Shift workers - what the Jeff do you do about childcare??

[MooChops89]

With the exception of family help of course. We've been lucky up til now if not in a bit of a precarious situation, MIL has done most of our childcare for which we're extremely grateful as she's not the most agile (but she insists it's not too much for her). My mum sometimes helps out but she still works and her shifts are all over the place.

FIL recently fell ill and is still in hospital so of course MIL doesn't want to commit herself to looking after the kids in case she has to rush to the hospital.

This week my mum has had to cover for someone full time at short notice so I'm really stuck and might have to take some days unpaid.

I'm a midwife and I work long shifts, including nights, different each week with no set pattern. DH has just got a new job, 9-5.30

Have a reception age DD and a 2yo DS. Have been looking today at nurseries for DS but the very few that offer flexible places are full until at least the new year.

What on earth do people do??

Our old childminder did till 8pm and weekends.. Worth a look?

I’m going onto night shifts soon, DD will be going to nursery on the day after my weekday nights so I can sleep and then DS will be going to breakfast club at school from 8am, DP will have the kids when I’m working weekend nights.
I have put in a flexible working request so will be working set shifts.

I do set days, so I can book in childcare then my husband works 8-4 so drops off and picks up. I only work two week days as such so two full days at the childminder then Friday night shift and every other Saturday so don't need childcare as my husband is around.

Maybe ask your management if you can do set days as a family friendly roster, as it's NHS they have to at least consider it when you've worked there for a year I think it is?

There's a 24hr childcare company near me that takes kids up to age 14 designed especially for shift workers. Kids go to the big house to sleep over, which is like a nursery but also set up for older children too.

Alternatively, I guess people maybe have overnight nannies? Must come at a high cost though especially if it's not a predictable shift pattern, and you would need a spare room for them.

DH does drop off pick-up when your shift patterns don't fit. If he's 9-5.30 not sure what the issue is?

But yes it's really shit, especially for those single parents, and same the world over unless you can afford and have space for a live-in nanny.

When I worked shifts with no pattern to my roster at all - plan was to have Full time nursery for dc1 then childminder for dc2 who also could do school run and after school care for dc2 when they reached primary age.

But I did a flexible working request for fixed days off instead so we only needed childcare 3 days a week - saved us a fortune.

With the above, the childcare was based around DOs 9-5.40 working hours, he did all drop off and pick ups on days I worked.

Breakfast and after school club which DH did the drop off and pick ups for. Then we had a nursery and I had set days with some flexibility. Have you spoken to your work? How many days do you work?

I actually found it more difficult when they started school due to the less amount of hours they’re there.

If DH is working a predictable 9-5:30, he needs to step up and do drop-offs and collection. Surely if only one of you works shifts it’s not a problem?

DH was the one doing shifts so some days I (9-5 job) had to do both drop off and pick up. Can’t your DH do that?

Husband drops off at childminder 8.30 - 6 for 2 year old. School age to breakfast and after school club. Ask your manager for set shifts ? I'm a nurse we have people on set shifts.

Teacher here . DH shift worker.... we pay for days we don't need unfortunately it's shit. Only way to guarantee we got childcare. DH is under strict instructions to sort the house/ batch cook if he's off with child in nursery.

This. I’m actually a bit confused about what the problem is. You need to find a nursery that is open M-F, 8-6. The default is that your DH will bring them. When you have days off, you can sometimes bring them in later or pick them up earlier, if you’d like to. But don’t forget - shift work, especially nights, take a massive toll on the body, so you need rest time too.

All of my female friends who are nurses who do night shifts - their DHs are the “default parent”. The women still carry most of the mental load and tend to be the ones who take time off when the DCs are unwell, so ou actually ends up being a pretty 50/50 parental set up.

In your situation I'd try to get a childminder who drops off/picks up at your oldest's school and base it on your husband's shifts so hours that he can drop them both off and pick them both up. Then if any days I was available I'd do drop offs and pickups and possibly not use those days if I was totally off work (though will have to pay for them).

