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Original poster

Is it weird to buy a house next door to a friend?

36 replies

JauntyJinty · 08/11/2022 16:18

A house has come on the market recently that although not our absolute dream house would certainly work for us and ticks a lot of boxes. There are some things wrong with it such a weird layout and needing decorating throughout, but they aren't insurmountable and make it much more affordable than it would be if perfect. It's a lot more house than we've been looking at in the same area for the same price

Thing is the neighbours are existing friends - which part of me thinks is a really good thing! If there's a loud party or anything we'd be invited, handy for someone to feed the cats (would be reciprocal of course!), and we know they won’t be nightmare neighbours which is always a bit of a worry moving somewhere new.
Not sure if this matters but to avoid drip feeds - They were really close friends around 10 years ago, and life circumstances have meant we've drifted apart a bit - but no big falling out or anything like that. We still see each other a few times a year and it's always a good time on both sides (I think!)

I feel a bit odd about it as if I’d be moving in on their turf or something! We’re not even dead set on the house yet, I just noticed the for sale sign when I was dropping something around the other day and decided to have a look. But it’s a niggling though in my head, “we can’t buy right next to Bob and Sally, can we?” (fake names) – I might just be over thinking and need to give my head a wobble!

Anyone have any thoughts or been in a similar circumstance?

OP posts:
SalviaOfficinalis · 08/11/2022 16:20

If it was a house you’re interested in then I wouldn’t let that put you off.
Better the devil you know, as they say.

Blowyourowntrumpet · 08/11/2022 16:20

I'd hate it if any of my friends moved next door to me

Bumblebee413 · 08/11/2022 16:24

We grew up next to friends after they bought the house next door. It was absolutely fine and lovely for us as kids, but it's impossible to answer in some respects as you're completely different people and friends. It can work but it depends on who you all are as people and friends. A good question is how much you actually like the house and how you'd feel about it if they didn't live next door.

BobbyBobbyBobby · 08/11/2022 16:25

If you are intending to do it up it might evoke jealousy if your house and garden becomes ‘better’ than theirs.

LadyKenya · 08/11/2022 16:32

I personally would not wish to live next door to my friends, for a myriad of reasons.

IntrovertedPenguin · 08/11/2022 16:38

I wouldn't want to live next door to friends either.

You're already assuming they'll invite you to parties and feed your cats.

Sixpence1977 · 08/11/2022 16:39

We were looking and a house came up next door to a friend. She is nice but garden has low fences and I was a bit worried I wouldn’t be able to ever get away from her if that makes sense. But then how would she have felt if I had stuck up high fences straight away.

Alertthecorgis · 08/11/2022 16:43

If I liked the house, I’d buy it but I would be aware that you might not be close friends with your friends as it sounds like you’ve drifted.

mast0650 · 08/11/2022 16:44

I think this would be lovely! Provided you were confident in the friendship. However, you might want to have a pre-chat along the lines of " don't worry, we won't be around all the time or expect you to do XYZ".

Forestflies1972 · 08/11/2022 17:07

It sounds lovely but the reality is far from it. Friends moved in next door to us ans it quickly became a nightmare. I just couldn't relax in my own home, constantly having to chat on the door step, in the morning, over hearing conversations in the back garden, having to argue in a whisper, DC (who were also friends) not able to have other friends around without including next dooe. It was suffocating. Thankfully they moved out after 18 months. No cross words or anything like that and were still friends now but it was very difficult and if they hadn't have moved then we would.

Enko · 08/11/2022 17:13

My best friends parents bought the house next to their best friends
30 years later they bought a retirement flat and 3 months later their best friends bought one in same.building

So yes can work.

Greenfinch7 · 08/11/2022 18:03

I would love to live next door to friends! I would just take it slowly to see where the friendship naturally goes, whether you get closer or whether you stay more was friendly neighbours- either would be great!

TinaYouFatLard · 08/11/2022 19:25

I would feel suffocated if friends moved next door.

Blondeshavemorefun · 08/11/2022 19:28

I wouldn’t like right next door. Same street maybe

MyLovelyPen · 08/11/2022 19:31

Tricky. I adore my friends but it could be very difficult if you (and them) always feel obligated to invite each other to parties etc. Unless it’s your absolute dream home I’d look elsewhere 😍.

AgathaX · 08/11/2022 19:34

I really wouldn't like it. It doesn't sound like your friendship is close enough to make it work.

Coffeepot72 · 08/11/2022 19:35

It sounds lovely but the reality is far from it. Friends moved in next door to us ans it quickly became a nightmare. I just couldn't relax in my own home, constantly having to chat on the door step, in the morning, over hearing conversations in the back garden, having to argue in a whisper, DC (who were also friends) not able to have other friends around without including next dooe. It was suffocating. Thankfully they moved out after 18 months. No cross words or anything like that and were still friends now but it was very difficult and if they hadn't have moved then we would.

I could imagine feeling like this

chisum · 09/11/2022 09:07

We lived next door to friends for years when the children were little. It was wonderful. Still very close

LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 09/11/2022 09:11

Mum and her best friend moved into adjoining new builds and supported each other throughout their widowhood until Friends dementia got too much. It was brilliant and is a #lifegoal for me. However, I can see it might get a bit much for a whole family.

Buteverythingsfine · 09/11/2022 09:13

I wouldn't let it put me off making an offer on the house if you really want it, but I think you'd have to go in with the attitude that you may not continue to be friends and that you would have low/no expectations of that. It sounds like the friendship is a bit on the wane anyway so being friendly on the doorstep would be fine, but you'd have to be very sensitive that they might not want to hang out, feed the cat or indeed have you over for parties. If you can cope knowing that it's irrelevant to your time in that house, go for it, if that's a 'bonus' for moving there, don't.

BrilliantGreenFlamingo · 09/11/2022 09:16

I’d love it!

CatsEatDogs · 09/11/2022 09:17

I must say I’d hate it if a friend moved in next door. No matter how close you think you are, you have dynamics that work where you live now. Living next door would change that and put new pressures on the friendship.

Pharos · 09/11/2022 09:28

Very good friends of ours moved next door, it’s been great. We’re not in each other’s pockets, see each other as often as before, not more, and have someone as backup that we really trust.

MoveMore · 09/11/2022 10:11

I’d hate it. I want to be able to shut off completely from all my outside relationships when I’m at home. I’d feel uncomfortable in my garden or if the children were shouting and feel like our comings and goings were being watched. I realise this is my own paranoia and likely they couldn’t give monkeys about my day to day life. I wouldn’t like it. You might have different personality to me and not be bothered by the above. What about your friend though?

Original poster
JauntyJinty · 09/11/2022 10:19

Hmm, a bit of a mixture but over all I think the tone has confirmed my "it's weird" feeling! A few things have been raised I hadn't thought of.

Like I thought about happening to be leaving/arriving at the same time and thought a cheery "hi ya" and keep walkig would be fine - but hadn't thought about summer if we both want to just seperatly enjoy our gardens. Even though the fences are high I think that might feel weird!

As I said in my OP it wasn't the dream home anyway - more of a sensible choice, so we'll knock it off the list.

Thanks for the help :)

OP posts:
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