Come backs for comments regarding my clothes

[Newwardrobe]

I have a male colleague who thinks he's a comedian, it's almost impossible to speak to him without him making a 'joke' .
Recently his jokes have been aimed at my clothes.
I have worn a striped top and he asked why I'd come as a sailor ; red trousers and I'm a clown ; black trousers and black top , I was a stick of liquorice; ankle boots with a couple of tassels, asked if I was John Wayne.
I do have a sense of humour but he's getting on my nerves and I'm very close to telling him that at least I can change my clothes but he's stuck with his face .
I don't want to make a big thing of it and be rude but would love a short sharp comment to make him stop, something that won't make me seem like a sour puss but will shut him up.

Over a minor matter that she can resolve herself.

If repeated attempts to end these comments fail, that’s when you go to HR.

"ankle boots with a couple of tassels, asked if I was John Wayne."

I think that one's fair enough.

These ones are Irish, but there's a thread on Twitter about London people going to 'the provinces' and getting the mick taken out of them as well.

evoke.ie/2021/08/19/style/fashion/irish-twitter-recalls-humiliating-fashion-put-downs-in-hilarious-thread

Real life experiences, colleague wearing jeans tucked into knee high boots being asked where her horse was, myself wearing a grey coat with a big neck thing being asked if I'd just arrived from the Russian Front. Both pretty fair I thought.

Are there managers around when he says these things, or just "safe" colleagues like his partner? That often tells you a lot about their actions - if he's not daft enough to do / say it in front of someone more senior, he knows damn well he shouldn't be saying it. and the reply to his partner's "oh, he's such a joker" is "no, he isn't, he's being offensive". Don't use "I" statements "I find it unpleasant" because then the focus is on your behaviour.

I've had this a few times and I've told them straight.

It's not ok to comment on a woman's appearance, especially if you're doing it to mock her in anyway. Please don't do that again.

I would just look upset and say "Oh, I thought I looked nice" in a sad voice

Agree as tempting as it is, a pithy remark means he can label it as banter and up the ante.

I would do a big sigh and "can you not comment on my clothes any more, it's really annoying."

If he does a "I'm only joking" then say "it's not funny though, it's quite odd. So can you just not."

If he still does it then "do I really need to tell HR that a bloke isn't capable of not commenting on my clothes? Give it a rest."

Hopefully he'll stop and if not then fuck it, off to HR you go.

What an insufferable little prick he is.

He's doing it to put you down if you are the only one. Something about you makes him feel insecure and threatened. It's a form of bullying and if you are reassessing your clothing choices, it is working.

Ask him to stop as you don't find them funny. If he replies that it's just banter, tell him it isnt. It's neither playful nor an exchange and that if he persists in singling you out, you will take it further as per your organisation's HR anti bullying policy.

He never says anything within earshot of management.

Just tell him to stop and keep doing it until he learns. In front of other people is best but alone also works. It will take some time but keep it up. Think of it as potty training but without the positive reinforcement of having to say: "Have you done a wee or a poo? Good boy."

No need to think of witty comebacks which might make him think you enjoy the repartee or pretend he thought you did. As for running to HR... Why do people always say this. HR are not referees.

I would honestly say

Please stop commenting on what I wear, it's not appropriate.

Anything else will be seen as "banter" and encourage him.

"So weird you seem obsessed with my clothes. Are you okay?" Head tilt and fake sad face.

Prick.

Practise looking him up and down with a withering look of disappointment on your face. Do this then walk away,

Can you secretly record him on your phone?

Look at him hard, and ask him why he thinks it’s appropriate to look closely at, and comment on, a woman’s body in the workplace. Ask him if he thinks HR would approve. Walk away.

Or very loudly so that you can be heard throughout the office, “It’s funny how you always make personal and inappropriate comments to me when no one else is around! Please do NOT speak to me unless it’s work related or iwhen other people can hear!”

I think this is the best option. Say that every time. If he persists, tell him you’ve asked him many times to stop, and if he does it again you’ll complain formally.
What a dick. These constant unfunny jokes are so wearing. He’s entertaining himself at your expense but this is completely unprofessional in the workplace. And he’s targeting you, so nobody can say that’s just how he is (though that is no excuse).

This. Plus anything else is just wasting mental energy for nothing. The simplest, most straight-forward way is usually the best. Just say Don't make those comments I'm not interested.

What a monumental clunge-monkey he is. I would say "This is getting a bit tired now isn't it?" Brief smile, head tilt, walk off. Repeat every time he does it.

'Excellent, just the look I was going for'.

This^^

I never understand the jokey suggestions in what is a work situation with a bloke who is being continually inappropriate. It’s not professional and it’s making someone feel bad. That’s not something to minimise or laugh off. Men are also wired to think that ‘banter’ is a green light on these things so it’ll only get worse. Just nip it the bud in a serious tone and imply that if he doesn’t stfu you’ll escalate it.

"How awful to lead such a sad little life that the only way you can get any joy from it is to put others down just because of what they are wearing, never mind you'll get a life one day I'm sure".

Definitely do not say anything to him while alone/no-one else around. You need at least one other person present to be able to corroborate anything you say to him. I would go with a 'oh please stop with the constant commenting on my clothes' and a stare and walk away. He's going to turn it into a 'oh I'm joking, no sense of humour' no matter what you say, so you need to make sure you keep it polite, factual and with a witness.

After that if anything happens it's straight to HR and he can't say you didn't give him a chance to stop.

And I guarantee you his partner doesn't think 'oh he's such a joker'. I imagine she cringes internally every single time ...

I agree with PPs who said I would not reply with a comeback. I would just say Stop commenting on my clothes, it makes me uncomfortable. If he keeps it up or if he says anything like You can’t take a joke etc, then make a complaint.
It sounds like this is really bothering you so I definitely think you need to deal with it. He sounds like a total prick.

Honestly stunned people would go to hr or management over this, he’s clearly trying to be funny no matter how much he’s failing and the fact rhe op hates him isn’t helping.

seriously I’d just ignore him, look at him pointedly with disgust and look away, say nothing. But if it really gets to you so much go to management and hr, but if I was your manager or hr I’d think you had real issues.