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Original poster

When did you start enjoying motherhood?

103 replies

frenchie4002 · 08/11/2022 17:56

I’m 3 weeks PP and in the thick of the newborn trenches. Obviously love my baby but keep thinking wtf have I done😂 when did you start to actually enjoy motherhood?

OP posts:
ahunf · 09/11/2022 06:58

I'll let you know (10 and 12 yr old dds here)

muddlingthrou · 09/11/2022 07:06

I remember wishing away the early weeks and finding it SO hard. It got a bit easier at 12 weeks, then suddenly she was 5 months and actually... fun! My DD is 8.5 months and I love being a mum more each day. The newborn days weren't at all enjoyable for me, it's much better when their little personalities come out and they're just happier most of the time.

astronewt · 09/11/2022 07:11

I fucking hated life at 4 weeks pp and thought a lot about adoption (while also knowing it wasn't a realistic option and I'd RUINED MY LIFE FOREVER).

Things were better by 12-16 weeks. Then got better again when I went back to work at 8 months. I enjoyed it a lot more then. Then my first turning 3 was a real turning point in terms of them developing both more independence and some fascinating complexity.

I'm really, really enjoying the current stage which is 4 and 7. The tiny baby days with my second were also much better.

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KitchenSupper · 09/11/2022 08:50

Totally agree that the second baby is enjoyable from the start, because you know what you are doing, do it a bit better and have very realistic expectations. In retrospect you realise that the stages are very short.

queenofthewild · 09/11/2022 09:21

There were bits of days I enjoyed, but I don't think any day since I became a parent has been entirely free of chaos or conflict. It got easier when I started existing in the moment and relying on my instincts rather than trying to be the parent books and magazines tried to persuade me to be.

crossstitchingnana · 09/11/2022 09:37

I loved it from a few hours in. BUT the first three weeks were hellish. I was on such a steep learning curve. I thought babies slept a lot ah ha haha ha ha ha!

I remember asking my mw if my baby's jaundice was the reason she didn't sleep well. No, jaundice was supposed to make them sleepy. The mw said a restless baby is a possible sign of intelligence. She was right.

Hang on in there and look for the positives. I loved holding my babies and saying "fuck it" to the housework. Just looking at their tiny hands and smelling their little, soft heads.

Mine are adults now, sometimes I dream of going back to those times and it's so bitter sweet.

dementedma · 09/11/2022 09:40

When they became older teens and adults

Toomanysleepycats · 09/11/2022 09:51

I have this theory that every first time mum had a special photo taken with her baby when it’s about six weeks old.

You can remember making a special effort, putting you and baby in nice clothes and checking for sick. You definitely brushed your hair for the occasion and may even have put on makeup. You thought the photo wasn’t too bad.

Years later you find the photo and all you can see is a mad woman staring back at you. You can see it in her eyes. She (you) had had practically no sleep or rest for six weeks and was running on empty. There’s a slightly crazy smile, which instead of saying “ look how happy I am and how beautiful my baby is, is really saying “I’ve been taken over by aliens and my baby has full mind control over me”

Bless you, these early days are just about surviving, enjoyment doesn’t come into it.

MrsFionaCharming · 09/11/2022 10:06

Mine is 6 weeks and we’re getting eye contact and the occasional smile which makes the whole thing so much better.

The first 3 weeks were actual sleep deprived hell where I thought I should have got a cat instead, then cried because I felt guilty for thinking it.

leafinthewind · 09/11/2022 10:08

When I went back to work after 9mths. Well... Actually I quite enjoyed the summer, so probably from about 7mths. But the thought of going back to work hung over me a bit, tbh. I enjoyed number 2 much more! (Helps that she slept!)

shinynewapple22 · 09/11/2022 10:16

Slight improvement at 8 weeks when I was advised to supplement breast with bottle and he actually slept for more than an hour at the time and stopped crying .

I remember up to 2, 2-and-half still being quite challenging but a 3 year old was lovely and has pretty much remained so (now 21).

Probably easier with just the one DC though .

JustWork · 09/11/2022 10:18

The first few weeks are the worst. It got better after a few months..by six months or so I loved it and every stage was.more enjoyable than the previous one. The newborn stage is the worst..it definitely gets easier.

chasingdays · 09/11/2022 10:18

Birth was DS. I was smitten but he was a unicorn baby

DD... Not there yet... she's almost 1!

