Fear of having a panic attack is ruining my life

[panicattackhell]

I am finding my world is incredibly small, because I'm terrified of doing anything in case I have a panic attack .

I'm in shared accommodation (student), but I'm finding I can't do half the stuff I want to do, because I'm too wound up . I need to desperately put a wash on, but the thought of going to the laundrette panics me . I need to take rubbish out to the bin, but again, when I think about it I panic again . The feelings I get with a panic attack are so horrible it feels like I'm going to die (3 times I've been sent over to A&E by GP) . I picture myself eg going to laundry room, having a panic attack alone and then I end up making excuses in my mind not to go.

So I'm spending most of my day sitting on my bed, staring at a screen - which inevitably makes me feel unwell when I do try to do any exercise - spend so long sitting that standing makes me feel dizzy .

Diagnosed with agoraphobia 10 years ago . But even then I could walk around the house, now I struggle to leave my room .

I don't have a bloody clue what to do. GP is aware, I'm on a list for support, but meantime I feel so alone and terrified all the time, mentally and physically exhausted and cant keep going like this . Just want to feel normal again . Scared this is going to kill me somehow .

Urgh it's shit isn't it?

I had the exact same in my early 20's.
Dont do what I did and self medicate with alcohol though!

What did change my life immeasurably was hypnosis.
Im not talking about the type of stage hypnosis that turns you into a duck, or the one that asks you about past lives.

This is very relaxing hypnosis that changes your negative thought patterns.

If you can afford it then go for it, or save up and in the meantime try YouTube or Audible for hypnosis tracks.

There's also tapping for when you're midpanic. (If you Google tapping on pressure points as I can't remember what it's called!)

And rescue remedy.

And of course mindfulness but I'm not sure that would have helped me when I was at my worst.

Have you discussed your issues with student well-being services or equivalent? Is the university aware and can they help?

It's so difficult for you in this situation. I'm sorry that you have not yet got access to support despite being brave enough to look for it.
Panic attacks are so horrible. Like a pp has said, is there a student welfare option?
Praise yourself for even the smallest victories.

I had agoraphobic symptoms for nearly 3 years, could barely leave the house for fear of having a panic attack.
The DARE method changed my life. I was fully recovered in a year, got married and went on a plane for the first time.
I’ve even had a couple of panic attacks out and about since (which was the scenario that sent me mentally to the edge of hell and back) and to my utter astonishment, was absolutely fine. I even managed to carry on those times and enjoy my day.
So I really recommend it. I was able to read the book and implement measures despite being in a very bad, exhausted place at the time.
This does not have to be your life and no matter what that voice in your head tries to convince you, it’s not forever.

Do you have any medication?

As your gp not given you any medication?

Thanks @DollyTots - will check this out.

I’ve had the same. CBT and propranolol helped me. Also breathing technique. Deep breath in for 4 seconds, then out 8 for. It really calms me down and I can now stop myself panicking by doing that. But in the meantime def try propranolol to get things under control.

Tackle it multiple ways. Dr for anti anxiety meds, self help from DARE or Claire Weeks books. Plus definitely get support from student wellbeing.

Yes, l agree, read the book "Dare", on Amazon. . Forget coping mechanisms, you don't want to manage your panic attacks you want to become panic free. Allow those horrendous feelings to come, do nothing, let them come, nothing bad is going to happen, let them come, they will reach a peak like a wave and then retreat, when the feelings of panic set in, and l know this can be within a blink of an eye, force yourself to make symptoms worse, that's why the book is called Dare, you need to be brave enough to act against all your natural instincts, It takes practice, this book was written a long time after l suffered mine, l got it for my teenage son who had massive problems getting into school from fear of a panic attacks. I think there is another book on Amazon "At last a life" , or "A life at last", can't remember title, that's also got alot of good reviews.
When you try and make the symptoms worse, instead of avoidance or trying to implement coping mechanisms, nothing bad happens, it can stop panic in its tracks, because the thing that you feared didn't happen. It's your thoughts that trigger a panic attack, as soon as you think what if l have a panic attack, that in itself is enough to bring one on. Goodluck.

Another seconding DARE. Would you consider medication? I'm on citalopram and it's changed my life. Good luck.

I’m on meds - beta blockers and SSRI - but they don’t seem to make a huge difference, GP said she didn’t want me changing them right now as said changing them would be even worse . It’s a hellish feeling, every
time I get up to do something it starts again - palpitations and dizzy and feeling ‘unreal’ and I think oh God better just sit still rather than it happen .

Student support are aware and very good at helping with stuff that happens within uni (eg lectures) but less so with stuff out with that, I suppose it’s just a case of I need to just go and do it despite the anxiety but it’s so difficult to just get started . I’ve left my laundry to build up for three weeks so it desperately needs doing now .

I remember hearing about Dare before, I’ll google that . Have heard of Claire Weekes before too .

Can't you get anyone else in the accommodation to go with you?

How long have you been on the medication?.There is an adjustment time and Doc can give you a mild tranquliser until they take effect

Definitely get the Dare book, as soon as humanly possible. You need to learn that anxiety attacks are nothing to be afraid of, because they really aren't. They will not kill you, no matter how horrible they feel. You can conquer this, I promise you.

