Reasons for choosing private vs state school

[Angelinabalerina12]

Can I ask what were your reasons for choosing private primary as opposed to a state school?

I'm a teacher in private and would say it's the smaller class sizes that's a big selling point. Where I had 32/33 in state primary I now have 12 ish, with a maximum of 18. It means you really do get to know the children so well. With the best will in the world you can't get round 30 children in a lesson.

Also we have the freedom to teach what content we want without having to work to exams such as SATS which means students get many more hours of music (specialist taught) PE (specialist taught) languages (specialist taught) which in state always went out the window at the expense of English and maths.

Behaviour is by and large much better in private (not always). I very rarely have to administer sanctions compared to in state. Pupils are much much more polite.

We aren't well off by any means but having taught in private my DH and I will be making lots of sacrifices to send our DD private when she reaches school age.

The schools in my catchment are oversubscribed and none appealed to us anyway.
In the private system you can choose whatever school best fits your DC needs.

Holidays are long & we can take DC out in term time without permission which is necessary for us sometimes.

Smaller class sizes are a plus. Not so much with secondary aged children but definitely in primary.

@minimini358 its usual for staff to have heavily discounted fees. Bit of a sore topic at our school that it’s actually a 75% deduction!

It's nicer for the parents. Private schools, especially traditional prep boarding schools, come with a social life for parents attached. There are leisure facilities, tennis classes, golf tournaments, choirs, fancy summer balls, match teas. It's convenient with wrap around care and option for dc to board means parents can travel for work. Networking opportunities for parents.

For us it was a few things;

1. Much smaller class sizes in the early years
2. Much better provision for things like music and sport
3. On site facilities for swimming and sport training
4. Other extra curricular like debating, choir, music ensembles
5. Specialist teachers for sport, music, languages, STEAM

And finally, being in the school guaranteed a place for high school (it’s a school that goes from Kindy -12) and our local high school options are dire. I also do love the longer holidays as we live in Sydney and our family are in the U.K. and we can travel back twice a year if we want to without missing school.

The longer days but shorter terms. The range of opportunities available, proper teaching not behaviour management or teaching just to a test.

My quiet, shy DC didn't get shoved to the back while all the resources, (including teachers), were lavished on the badly behaved kids and the half of the class whose parents didn't give a fuck or whose parents were always "marching down the school" to rant about their kid having to do homework/wear uniform/do detention/turn up on time " . (That's what happened in the comp).

Kids looked after the facilities better. (Worse facilities as less money - it wasn't a rich school - but the kids didn't wreck them).

Happier kids. Not bullied, stolen from, jeered at or left out.

Our village school was a faith school, we wouldn't have met their criteria. And all the schools in the surrounding villages, except one tiny one. So we'd have had to travel to get to whatever we were allocated which still would have been a faith school but an undersubscribed ie probably not good one. Blow that for a game of soldiers. Fortunately there was an excellent (and not extortionate) private primary, and then there were sensible state school options for secondary.

Small classes
Wrap around care
Lack of state secondary locally, so made sense to get into the private system earlier - better prep for entrance exams
Extra curricular options

DD is now at independent secondary and we have no doubt we made the right choice. She outgrew it towards the end (not helped by Covid) but it was absolutely the best option given that she started there at the age of 3. Small nurturing classes, and then as she got older, more opportunities to do extra curricular stuff (quizzes with other schools, lots of sport, Young Enterprise or whatever it is nowadays). Don't regret it for a second.

Small classes. DD is in yr1 and is in a class of 12 (vs. 30 in our local state school).

The higher adult : child ratio, plus varied extra curriculars (from choir, to darma, to sport, to karate, to flower arranging) suit DD well.

All in all, I just want to give her the best opportunities I can, and her current school is the best match for the needs of our family.

As dh and I work ft, we needed the wrap around care and a school that was responsive to the needs of working parents and not the other way round. I honestly could not have continued to work ft if I had to scrounge around for after school slots or have to jostle for attention for my dcs.

And it came with all the other benefits mentioned on this thread. We paid and got the service. Once we decided we wanted private school, I hitched my career trajectory accordingly and chased higher paying jobs.

We needed our kids in the prep school to have a higher chance of getting into the local grammar. The feeder school of the other primary schools have a 23% exam pass rate of pupils scoring at least one grade 5 at gcse. The other school has a 100% exam pass rate of all gcse and A levels and have done so for a long time. I could list other reasons, but I think that’s enough

I had the choice of two state schools or a small non-selective independent.

1, One state school was chaotic and has since been put in special measures with Ofsted saying younger children were at risk of sexual abuse by older pupils, and the other having poor exam results.
2.DS has a 'maths head' and the state maths departments were dire. Only 41% boys pass rate at GCSE, whereas independent had 100% pass rate every year.

3.DS did open days at all and preferred the independent.
4.DS was offered an academic scholarship
5.Small class sizes, little to no bullying, good facilities, good quality but not bling.
6.As a single mum, if I need to travel for work, DS can spend the occasional night in the boarding house, so provides me with backup too. I finally feel like I have some help I can rely on.

Basically this in buckets

Smaller class size of 20.
The school goes right through to senior school so no stress of 7 or 11 plus (local state not really good enough standard but we love living where we do).
DS has showed early aptitude for maths and we wanted him to be challenged (though he's in Yr 1 now and so far the private school hasn't really done that).
Local primaries don't wear uniform, I wanted a more formal atmosphere for him.
He's an only child, so we don't have to worry about treating a sibling equally, and we're lucky to be able to afford the fees without it stretching us too much.
I wanted him to be happy at school, with lots of chance to do drama, sport, music, nice facilities.
I was bullied at my school for being bright, felt a selective school would mean that was less likely for him (though how they can really select at age 3.5 I have no idea!)
I am not remotely interested in the social opportunities for parents that were mentioned above. My son's school isn't on that level anyway, but we're older parents with busy jobs and an established social life already. We do some school social stuff to be polite and make sure our son has play dates etc, but to be honest it's a bit of a pain.