Musomama1 · 09/11/2022 10:27

It's getting better now DS1 is nearing 3.5 years, still hard work with much naughtiness, but so much more independent, sleeps through - finally plays alone plus we can have nice conversations. I look and feel like myself again.

Having said that i do have a newborn who is constantly crying!!! Even so it feels different, I know things get better & I have one I can enjoy right now.

TokyoSushi · 09/11/2022 10:29

When they went to school. I honestly found the baby and toddler stage really hard. 9 & 11 now and they're brilliant!

bravelittletiger · 09/11/2022 10:38

About 12 weeks is when the shock of the newborn days starts to recede and they sleep better/can be put down for decent stretches/don't need to feed 24 hours a day/your body feels slightly more "normal". I adore my children and do find it fun but the newborn days are never my favourite part. It gets so much better when the hormones start to stabilise and your baby engages with you more.

Squirrelvillage · 09/11/2022 10:43

Honestly... when I went back to work when DC was six months. I enjoyed our time together so much more when it wasn't all day every day. No one enjoys anything 24/7!

Bumpsadaisie · 09/11/2022 10:47

Hm. I think it is more, hm, nuanced, than "enjoyment".

I enjoyed it last night - driving my teen DD and her friends back from an event and just listening to their youthful banter and sense of humour. I had been really grumpy all day - but they really lifted my mood. Plus - as taxi driver there was no requirement to engage or be sociable in any way, merely to drive the car and be otherwise unobtrusive.

I hated it this morning - and every morning - at 0630, trying to get kids out to school, making packed lunches, getting soaked dropping them off in the torrential rain ... by the time I am at my desk at 0830 I need a break already!

AriettyHomily · 09/11/2022 10:48

When I went back to work PT when DTs were 13 months, and then massively when they got to about three, and we had some real fun. I loved all the farm parks, playground type stuff. Miss those days now but really love just hanging out with them they are brilliant company at 11. I am just hoping we don't hit a massive awful teenager phase, although I can kind of see it coming.

RenegadeMrs · 09/11/2022 10:53

I remember the 'oh shit, what I have I done' moment so clearly.

I started enjoying it more when the baby was just a bit bigger and more robust. I was able to relax a bit more. I didn't love the baby stage, but toddlers are brilliant and actually baby no 2 was better because I wasn't as shell shocked and stressed.

Seebee · 10/11/2022 21:16

I remember pushing my child in the pram, aged 1.5, thinking “oh man, another 1.5 years before school nursery begins… a whole equivalent life time.” I really had to grit my teeth. I also heard so many people tell me to “appreciate this time, it goes so fast”. And now, that small child is bigger than me, and I know time flies, but that period really did go soooo slowly and was often so dull. Babyhood, while I recognised that it was very precious, was not my favourite time, to put ot mildly. Then again, I was so knackered, no sleep, breastfeeding, etc etc, it’s not really surprising I felt how I did: I was burnt out!

I hope, OP, you feel less alone knowing loads of us (or me, and others on this thread ;-) at least) feel just the way you are feeling. It gets loads better with time!

Mentalpiece · 27/11/2022 18:50

When they left home. ( Joking )

Livemenot · 30/01/2023 03:30

There are some women I know who say they enjoy baby/toddler years even though they’re hard, and go for a second child. However, I personally haven’t really enjoyed it much. My son is 2 years and 9 months now and it definitely got better, so I’m hoping I’ll ‘get it’ when he grows up a bit.

28January · 30/01/2023 04:24

With my boys the day I stopped breastfeeding. With dd from day 1 as I had it written on my notes that if anyone spoke to be about breastfeeding I would not be responsible for my actions and the midwives respected my choice.

slowquickstep · 30/01/2023 09:16

When they left home ! No honestly, don't put pressure on yourself, turn off SM and just go with the flow. Life with a baby is not like you see on insta etc Getting dressed anytime before midday is a medal place. Treasure the lovely moments because the god dam war like ones far out weigh them. You won't get everything right but as long as your little one is fed, clean and loved bugger all else matters. Eventually you will get a shower and be dressed before 9am but those days are far off at the moment. Sleep when the baby sleeps for the next few weeks, everything else can wait. x