What is one of the worst and best decisions you've ever made?

[JamSandle]

One of my best: travelling for a year in my twenties and then doing a WHV. Still some of my favourite memories and almost feel like magical times.

One of my worst: staying stagnant in a job for two and a half years (not that long admittedly and it was alright money with good leave but looking back I'd have jumped sooner.)

Want to share some of yours?

Worst decision I ever made was to agree to sell my house to get the equity to invest in going into a joint venture with my boyfriend, in which we bought two dilapidated properties to renovate. Once completed, we'd live in one and sell the other for a fat profit.

He turned out to be a liar, a cheat, a thief and a con-man who gradually became insulting then abusive, then physically violent, including raping me on several occasions. We ended up in a sort of hostage and terrorist situation, him holding all the power by not completing the work, keeping me cowed and terrified of him and unable to leave, and by then he had ensured that I had no money to pay another builder.

I started with a house worth £66k of which £33k was equity and I had £20k in savings. By the time I got free of him (which took 5 years) I had lost everything, owed £20,000, and had two mortgages, each on a property that looked like a building site and was nowhere near being habitable or saleable.

The story of how I turned all this around is too long to relate, but eventually, after 8 years, by my own efforts, I got myself back to the good, safe and stable financial situation he had originally found me in.

The best decision I ever made was to never get financially involved with anyone again, so nobody can ever take away my home, my security, or my peace of mind. I managed to get rid of the two houses he had persuaded me to buy, and purchase another house. I have lived in it with lodgers for the last 25 years.

Best: your amazing. Your still here. You didn’t let the bastard win
worst: that that bastard might stop you trusting and finding someone who can make you feel as important as you are.

Worst: not leaving the man I thought was my boyfriend (but was actually grooming me) when I first felt it wasn't right

Best: getting clean and sober and having my daughter

Kateandme, thank you for your comment.

I have never been able to FULLY trust anyone since. I've happily had boyfriends for all these years but would never let anyone again inveigle me into a situation of dependence or vulnerability. For example I would consider letting a boyfriend move in, but on a lodger arrangement NEVER NEVER NEVER would I do anything were he could overstay his welcome, take my money, make me lose my home etc.

Best decision. Finally biting the bullet and getting a puppy. Not endlessly waiting for the ‘exact right time’. Wish we’d done it years ago. she’s been a total treasure.

Worst…it’s probably staying in the job I’m in now, I’m 54, we’ll paid, nice colleagues but I’m so bored.

BEST - Not going to university

WORST - buying a bloody shark hoover. It was shit.

i could have written the exact same words. So freaky!

Best: finding and marrying DH: a nerd before they were trendy. He's steady, super intelligent, excellent father and has earned very well.

Worst: wasting my time in school and uni, and getting mediocre qualifications. I studied again later and got the job I wanted, but how stupid to fritter away earlier opportunities being lazy and drinking.

SpeckledHen 😉

Some very inspiring posts here.

Best: marrying my DH and having our dc.
Worst: career decisions made in what suits the family and not on what will be best longer term. I'm currently in a good job but have virtually no pension having worked hard for years part time or prioritising other spending.
I would like to be retiring now

Worst - ever agreeing to date my entitled, lazy, selfish, controlling POS exH

Best - finally realising he was all of the above and throwing his sorry idle ar$e out.🙂

Best- having my children
Worst- spending my 3 university years with an older boyfriend who had no interest in my studies and encouraged me to drop out. I didn’t, but only by the skin of my teeth. I’d worked so hard to get there and then wasted it.

Best - having my disabled DD. She has taught me so much about empathy and compassion and made me passionate about things I didn’t even understand before. She’s made me learn new things such as Makaton and introduced me to an amazing community of people.

Worst - not saving my money when I was a 22 year old full time teacher living at home. I wasted so much money!

What is a nolnol?

Best.. not listening to anyone and marrying the love of my life ( childhood sweethearts ) at 18.
6 DC later it still is the best decision.
worse.. not going NC with a really toxic close relative a lot sooner, wasted 30 years of my life.