Thank you for all your replies x

Have any of your kids started Reception at a state school then joined a private at a later stage I.e. y3? How did they adjust?

I have my eye on a wonderful private prep but they start French from Reception for instance, whereas DD won't be doing any. Would she struggle in Y3? Do we need to get her up to speed with additional private lessons?

DD only started Reception this Sept but I'm already having doubts about the school: 30 kids in the class, kids with consistely good behaviour rarely get noticed or praised, school doesn't do languages or music, staffing issues and the list goes on.

Mine went/are going to state primaries but go to/will go to private secondaries.

Better behaviour was probably my number one reason.
Smaller class sizes.
Lots of sports and extra curricular clubs.

Mostly I felt mine would be happier and have a nicer experience in their private schools compared to our local comp.

No you won’t need to get her up to speed. It’s just fun at that age.

I didn't choose private at primary but in hindsight I think it would have been best to move for about y4 or y5. A bright and able DC will often be bored out of their skulls and get switched off from learning in a lot of state schools - obviously the best ones will do a lot to stretch the more able but there are insurmountable limits of funding and time that mean this will usually not be enough.

I don't think private is necessary or appropriate for YR-Y2 unless your main motivation is to socially segregate your child away from knowing poorer people or to hothouse your child. If these aren't your goals then state till at least 8 is fine. The first few years should be mainly about learning through play, developing natural curiosity and nurturing a love of reading. Research has shown that the vast majority of the outcomes for these early years are based much more on the engagement and enthusiasm of each child's parents, and the number of books they have at home, and time spent reading for pleasure outside of school hours, and children who have these factors strong will thrive even at the worst state school, whereas those who don't have them won't do as well as they should no matter what school they are at.

This pretty much sums it up perfectly.

All subjects taught by specialists - drama, dance (jazz/ballet), PE, languages are all parts of curriculum and timetabled in weekly.

There is absolutely no tolerance for bad behaviour (including low level disruption). This means no time is wasted tackling poor behaviour. Friend in local state had their child being assaulted by another in class for weeks before school did anything about it - all emails to school went unanswered, teacher didn't appear to care. They escalated to head and only when spoke in person, they actually acted. It is very reassuring to know that any important emails sent to school are responded with that level of urgency.

Don't worry about catching up - the school will guide you if she does need any help but they are usually very open to all communication

2 DC - both started in state and move to private @ Y3.

Lures were: Small class sizes - enabling the school to identify and tailor the level both DCs were at / their strengths and weaknesses at core subjects. Wrap around to 6pm + extra curricular options. General facilities and outdoor space.

No catching up was needed. They quickly were brought up to speed in things like languages and sport they hadn't done much of before. Beauty of small classes and (some) specialist teachers meant that in French (e.g.) their not having done it before could be catered for.

We have 3 schools in our catchment and they were all over subscribed. we started off in a local primary but when his head teacher described him to us as 'A little wierd' in conjunction with some other responses we felt unhappy with we were unimpressed. As it happens he has a number of learning issues and the private school have been able to address all his needs with grace, professionalism and warmth without resorting to calling him names. He has his moments but he is generally thriving.

Personally I would love to send my dc private for the extra extension on subjects, extracurriculars, music, public speaking & sports

We moved from state primary to a private prep. Our reasons were:

• at state primary the teacher only taught new information to the bottom half of the class. Bright kids were ticked off the list at the beginning of the year as ‘already at expected standard’ and then given colouring-in to do. Literally. Even at age 8.

• DC are well behaved, well brought up, polite ‘geeky’ kids with zero interest in football, and they had nothing in common with the kids at our local primary where everyone was from a particular background. (There is much more diversity at prep.)

• 1/3 of the state primary pupils had special needs and they took all of the teacher’s energy.

Didn’t care about facilities, sports, clubs, networking etc.

Having moved, it is awesome. DC so much happier. It’s sad but the main difference however is that the teachers at our prep school are happy. For a primary age child, having a smiling enthusiastic well-paid well-resourced teacher and her two assistants bounce into the room and say “Hey guys, let’s play!” is everything. Especially compared to our depressed state-school teacher who had zero resources/funding/assistants and was open about the fact that she couldn’t find another job and was counting the years to retirement.

I am so sad for the children we left behind, they deserve so much more than they are getting.

I moved my daughter from state infants school to Indie in year 3. She is now yr 11 (school runs from nursery to 6th form on various sites).

I don't regret the decision at all.

Yes, she had to make new friends but she stayed in touch with quite a few of the old ones. She also did swimming and dance classes which we kept on until we ended up with too many clashes. This did help take the urgency to find a "best friend" on day 1.

Schools do vary a lot, but her school doubles in size at yr3 and again at yr7. Mid-year admissions are common too as we are a Uni town, popular with Londoners relocating. Newcomers are positively welcomed because so many remember what it was like to know nobody!

Moving at year 3, rather than later, means that parents tend to be more hands on so it is a good time to meet some new parent friends too.

We went private for secondary, but state for primary (albeit we moved DC2 in Y6, for several reasons). Choosing private will be different reasons for different people, and each person is likely to have a different reason.

We had a multitude of reasons (and different reasons for each DC), and not just state vs private, but also which private school would be the best fit for our DC.

My DC are now in Y13 and Y11, the eldest still sees her primary school friends, as well as her private school friends (important as their school now isn't nearby, so good to have local friends). I think you need to go with what's best for you and your DC, my decisions are unlikely to be the same as yours.