Miserable with 2.5 year old sleep regression - please give advice?

[KnackeredMum81]

I'm sure many have been through this before so just reaching out for some ideas and a bit of a support network!

Our son aged almost 2.5 has been fighting bedtime and waking up multiple times in the night for the past 6weeks or so. Before this he was a great sleeper. I know 2 year sleep regression is a thing so just looking for advice for anyone who's been through this.

I'm starting to really feel awful jn myself as it's just relentless. He refuses to go to sleep and the bedtime routine is starting to take around 2 hrs of constant in and out of the room. Once he's asleep there's peace for a few hours but then he wakes around 2am every night and the whole dance repeats itself till about 3/4am.

I'm doing all the night wake ups apart from weekend since I work part time and husband has a stressful job. Husband is one of those who'll sleep through apocalypse though, so I still end up awake on those two weekend nights.

Anyway I digress. DS tries every single trick in the book to get me to stay. The main one is asking for water and asking me to wipe his nose, which I feel like I can't ignore, or not do! He asks for one more song, one more story etc constantly (which I don't give into and I set boundaries first).

I try to wait a while before going back in, and I don't talk when I do. I follow all the advice I've read, and we've pushed bedtime back later by an hour as well.

When he wakes in the middle of the night he'll scream for me and then do this whole thing over again. I get him calm by stroking his back but as soon as I leave the room he's sitting up screaming mama over and over.

We have a strong bedtime routine with bath etc, blackout blinds, Gro clock, bedtime story - you name it.

Does anyone know if there is anything else I can do? And how long this will last? I've lost my evenings and I'm feeling exhausted and miserable with it all to be honest.

What happens if you stay in the room with him while he goes to sleep?

My DS was like this, but rather than trying to leave and him keep coming out of his room we use the "stern voice" - okay it's bedtime now (this works more for dad than me) and then sit on the floor while he goes to sleep.

By staying, he's asleep within 5min. If we do the in/out/screaming, it can take an hour

Thanks @WonderWoop and @Whereland that's helpful. Yes I'll try reducing his nap and I'll ask nursery if they can wake him too.

@MandaLynn yes I could try that and it might work - he likes me to hold his hand. The only reason I haven't been doing it is in case he then loses the ability to go to sleep by himself.... 🤷‍♀️

@KnackeredMum81 how did you get on last night?

Thanks for asking @Whereland

I'm feeling really low this morning to be honest. Husband is away working for 4 nights (back tomorrow) and I'm just exhausted doing this.

Following advice on this thread I tried my best to tire out my son with a longer play in the park than normal yesterday afternoon. I also played with him in his bedroom before tea a bit to encourage him to enjoy being in there. (We used to live in a flat which was easier to flow through each room and play in both his room and the living space, but we moved to a small house last year and it's harder now due to stairs dividing up the space, so he spends most time playing in the living room).

Anyway after tea I played with him and then did bath at 7pm, into bed at 7.30. Stuck to 1 story 1 song. He resisted bed a lot. This time I tried staying with him and held his hand. Once he realised I was sitting next to him and holding his hand he calmed down. I basically sat there till 8pm and he fell asleep at 8.

He woke up a couple of times round 10pm but was half asleep and so it was a 5 minute back stroke.

Then slept till 4am at which point he woke and was back to being very resistant, crying, calling out etc. He kept saying water, wipe, etc etc and then hold hands. I worry that I set a precedent by holding his hand to sleep at bedtime. Anyway long story short he didn't go back to sleep and so I've been up since 4am.

I feel utterly crap to be honest.

Oh no 😫 a broken sleep and 4am start is honestly just soul destroying. How was his nap yesterday?

Hi OP, I’m not sure I have much advice sadly but just wanted to offer a bit of solidarity. I remember the feeling of being woken at 4am after a broken night of sleep & it’s the worst. In my experience the mornings are the bleakest & I start to feel better later in the day. Your son will be tired today so will hopefully go to bed earlier or nap earlier giving you some respite. My daughter dropped her naps before turning 2 & we did find that even though she seemed tired enough to have a nap in the afternoon it really affected her bed time. It will get better I promise.

Could you try the Ferber method? Found it effective x

Thanks @Whereland

His nap yesterday was at nursery which was around 1hr 15 mins. I then had him for the afternoon.

Thanks @Madeintowerhamlets appreciate the solidarity!

@BlueBellsArePretty I've tried leaving it a bit longer before going in - eg 1 minute - but he gets himself really worked up and it doesn't seem like it helps.

Again, this is all new. Prior to this regression phase he would easily self settle. He used to lie there chatting away to himself quite happily by himself and then go to sleep. Now it seems he can only lie there either with me holding his hand or asleep. No happy medium.

It might sound mad but I'd try going even earlier with bedtime. I know it makes sense to think later bedtime = waking up later in the morning but it's often the opposite. Whenever we've been in a bad cycle of sleep going even earlier with bedtime seemed to just give a reset and more settled sleep. Try starting bath stories etc at 6.30 and in bed ready for sleep by 7

I can try @Whereland worth a go I guess.

It's so confusing as all the advice is conflicting.

I think the advice is all different because children are all different. My eldest didn't stop napping till over 3, my youngest had dropped the nap by age 2 😭

In your position I'd be cutting the nap time down, mine always resist bedtime if they've had an accidental car nap, and I'd be doing bedtime earlier.

It's really tough but know that it won't last forever. I really feel for you!

How did your night go? Hopefully slightly better than the night before

Hi @Whereland apologies for the delay! My husband is away half the week so I'm just surviving at the minute. Thanks for checking in.

The last few nights have gone ok actually. Since I last posted Ive been doing bath at 7pm and into bed at 7.30 and it's a bit better. I have stayed with my son till about 7.45/8 to give him a bit more comfort. I've left the room whilst he's still a awake and the last few nights he's called me back in a couple of times but then has gone to sleep. So he's been sleeping by 8/8.15 at the latest, which is much better.

2 nights ago he slept through!! Amazing! I was wide awake waiting for him to call my name all night thought and last night and the night before he awoke one time and got back down quite quickly.

So he's making improvements.

I've also been working hard to tire him out even more in the afternoons and giving him my full attention when playing to help ease any separation anxiety. I've been taking him for "moonlit walks" before bath which he enjoys.

I am just hoping we continue to see improvements. 🙏🙏🙏

So happy to hear that!

@KnackeredMum81 I am currently going through this 😩 feel exhausted! How long did this phase last for you? Are you all back to normal now?

@KnackeredMum81 Hi, I realise this thread is six months old, but what did you end up doing, and how did you get back on track with sleep (presuming you did!)? I'm going through pretty much exactly the same thing right now! Thanks

Tired mamma here....

Please shred some advice on how you guys overcome the 2year dreaded regression....

Over an hour to go down to sleep is now the norm at the moment and it's soul destroying.

Any hints or tips would massively be appreciated!!

Wakes at 645
Naps 12 till 1
Bath 6.45
Cuddles and milk 7.15.....

Then the battle of go to sleep commences....