Parenting hypothetical children before becoming a parent

[Goingforplatinum]

Just light hearted but before having children how did you think you would parent compared to how you actually parent?

I always said I'll alway cook homcooked food, however my child will soon look like a chicken Nugget.

I was always going to stick to my guns and not give in..... reality of parenting - anything for a quiet life!!!

We weren't going yo have screen time till 2 and then only very limited. Reality is very, very different and I actually felt a bit ashamed this morning when my 2 year old named pretty much every character from every show on the full milkshake morning line up.

Definitely imagined more wooden educational toys and using of natural materials in play rather than the sea of plastic we have somehow still ended up with (all second hand though is what o tell myself!)

We were also going to be a lot more gender neutral, I hadn't anticipated quite so much pink. I do still balance it out with other colours but again, we benefit from lots of things passed on from friends and family and just take what we're given really and that tends to be pink.

My LO is only 18 months old so I'm sure things will change.

I said no puddings unless dinner was eaten... he gets pudding. I just need to know he's going to bed with something in his tummy, even if it is grapes!

Not much screen time. It's a regular part of our routine.

One thing I said I'll never do, and I really hope I don't go back on it, is take him trick or treating. I hate the thought of knocking on a stranger's door expecting food.

First child: there would be no dummies, breastfed, home made food at all times .
Reality : high needs baby, had a dummy til she was nearly 4, refused home made food and had an incredibly limited diet. Failed at breast feeding. Much guilt!

Second child only 13m later : I went into hospital with dummies and had no expectation of breast feeding (still feel guilty about that!) He never wanted a dummy but was a MUCH easier baby.

Gender neutral toys... DS1 was pointing a banana at me and shouting 'bang!' by 18m, so that was a bit pointless

Third child... all fed, all alive at the end of the day... good day! (Easiest baby and child of them all... she just slotted in )

Fourth child. Floppy, unable to feed, diagnosed with hypotonia, then global delay, then autism... anything goes.

I think my hypothetical parenting standards dropped child by child.
I wanted wooden toys, organic food and gentle parenting. The reality was 'whatever they would eat' plastic tat and a fair amount of shouting (with 4 to get out of the door in the morning it was pretty much unavoidable)

BUT they are all adults now, happy, confident , eating good diets. No one cares who was breastfed or had a dummy! There was a fair bit of very NON gentle parenting during their teens too, but we all survived and still love each other lots!

Hearing my friend who has two very sweet studious rather swotty quiet teen boys spout on about how she would parent my own and another’s friends rather “livelier” teen girls raises my blood pressure!

I was a fantastic parent before I had a child

I was never going to just say no, I’d always explain/given options etc. There aren’t many acceptable explanations you can give a screaming two year old who wants to play with a kitchen knife.

My child was not going to watch TV as a toddler and only eat homemade food, that did last for the first year but it’s impossible now I’ve gone back to work. (He loves Bluey too…) They would be EBF, well that didn’t work with a clueless mum and baby in the middle of pandemic.

I could go on and on. He seems a happy lad though and I know I am not repeating some of the darker parts of my childhood.