The Dare book is fabulous. The app is even better and I use it out and about. I had a sudden collapse a few months back which left with me awful agoraphobia. Now I goad my anxiety “go on, get worse, go on!!!” and it never does. it sounds counter intuitive but just keep telling yourself so what if I have a panic attack? I won’t die. Nothing bad will happen. I will just have a panic attack and move on my with my day. It’s not pleasant, but I can deal with a panic attack. It’s a chemical reaction to my anxious thoughts. even if you don’t believe it at first, tell yourself that.

Progressive muscle relaxation helps me when I’m anxious in the house.

Small tasks to do each day - not all at once. Just think “okay, this afternoon I’m going to do my laundry. I’ll be back at 3pm and then I’ll do my essay” (or whatever). If you start to feel anxious when you’re doing your laundry just say “oh well, I’ll be doing my essay in 5 minutes”.

Sounds stupid but even smaller things like hot water bottles, a nice hot drink, Vicks vapour rub, pillow spray can make things better. I always think, if you’re going to suffer, suffer in comfort (if that makes sense).

it’s horrible, I hope you feel better soon.

OP you're not alone. I've only left my house about 6 times in 9 years for emergency reasons. I literally live on high panic alert at all times. My palpitations last all day most days and it's so so draining. I have ended up with no friends. I walk from room to room staring out of my window watching the world just go by without me. I beta blockers for 4 years but they didn't help.
My fear is death.. I panic about death so much that I feel like I'm actually dying sometimes. It's so scary. I haven't heard of the book called dare before, so I'm going to also give that a go.
I hope you manage to overcome your panic attacks as I truly do know how much it can ruin your life.
I've never been on an airplane and now I won't even travel in a car. I won't do anything that could cause me to die
I'm not living I'm just existing 😞

I’m so sorry to hear you’re feeling this way, truly.

Download the Dare app tonight! It’s got all the content of the book on there.

@Halffacts thank you! I've just downloaded the app. I will have a listen while laying in bed tonight xx

I suffered from panic attacks for many years. I tried everything, hypnotherapy, CBT, self help books, medication which I hated the side effects of so didn’t try for long. I had a massive one while driving with my DC in the car which was my tipping point and a memorable one in the hair dresser when my head was covered in tin foil for highlights and I just wanted to RUN outside screaming. It was unbearable.

I can’t comment on the DARE method as never used it but what helped me was actually willing one to come on.

Like come on, I’m expecting you and when one did, letting it wash over me by allowing myself to stop and feel it while saying to myself that it was just my body releasing adrenaline which I actually didn’t need but my poor overworked brain was so knackered from being constantly on high alert it had lost the plot for a bit, until it stopped which it always did pretty quickly. Often they didn’t come at all.

It’s hard but the more terrified you are of the feelings, the more adrenaline you release and the worse they get. You have to have a scientific awareness of what’s going on inside you and distance yourself from the fear in your mind by observing it as almost like an interested 3rd party. I had been through a lot of trauma and stress so I knew why my brain was reacting that way which also helped rationalise it. Trained myself out of it, exposure method I suppose. I’ve had further trauma and stress since but they never came back.

Also take it easy on your poor mind. Think of it like a jumpy, terrified kitten that needs comfort and metaphorical hugs to be able to calm down and relax. Funny videos (I particularly like cat ones!), comedy movies, meditation and exercise which lifts your heart rate enough to make you sweat all helps.

Sounds corny but worked for me and they’re a distant memory now.

Let us know what you think of it ☺️ It’s helped me so much xx

I’m so sorry to hear you are suffering like this. I really understand what you’re describing, I’ve been there and it is awful. But please don’t lose hope. There are many things you can try, there is not a single solution that works for everyone. But if you keep trying you’ll find something that makes a difference. The fear you are experiencing is paralysing, but it’s designed to feel that way. The “old” part of the brain is basically just a protection system, designed to send huge floods of anxiety when we think we are in danger. But it can’t tell the difference between a real danger e.g a mugger, and an imaginary danger e.g our thoughts about imaging a future panic attack etc. Once you’re in that highly anxious state it continues in a vicious circle but you can interrupt it and bring your anxiety levels down. I’d recommend exercise too - I know it is the absolute last thing you feel like doing, but getting your heart rate up will burn a bit off the huge amount of adrenaline in your system. And the book that someone recommended here “at last a life” by Paul David - this helped me loads. You have to throw a huge amount of blind faith behind trying things like the DARE technique. I know you feel like nothing will work, but you have to just try anyway with a higher faith that you’ll see some kind of results soon… I hope that makes sense. For me it was understanding the “blind faith” approach and trying things even when I wanted to hide away and cry that really made a difference. Wishing you all the luck in the world and please talk here if you need to!

I've never heard of the book Dare but I was going to say don't fear the panic attack. No-one has ever died from one and you will survive it. It's your body and brain TRYING to help you.

Try the audiobook 'Hope and Help for your Nerves' by Claire Weekes. It helped me understand panic attacks and I don't get them anymore. It's worth a listen until you can get help from your GP.

How long have you been taking your meds for?

you may need a mild dose of diazepam or similar for a couple of weeks just to break the cycle.

I feel for you; I was like this for a couple of years in my early 20s and was pretty much housebound. I couldn’t see me ever improving, but I did. I forced myself to do tiny challenges every single day and even when it felt awful I still made myself do it.

On a practical note, I find watching this shape and breathing in time with it can bring me out of a panic attack or at least make it feel more manageable.