Years ago work sent me on a two day course which culminated in individual practical exams. I passed my exam but someone on the course failed and was sent back to the foyer for 30 mins before being allowed a resit. She was upset and I sat with her and went through stuff before she was called back in.

Afterwards I was asked if I wanted to become an instructor as they thought I had demonstrated the qualities needed. So I did that some weekends in conjunction with my normal job. Then at work a coaching/teaching post came up and I applied and got it - and it was my experience as an instructor which meant I got the promotion. Then after a few years I got a university lecturer post due to my coaching job.

All because of a spur of the moment decision to sit down and help a stranger for 20 mins.

Best-reluctantly agreeing to IVF. Biggest compromise I have made in the relationship. I absolutely was against it and very afraid. Currently cuddling my 4 month old DD after 6 years of hard work!

Worst- staying in a job where I cried every day and eventually got depression along with most of my colleagues because I was grateful of the highest salary I had ever been on (couple of grand more than minimum wage). Still struggle with stress 4 years later. . .

@MadeofCheeese How wonderful, congratulations ❤️

Best decision: deciding to be a swot at school so i left with great qualifications and had my pick of good jobs.

Worst decision: organising for my elderly mum to have some essential DIY done at short notice and then not anticipating the workman might overrun so i couldn't be there to supervise the last hour (had to collect dc2 from nursery and pop home to make them tea until dh got home from work.) I thought the short notice would mean mum didnt have time to fret about it, but instead it accelerated her anxiety which was bad news for a pre-existing medical condition. I saw her collapse as i arrived back at her house an hour later; she died in my arms. I could have done the whole thing so differently, and she'd be alive today. Hard to live with.

Best: Having my DD. Getting the dog. Buying a house on my own. Sticking it out and gaining a professional qualification despite a bullying manager trying to spoil it. Changing career at 37. Moving to our new home town. Going travelling instead of rushing to settle down after uni. Going on long term medication for a medical condition.

Worst: Ignoring loads of social and cultural opportunities while at uni to focus on partying and boys (was fun though). Not kicking an abuse dickhead into touch a lot sooner (although I learned a lot along the way which makes me happier now)
Not going along with my family to scatter my grandad's ashes as a young teen. No idea why I didn't go.

So sorry to read this. Please don't blame yourself, you couldn't possibly know this would happen and with her medical conditions this could have happened at any time. You sound like a lovely daughter. Go east on yourself.

Best… dropping out of Uni. The course modules changed and hardly anyone on my course is actually using their degree. Half of them were racists though so even better decision
worst- not saving as much as I could while living at home. I could have bought a house but nope decided to spend all the money I made because we didn’t have much money growing up.

That's actually quite a tough one but the pp who mentioned cryptocurrency made me remember that my then boyfriend (now husband) told me he was going to start mining bitcoin in 2012 and I had no idea what it was and said it sounded illegal and he shouldn't do it 🤣 what an idiot I was!

I feel like a lot of my decisions have been best and worst at the same time as every pro has a con etc!

So eg I hate that I stayed in a comfortable job for years because they kept promoting me only to realise that I was very much lagging behind the market salary wise and had pigeon holed myself into one industry experience wise but it was also a good decision in some ways as I have some great job titles on my CV

Saved and bought a house in our hometown as soon as humanly possible after university. Good to get on the ladder but now feel extremely stuck and wonder what on earth I was thinking by not moving to London as that's where all the jobs I would ideally do are

My absolute best decision was having my daughter!

What a lovely post. Having a child with a disability is not all doom and gloom. It can help one to be more open, and less selfish.

Worst: I had really poor money management skills at 18, lived alone, and let myself sink into a massive debt with overdraft and store cards that took years to fully clear!

Best: I got onto the property ladder as soon as I could. I scrimped and saved to do it on my own and bought a lovely cottage in Manchester that offers me security and peace of mind and now I'm expecting my first baby, I deeply appreciate my independence and the ability to provide my child stability.