Come backs for comments regarding my clothes

[Newwardrobe]

I have a male colleague who thinks he's a comedian, it's almost impossible to speak to him without him making a 'joke' .
Recently his jokes have been aimed at my clothes.
I have worn a striped top and he asked why I'd come as a sailor ; red trousers and I'm a clown ; black trousers and black top , I was a stick of liquorice; ankle boots with a couple of tassels, asked if I was John Wayne.
I do have a sense of humour but he's getting on my nerves and I'm very close to telling him that at least I can change my clothes but he's stuck with his face .
I don't want to make a big thing of it and be rude but would love a short sharp comment to make him stop, something that won't make me seem like a sour puss but will shut him up.

How would he respond if you replied really earnestly?
Like, oh, I thought no one would notice I'm a sailor today, at least you're on the ball!
And then ramble on about how you considered bell bottoms but would that be a step too far .. tomorrow will tell!
Massive smile and swan off.

He'll think you're totally loopy and might stop?
Take the wind out of his sails.

Look at him with a totally dead pan expression and say “I feel uncomfortable when you comment on my personal experience”, then walk off. No further discussion. If he does it again or escalates it - file a complaint.

WHY should you be thinking about what the next jibe will be when you are at home getting dressed for work, or walking into work? He needs to shut it.

Not quite the same but years ago there was a guy I knew who decided one day (apparently as some sort of chat up line) to tell me that he didn't like my dress. My answer was "Good. I wore it to annoy you."

Why don't you want to be rude.... he doesn't care about being rude to you ?

Report to HR in the meantime a 'please grow up' may be worth a try - in a bright & breezy, slightly condescending way.

“Yes I have different outfits but you always come as a twat.”

Just a simple ‘I dress as I wish and am not looking for critique so please stop sharing your opinions on my personal life and choices. I find it uncomfortable and your focus on me has become quite alarming.’ You could even add in ‘do we have an HR problem here?

but whatever you do don’t retaliate with a comeback. If you’re truly bothered by his comments the last think you want is to send the message that you’re playing the game he has started. It’s probably what he’s hoping for.

‘Stop commenting on my clothes it’s making me feel uncomfortable’.

Coarse, crass, snappy comebacks are beneath you.

Either enlist HR to shut him down or Grey Rock him. A tart reaction is just going to egg him on.

No witty comebacks, because then he won’t take it seriously and will think you find him funny and are bantering back.

Id have a very serious word re ‘You should not be commenting on my appearance, it’s extremely inappropriate and if you carry on, I will be making a complaint’. Hopefully that’ll shut the arsehole up.

I totally agree. Don't even engage. Just report him.

Actually, I do feel uncomfortable and I do now think twice about what I'm going to wear, he's so unfunny and makes me feel a bit shit.

I'll ignore and if he doesn't stop will report to my boss . We sit on the same bank of desks and his partner also sits with us- she always makes excuses for him 'oh he's such a joker' 🙄

It sounds like he has a crush on you. How old is he?

I'm almost twice his age and wouldn't touch him with a barge pole!

Ugh, he sounds awful. If you want light hearted, I'd go with "Gosh John, you do pay a lot of attention to my clothes, how very strange" and let the comment hang there. But I think you would be justified in taking a less light hearted approach.

"Jesus Christ Zoe, how has this prick not bored you to death yet?"

Just take him aside and tell him he's upsetting you. Def make sure you're in a private place. He's very likely to be contrite and will stop. If he doesn't stop then tell him in front of others that his jokes are lane, fake yawning whilst you're saying it. And if that doesn't stop him, you'll need to raise with HR. What he's doing is tantamount to bullying.

I do love the "you've come as an arsehole/twat" comments but agree that the safest tactic is like these above.

If you make a snappy comeback or ignore him, there's always the option further down the line for him to say he didn't know it was bothering you/you thought it was funny/it's banter etc. If you use the "please stop commenting on my clothes, it's making me uncomfortable" line, there's no excuse for him to continue. He sounds like a right twat.

I've always like 'I've been called worse by better'

You could do the old joke of telling him that he’s really funny and should be on the telly.

When he says “Really?” You then reply, “Yes, then we could switch you off!”

I want to remain professional and agree that while a sarky comment is very tempting, I don't want to be seen as joining in.

Can you play dumb and say “I don’t understand, can you explain why you believe that I look like whatever” and keep asking until he feels really awkward. Turn it back into him.

I agree with @LimeCheesecake. Making a return quip turns it into mutual banter.

I think you should ignore him, unless his comments are actively upsetting you, then I'd suggest you complain about him. If it's just that he's getting on your last nerve, don't waste any oxygen on him. He sounds like a crashing bore.