Do you know anyone who had a termination?

[heartbroken22]

What was their reason for it? I had to have one around 6 months ago because I was really really sick with hyperemesis and was bed bound. I'm just curious as to how many others have had to terminate a very much wanted pregnancy due to ill health and whether they regret it. I regret it immensely but it had to be done at the time otherwise I would have died. It was horrible.

I know a lot actually, reasons ranging from , too young , wrong time , wrong partner would affect future career

3, or 4 if you count my late aunt, who I didn’t know about till I was well into my 40s. My aunt was one of the first to have a legal (ish) one; she had to come over from Ireland for it. She was in a rather bad relationship with a married man and did not consider herself able to bring up a child at all, let alone on her own. (I have a feeling DM may even have offered to adopt…☹️)

One woman close to me had two in her early teens, thanks to naivety and a nasty toxic boyfriend (‘oh by the way…it split’). One had a termination because she was in a toxic relationship, and another, her partner was a serious alcoholic and she was on heavy medication for epilepsy. Not to mention she also considered herself temperamentally unsuited to motherhood. All of them had really good reasons and I think all of them reckoned they made the right decision.

Oh and I once had a job interview with a woman who told me she had one when she was doing the course I was on at the time - flaky boyfriend, lots of work and she wanted to get a job straight after.

I was honestly really touched and admired her for telling me that.

I did. This year. (Name changed).

I suppose my situation is probably on the more controversial side because it wasn’t a bad relationship (happily married) and we probably could have made it work logistically and financially … but we just don’t want a 3rd child.

I only find it difficult because I have known a few friends have surprise pregnancies and surprise 3rd children very recently and I do just sometimes find it hard to be around them heavily pregnant while I’m thinking that actually the exact same thing happened to me but we all obviously came to make very different decisions. They will never know and I don’t regret my decision really.

I’m not aware of anyone I know having had a termination apart from me but I’m sure some have. It’s not something people want to discuss in the main, is it? My decision was a personal one between me and DH and no one else is involved.

And to add, the thing I do find hard about the conversation is that just as this very thread proves everyone has a “good” reason for making the choice they did - toxic relationship, they were too young, serious medical conditions. Not many people ever come out and say - I am in my thirties and in a fantastic relationship and I have young children I just don’t want anymore because I feel like I’ll regret and hate my life… but that’s honest situation.

4 people. One already had 2 dcs, had 2 terminations because she just didn’t want any more. No guilt or regrets.

One, in her 20s, single, had more than one, again no regrets - until finding many years later that she couldn’t have babies when she wanted them.

One, late teens, just profound relief at the time, but terrible regrets later, after having much loved babies of her own.

Last, terminated a 3rd baby at 20 weeks because it was the wrong sex - she already had two of those.

Last, terminated a 3rd baby at 20 weeks because it was the wrong sex - she already had two of those.

Wtf? And that's what she told people..?

Loads. Where I grew up it's basically contraception.

Me accidental pregnancy, would not be advised to carry on for medical reasons

As a fellow hyperemesis survivor I’m so sorry. Makes me so angry that women are out in this situation because there’s no money to research it and prevent losses in this way.

My friends daughter had 4. Kept getting pregnant with a dickhead. Mental health issues and totally i love with a pig of a bloke.

now has an implant (thankfully). Can’t look after herself let alone a baby.

I did. I was 20 and not in the right place financially or practically to be a parent.

I regret that it was necessary but only in passing.

i have never regretted that I did it.

I did at 18. I wasn't ready for a child and I've never once regretted my decision. It was the right thing to do.

Yes I know quite a few girls that fell pregnant whilst on double contraception when I was younger..

I'm not antibortion you don't know know what's in store for you in life OP. I would consider one tbh if I fell pregnant tomorrow I'm not if I would keep it. I hope you make peace with yourself!