Shift workers - what the Jeff do you do about childcare??

[MooChops89]

With the exception of family help of course. We've been lucky up til now if not in a bit of a precarious situation, MIL has done most of our childcare for which we're extremely grateful as she's not the most agile (but she insists it's not too much for her). My mum sometimes helps out but she still works and her shifts are all over the place.

FIL recently fell ill and is still in hospital so of course MIL doesn't want to commit herself to looking after the kids in case she has to rush to the hospital.

This week my mum has had to cover for someone full time at short notice so I'm really stuck and might have to take some days unpaid.

I'm a midwife and I work long shifts, including nights, different each week with no set pattern. DH has just got a new job, 9-5.30

Have a reception age DD and a 2yo DS. Have been looking today at nurseries for DS but the very few that offer flexible places are full until at least the new year.

What on earth do people do??

Have asked on the local childminders group on FB and tried the Council website but nobody seems to have any space

If take the three months. They're crying out for midwives , I bet they'd rather that than you left.

I suppose its worth trying. Need to actually find some childcare with space first! Plus my shifts are scheduled now until mid Jan so it won't take effect until after that.

I'm glad I posted, sounds stupid but I actually hadn't considered DH doing drop off and pick up, DD would have to stay for after school club and DS in either nursery or childminder, whatever we can get.

You've all helped me organise my thoughts 😂

This. Don’t get into the mindset you need to solve this. He needs to be doing pick ups and drop offs as well, especially if he does 9-5

I'm a midwife and have been a single mum more than once. I've been having childcare woes for over 20 years now. My kids are 20, 9 and 7. With the younger 2 I had a nanny and worked 2 set long days per week after agreeing it with my trust. I was the first person to get that agreement and nearly fell off my chair when they agreed. I did that for 3 years until my youngest started school and I moved trusts (my old trust wouldn't accommodate my request, which given what they had done previously to retain me seemed crazy... but their you go!). I then switched to community doing 3 days, but not set days. I now pay for full time wraparound for them both. I could probably ask for set days, or at least 2 set days in the week off, but to be honest the wraparound isn't too bad and it is nice to have flexibility still. So I suck it up.
But yes, paying for FT care you don't need is what most do. My old trust allowed us to have 2 set days in the week off as your requests so you only needed to pay for 3 days care. I think that sounds like your best option perhaps?

I should have added they agreed to it when my ex left whilst I was pregnant. I had no way of returning to work without a nanny, and couldn't afford to pay a nanny for 5 days a week. Would have been more than I earned! I had no family support whatsoever and my ex totally abandoned us. It was career over, or they supported me to maintain my career until they were at least of school age. Luckily for me, they did. The head of midwifery had been a single parent so she understood.

XH and I both worked police shifts for a while. It was a bit of a nightmare tbh. Our after school club allowed us to book specific days a half term at a time, which we could do because our rotas were four weekly. We called in favours from our mums, or children’s friends parents when that didn’t work. But ultimately, it was all a bit of a headache.

Nursery and paying for days we didn’t need because all the nurseries round here only do set days, then breakfast club and after-school club when they started school. DH dropped them off, went to work, then collected them. DC1 is 11, and working set shifts was not a thing then, but quite a few people do them now. DH died last year, so I now do less hours and set shifts with my parents and in-laws helping. At some point I am likely to be in a similar position to you with added complications, as my FIL is often ill and has frequent short stays in hospital.

I specifically chose the one nursery in our town that you could add a day or cancel a day, and as long as you gave a weeks notice you didn't pay. I know that's unusual, but maybe if you look in depth at the nurseries available to you you'll find one that's flexible like that?

But agree with PP - default is DH doing drop offs and pick ups, and you doing them ad hoc as your shifts and sleep allows.

Another who doesn't really see what the issue is, as your dh works "normal" hours on set days.
From the title, I presumed you were either a single parent, or you both did odd shifts.

We used the NHS nursery! We had fixed days but you could get adhoc places as well.

Your DH works standard hours, so book full time childcare based on those, and he does majority pick ups/drop offs/has them when you’re working, surely?

I've looked after NHS staffs children as a childminder parent paid a minimum of 3 days a week I was happy to have quiet days so I could focus on the other 2. You can access all the same support as a nursery takes. ..tax free, vouchers, 2 and 3 year funding childminders just tend to be more flexible