Is this cultural or is he just being an arse

[Superwash]

Older middle aged man from South Africa, appointed to a fairly junior position.

He's doing very well with the work and workload, but is upsetting ever

Eh?

Oh dear, sorry.

Is upsetting everyone with his manner.

-Everything he says feels like an order and verges on aggressive. Is that just the accent?
-He does a lot of wagging his finger in people's faces as he talks and he gets in people's space so it's very close
-Every second word he says is "listen" but he doesn't seem to listen to people talking to him
-He's in a rush to get everything done and will interrupt if he needs something from anyone.

He's a white South African, previously running his own business, employing several people and left in the last decade "because of the political situation", although to give him his due, I'm not aware of anything racist, he's like this with everyone.

I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt, but if it wasn't for the change of culture, I'd be inclined to think he's one of those middle aged men who thinks he's in charge no matter what his job description is, although TBF he's quite modest when you have an actual conversation with him.

Sounds like it could be a bit of both.

God some of these mannerisms sound like a bloke I know.,.right down to the finger wagging. Also white South African coincidentally.

most horrendous cunt I have ever met. I want to make him a certificate on Twinkl create for rudest person in the world. Never met anybody so abrasive.

Yours sounds more polite though- you can have a ‘modest’ conversation with the man I know ONLY if he thinks he might be able to shag you.

I’ve found south africans to be quite direct on the whole, maybe it’s a cultural thing but also he’s used to being a bloke in charge.

Wagging a finger in someone's face and invading their space is unacceptable.

A very aggressive manner, especially the finger-wagging and interrupting. Can his line manager not take this up by having a word with him about how he interracts with colleagues? If it is cultural, he still needs to adapt to how workplaces are here. Are you his manager OP?

Yes, I'm his ine manager, I'm wondering what tack to take.

He sounds like an arse. I hope complaints are made and he's dealt with.

There was a thread not long ago about south African culture, the general consensus is that they are generally very direct which we would perceive as being intimidating being British.

Sounds like my white south African friend to me. She is very direct!

This is quite common when people come from different cultures or different levels of authority. You need to have a word with him as part of a review meeting.

Give him feedback on what he’s doing well and on what needs to be changed. Ask if he’s aware of different cultural norms and which norms are expected in the U.K. It’s much better if he can identify that his body language and habit of interrupting are a problem rather than you telling him.

Agree specific goals eg no finger waggling, no interrupting and review again in 4 weeks.

Your approach could be that this isn’t an attack on him or his personality but rather you’ve giving him a chance to amend his behaviour in line with what’s expected in the workplace.

If you want to back up what you’re saying, describe it in terms of assertive rather than aggressive behaviour. Alternatively you could refer to work styles and using a cooperative rather than authoritative style. It’s often quoted that body language is 55% of communication and you could use this to generate a discussion on the importance of body language.

I have a South African colleague who also says "Listen" every time she's speaking to us. I feel like I'm being told off, but it's not intended to be like that (I don't think!)

Something needs to be said. Tactfully.

I believe when someone from another country and culture moves to Britain, its up to us around them to help them assimilate by showing them what is/isn't culturally acceptable here. How else would they know?

I think there would be absolutely no point in trying to do anything tactful! I've already been blunt to the point of rudeness, he doesn't seem to notice

I also think people who used to run their own businesses find working for/under other people really hard. My Dh used to and now works for someone else, I have to tell him sometimes - noooo, you can't say/do that, you're not the boss any more! So it's an added factor I think.

Hmm.

My only other suggestion would be maybe you speak to HR and come up with a way of getting them to arrange a meeting where they can go through the things he can/can not do and say in a work environment. I dont know if they'll keep it like an informal type chat.

Because otherwise it'll only take one person taking his behaviour to HR for it to blow into a shitstorm and he needs to understand that. Maybe better coming from them?

Saying "Listen" is definitely a South African thing, used in normal conversation. The other things sound rude though.

Husband is SA he says 'listen' to start a conversation and 'shame' lots. Their accent inflection can sometimes seem like they are shouting

They also sometimes start sentences with "Look" which in the UK sounds argumentative.

I think it's a cultural thing. They are super direct. Not sure what the answer is apart from a chat advising his mannerisms are inappropriate in this setting.

I am HR 😆 I'm not an HR professional, but I am where these things are brought.

Well...formal it is!

Anyone else in HR who can set up a proper formal meeting that you can talk to? As hes your team I gather so someone else in HR can intervene

I'm such a champion for HR btw, got treated like shit at my last workplace and had I actually gone to HR early enough and not on my exit interview I'd have probably got a few people sacked for some of the shit they'd said.

If you’ve been blunt then it’s a performance management issue. Set goals, tell him what’s expected and come back to it regularly.

1. don’t wag your finger, other workers think it’s rude.

and so on. Achievable, measurable goals.