Lottery win (not a bad amount).

[winningballs]

Name changed for this.

I have been thinking about asking this and I have spoken to f&f about it and the opinions vary.

Last Wednesday I got an urge to do the lottery, I haven't done it in ages because I just can't afford it, but I got a lucky dip and lucky it was, I got 5 matching balls plus the bonus. I won't say how much I won but it's a fair amount, enough for me to not worry about bills for the foreseeable and enough to give people 10k each.

Here's my question.

I have a list of whom I would share my winnings with stored on my phone, it's been on there for years and my ex is on there. We have been split for a year or so but I always said I would give him something if I won. I don't hate him and I really liked his children, so should I just transfer some into his account? This is not a plan to get him back as I am happily with someone else now and he has no problem with my list as he is well taken care of too.

Should I - or should I not bother?

I have a plan for if I am ever lucky enough to be in your position. I would instruct a local lawyer to make all the payments with a letter stating that it's an anonymous gift from a friend who is making a series of gifts.

Then if it ever comes up I would say that I too received an anonymous gift.

Then nobody would ever know I won the lottery.

Lovely decision to have to think through! As has been said, imo think you should sit on it for several months and think. From watching tv (not ime!), suddenly having even a medium extra amount of money is quite a responsibility and when it changes the lives of others, even if it is only a few thousand, the way people change seems to be the one thing that can sour relationships with those around you. Congratulations enjoy deciding.

So op has name changed but you still know who she is and that she's a journalist fishing for stories? Right.

@winningballs do you see the ex? Is he a mate? Did he do anything in particular when yo u were together that changed your life for better? Wy did you split?

I'm inclined to say unless it's yes to lots of that, no. Let it go. 1M isn't that much in real terms, so give to the people who are in your life and make it happier

Are you prepared to lose any friends or acquaintances who you don't give the same amount of money too?

If you've left anyone out (the girl you were friends with at school, the bridesmaid you lost touch with/someone you were a bridesmaid for you haven't seen in years) they will feel personally slighted.

I think you would be better putting it away untouched until after Christmas once you've cleared any & all debt you might have.
Give yourself some time to think.

If any of the people you are planning to gift are on benefits, you could totally mess up their claims by the way & may make their lives much harder.

Gifting money is not actually as simple as you might think.
Paying large unexpected & unusual sums over £5000 into peoples bank accounts can (not always) trigger money laundering investigations.

You don't think it's strange that this person qualifies for 10k?

I don't hate him and I really liked his children

Really? 😂

On a previous AMA thread, I politely asked for redacted evidence but was shot done for my cynicism. So I won't.😁

I wouldn’t be telling people that I won the lottery.
It creates so much stress

I kind of get that but I assume you must be pretty well off already? If I suddenly brought my own house, got a, car and booked a nice holiday it would be obvious I'd come into wealth. Even the 100K my mates promised if she ever wins big wouldn't cover all that 😂😂.

Assuming you won around a million (or more), then I wouldn’t advise telling anyone let alone your ex. I have that amount from inheritance rather than a lottery win and no one knows about it other than my DH.

People will treat you differently when they know you have a lot of money, plus there is the obvious security risk if word gets around (and it will). In this financial climate I would think long and hard about sharing this news with anyone.

All of this.
And seriously, beware, people get really weird when money is involved. No good deed goes unpunished and all that, is real.

So you give the ex £10k because you liked his children. He buys the kids some ‘luxury’ items.

kids boast to their mum that daddy has bought them expensive stuff.

Mum demands more maintenance.

If you do give him some, make sure he knows about it. If you just transfer it, the bank might ask him questions; and if he doesn't know where it came from he could be in trouble.

I'd keep it all & not tell anybody.
A decent house in a nice area will at least halve that.

You are a nice person OP but as some here are already warning you, you risk being taken advantage of. I remember a true story of many years ago when a big winner (of the ‘pools’ I think) let everyone know about their win and gave some money away. They were pestered and pestered with ‘begging’ letters telling all sorts of sob stories which must have been upsetting, stressful and hard to ignore if you are a kind person by nature. I agree you should sit on this and reflect over a period of months before deciding what to do. You are very lucky so now make the most of that luck for you and your children as it is a once-in-a-lifetime bit of luck. Congratulations.

This. Why on earth would you?

Give the £10k to someone who actually matters to you, who is in your life right now.

"I don't hate him" isn't a good reason to give someone £10k.

Hi OP, firstly congratulations on your win. You sound like a lovely generous person wanting to help your nearest and dearest. Unfortunately we don’t live in an ideal world and money changes people. Please just look to get some financial advice first to ensure that you will be set up for life. Then look at how you can help others. Just be mindful that it is difficult for people to keep a secret, could you help them anonymously? Transfer the money to them from an account they wouldn’t recognise maybe. People will get jealous it is human nature and however much you want to celebrate and share your win with people please don’t. You can always share your win by giving to charities or local food banks for example. My ‘list’ of should I win has always been in my head of who I would want to help should I ever win but since falling ill and having had to give up work after 20 years my outlook on life has changed so much as I have seen people go from my life because I have become that ‘ill’ person whose life is dictated by my illness. I have seen another side to people at my time of need. You think you know people in good times but it isn’t until you have a life changing event that you see the reality of people. Help anonymously if you must and only those in need. Congratulations on your win OP, spoil yourself first!!! 😁

Why do you need to give him 10K? Can’t you just send over 1K and say treat the kids or something. No clue why you feel you need to send such a big amount. Are you sending 10K to everyone on the list?

I wouldn't, if I'm honest. Get yourself set up for the future first: investments, property, a chunk into pension funds. Depending on where you live in the country, that might not actually leave you that much left over - then you can decide if you want to help people. But an ex would not be high on my list: people get weird about money, even if you think they won't. And if I won tens of millions I might be inclined to help a big list of people, but for 1m I wouldn't.

Surely the list isn’t static and just because you haven’t updated it for a while, it doesn’t mean you have to stick to it. You’d change a will over time if relationships ended or changed. I’m not really following…

Anyway, congrats. 🙂

I wouldn't do anything at all for a number of months unless one of your family is on the breadline. You need to reflect on your 'list of people' - circumstances change

£1m is a lovely amount of money but can be easily spent ............... a house, holidays, gifts to friends etc.

Anyone who wins over £500k gets financial advice from the lottery don't they?

Personally anyone who is an 'ex' would not be getting any of my money but I don't know you or him or his kids - it's pointless asking this kind of question on this forum. If it's his DC you like, you could set up a trust or ISA for them.

If you give anyone £10k be wary of the tax implications.

www.money.co.uk/guides/how-do-i-gift-money-without-being-taxed

I wouldn't, personally. Maybe sit on it for a year and see how you feel then. The temptation is probably to use it immediately but it'd probably be better to sit on it until the initial shock has worn off. I know inflation is rampant but your million isn't going to diminish by that much.

Now you've got me speculating what I'd do. Probably freeze, panic, buy my fashion wish list, try to figure out how to be a good friend/family member without making all my relationships weird and unequal by introducing this benefactor dynamic.

Oh, and congratulations! What a windfall!

I wonder how many PMs OP has had since posting this?

Do ensure you keep enough for you and your children though: even a £1m pensiom pot doesn't buy a fancy retirement these days. At all

this. A million today really isn't alot and I say that as somebody on illness benefits, you must be careful with it. I'd carefully invest it and not be giving any sums away really. We are living longer and prices are going up.