I’ll start off by saying I’m exhausted with dating. I’m mid 30s and really want to settle down. Met a lovely professional man around 3 months ago, we’ve seen each other every few days and going well. He told me straight away he had one dc but wasn’t very forthcoming about it, so I didn’t pry too much. Obviously as we’ve got closer I’ve asked more about it… turns out dc is 2 and he’s never met them. I asked why and he said he fell out with his ex, they were only together two years and he was never sure if dc was his. He does pay maintenance though (specifically asked!!). I found this quite odd and asked around it more and he said he does find it upsetting but can’t bring himself to have to deal with his ex partner as she was verbally abusive and made life very stressful for him. He said he tried to get in touch via lawyers before the birth but she was antagonist about it, demanding they spoke privately rather than through lawyers, and so he sensed she wanted the relationship back rather than wanting to do the right thing for the dc. I kind of get this as you wouldn’t want to have to talk to someone when the relationship is done.
I’m too scared to tell my friends as I know they’ll say run…but we’ve had the best time the last few months, he seems so genuine and caring and just a really decent bloke. Why is there always a snag?! My worry is I’m 35, if I get this one wrong I could be late 30s starting again and I’m feeling a bit distraught at the thought. Not sure what to do.