Why are you not responding to her?

I am confused, surely this is a good thing?

Of course I'm responding!!!

When your child shouts that they need you, then you go to them and comfort them. Is she calming when you do this or not?

Who says she isn't responding?

Yes she is happy when I comfort her.

My son does this and it has literally never broken my heart. I just go and give him a cuddle and leave again.

what an odd way to think of it. I'd be pleased that the child is communicating.

are there any special needs here that would reduce normal communication?

Why are you heartbroken she is saying how she feels ? I'm confused

I am pleased. I just find it heartbreaking, more now than when it was just screaming.

its not something I have experienced. Surely it’s no different, before you knew she had hurt her knee even if she couldn’t find the words. An upset child is an upset child no matter if they can articulate the reason why. Obviously there are times where I have found my children’s distress really upsetting eg significant injury, but I have had to put their needs before my emotions. There are some situations while I do empathise I am just thinking for fuck sake small child there is no need for this because you want your pink shoes to be blue even though you have blue shoes.

Yeah I found it a bit more upsetting.

Wait until she’s 16 and ignoring you.

Then you’ll be really crying.

How often is she screaming/ how long is she screaming for? I find it much easier to know what my children want now they can tell me.

I'm so confused. Why is this upsetting?

I just find it sadder than when she used to just scream. Hearing the words makes me really sad for her.

For example when dropping off at nursery etc.

Sometimes the intensity can really pull on your heart strings

Gotta admit this does make me feel a little bad for feeling annoyed when my son wakes up screaming for me. Like, just go to sleep and leave me alone in my lovely warm bath. Obviously I don't say this to him and comfort him every time, but can't lie and say it doesn't make my heart sink a little 😅

It really does. Whereas just screaming with no words isn't the same for me.

I'll get used to it I'm sure !

I totally get why it's upsetting for you - my heart would be exploding with emotion too.

Do you mean that it's saddening you that she's never been able to articulate herself before, @klungh? (As in, you wish she could have.)
If that's what it is, I totally understand - that moment when your child finally reaches a goalpost you never thought they would.
Otherwise, I have to confess I'm puzzled.

Yes I get you - for example dropping at nursery I found easier when it was just tears vs hearing my DD scream Mummmmyyyy I want my Mummmmmy as I walked back to the car. I used to cry myself when I got in the car!

It's a bit of that for sure, but also just hearing the words makes me feel for her even more than just generic screaming.

Yeah that's exactly what I mean. I'll get used to it. I'm so pleased she is starting to be able to express what she wants more.

@wibblewobbleball or ' Muummmy where you doing mummyyyh???' ' mummmy come back ' ' I want my mummy '