I’m having increasingly invasive thoughts TW *suicide*

[Isthisabitweird]

I name changed. I have recently been put on an antidepressant by the doctor for peri menopause. Not sure if this is relevant.

Every single day brings more and more bad news from around the world. The state of the country, lack of money, Ukraine, climate change I could go on and on.

I am becoming increasingly reluctant about leaving the house. I go to work, I parent. I don’t want to go out anymore and I would rather sleep all day.

I can’t really concentrate on anything. I put on a film it goes off 10 mins later.

I worry about everything.

Most of all I worry about the future my children will have. And I’m scared to be around for it. I’m scared of them living hand to mouth, working and never being able to afford to live and I’m becoming obsessed with the thought that if I was to die, they would inherit my money and they would be able to build a better foundation than any I can provide for them.

I don’t think I want to get old. I’m scared of war, I’m just scared of life. I don’t see myself as ever growing old.

I know I’m rambling and I don’t want a response I just want to get my words down. Thank you.

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. Please don't do anything to hurt yourself. You are feeling terrible now, but it won't be this way forever
Your family need you
Have you talked to your GP about this?

So sorry you're feeling like this. Is it tied into your cycle at all? I've developed PMDD as part of peri menopause and although my periods are irregular now I can always tell when I'm due to come on as I begin to feel exactly as you've described.

Please speak to your GP again

I don’t have periods, I had a hysterectomy a few years ago.

You urgently need some support, please ring your GP.

Antidepressants are not recommended to treat anxiety due to peri-menopause/menopause. They can make your issues much worse, as it appears they have done for you.

I highly recommend you go to a private Peri/menopause clinic.

www.independent.co.uk/news/health/menopause-antidepressants-symptoms-worse-hrt-shortage-a9148951.html

I had PMDD including intrusive and suicidal thoughts and been on anti depressants for years.

The only things that have worked are 1. The pill but that just made me a bitch instead and not helpful for you and 2. HRT which has changed my life. I do not exaggerate! Go back and insist on hrt.

Hi OP
We can see you're having a really hard time of it at the moment. We hope you don't mind but we wanted to drop by with a few links to resources that you might find helpful. Here are our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, if you are really struggling it's really a good idea to seek real-life help and support as well.

Some further support links:
Mind: Tips for everyday living
Mind: Mental wellbeing
NHS: Improve your mental wellbeing
Mental Health Foundation: Tips to look after yourself during scary world events

Very best wishes from MNHQ.