Unfortunately you have to pay for some nursery days you won’t use which is annoying, but you are lucky as you have DH working a normal work pattern so there’s no
actual issue other than the annoying money factor. I use to have 3 days booked permanently and then book the other 2 ad hoc with nursery and saved a little that way.

You need to get a full time place in a crèche. I know it sucks because you probably only actually need a place for 2 or 3 weekdays but they can't offer flexible days due to staff ratios.

Alternatively, could you ask for set days at work? I'm a nurse and work the same type of shifts as you. I'm lucky to have family childcare but I have colleagues with children in crèche who have the same 2 days off every week so they only need a part-time crèche place for the other 3 days. My manager is pretty flexible like that for staff with young families, especially if they've been working there a long time.

My kids will be going to a nursery that's an hour round trip away as they work around shifts and don't force you to pay for the same days every week. My DP is an emergency service worker on days and nights 13hr shifts and I work long hours but will have to finish early on days I need to collect them as they close at 6pm :(

Our main problem is they don't open until 8am, or 7:30am if you pay an extra £4 but really we need 7am at the latest and can't find anyone that can do that. Dreading my maternity leave ending as we're really going to struggle with the childcare. If I could work from home it would be fine but I will have to fight my way onto a train into the city at rush hour. I used to set off at 5:30am but the kids have ruined that routine 😣

I don't really get why your DH can't do the pick ups and drop offs, however would having an au pair be a solution for you? You'd need a spare bedroom though.

I don’t understand the problem. Your DH has a predictable schedule. You arrange child care during the weekday m-f and then he covers the evenings and weekends.

As a stop gap, you take a FT nursery place. Then you keep looking for a childminder or nursery who will accomadate shifts - more likely to be a childminder round here.

Is it because you’re thinking about the days you are at home and don’t need childcare? Thats always a difficult one. With our first DC we did a lot of juggling and found a CM who accepted a set fee a month for slightly different days. With our second DC we just paid for almost full time care as we were slowly breaking DH fitting in too much childcare around night shifts etc

I'm assuming that it's because they'd need to take a full time nursery place when they don't necessarily need childcare Monday to Friday as OP may be off during the week some dyas. But that's probably the best option for ensuring you have childcare OP.

The only people I know who are shiftworkers and have flexible childcare have childminders.

We have a 22month old. Keen to read how other people manage! We don't have any family help at all. I do 10 12hr shifts/month which is about 30hrs a week. My husband is fulltime 0830-1800 Mon to Fri, he has compressed his hours so he can take 2 days off per month for childcare. I'm on a four week rolling rota which is flexibleish but not much. Eg.
Week 1 Mon (day) Tues/wed (night) or Wed day
Week 2 Fri, Sat, Sun (nights)
Week 3 Sat, Sun (Day)
Week 4 Tues, Wed, Thurs (night). Can also do Wednesday day week 2 or 3
Our daughter is in nursery every Wed and Friday. We usually end up getting a babysitter one morning a month for me to sleep after a nightshift. When I'm off and baby at nursery I batch cook meals for the next 2 weeks. It works pretty smoothly childcare-wise but have to say life enjoyment a bit on the low side at times. Have requested to come off one of my weekends so we have more time off at the same time.

I'd ask work if they can set your shifts for the short term (you may need to put in a flexible working request).

Otherwise, I'd book nursery Tuesday-Thursday, most nurseries have ad hoc spaces on a Monday/Friday that you can book when you need.

Sorry, yes - not ideal to be paying for 5 days when some weeks I may only need one! Although if I absolutely have to, I suppose I might as well use the space on my days off too as lord knows I've got enough to do around the house!

That's £1000 a month that we don't have though 😭

I've recently gone full time, although 2 of those are long shifts or nights and 2 are slightly more flexible office days (although there was a promise for wfh which doesn't actually seem possible now I've started the role which is annoying).

Have asked for my office days to be set, but otherwise I think we're too short staffed to accommodate setting my other shifts - last time I asked they said it's a 3 month contract then they review it, and if it's not meeting the needs of the service they'll take it back off me so I didn't bother.