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Original poster

One night stand - shall I just not bother?

29 replies

Hi71934 · 30/10/2022 19:19

So last night I met a guy in a bar and he came back to mine. We had sex and got on well. I don’t know what I want and I think he’s the same, but I genuinely thought that after our conversations I would see him again, on a casual basis at least.

I messaged him this morning (on Instagram as he added me on that last night - he didn’t take my number), saying nice to meet him, and he didn’t reply until 8 hours later. The tone of his message was a bit “off”, not how I expected him to reply. He didn’t ask any questions and now he has just left me on read.

Should I ask him if he wants to meet up again at some point, or just leave it? He was talking last night about how women aren’t treated with respect yet I am getting very mixed messages from him right now and would rather just know what he’s thinking.

OP posts:
BeautifulElephant · 30/10/2022 19:20

Just leave it. If he wants to see you it will be obvious.

JamSandle · 30/10/2022 19:21

I would leave it as hes actions speak louder than words.

He will definitely contact you again when he wants sex. I would advise to give a wide berth.

sammylady37 · 30/10/2022 19:21

Mixed messages?

He didn’t take your number, took 8 hours to reply, made no effort to engage in decent conversation and hasn’t replied to your last message… he’s not sending mixed messages, he’s being clear.

Joewasmyfave · 30/10/2022 19:21

In the nicest way op he's made his feelings clear I wouldn't try anymore.
In my experience men will say whatever it takes to get a woman into bed.
I'm sorry op

MarigoldMoonStone · 30/10/2022 19:21

Definitely leave it. If he hasn’t replied to your last message DO NOT message him again!

SirMoose · 30/10/2022 19:23

Could he not just have an absolutely hanging hangover and is just lying in an dark room with a dominos and a sore head?

TheRossatron · 30/10/2022 19:24

No - and when he does "make an effort" in a couple of weeks for another shag he's lying about being busy at work 👍

JamSandle · 30/10/2022 19:25

TheRossatron · 30/10/2022 19:24

No - and when he does "make an effort" in a couple of weeks for another shag he's lying about being busy at work 👍

Yes yes yes.

BobbyBobbyBobby · 30/10/2022 19:30

My own opinion is that men see some women as women they just want to screw on a first date and some women as potential partners/a relationship and will not push for sex until they have been dating them longer and have got to know them
more.

Or he may just enjoy having no strings sex every time he goes out.

Whatever the reason he Seems to be only interested in casual sexual and nothing more meaningful.

Kiwigrape · 30/10/2022 19:32

Leave it and move on and as others have said when he tries and makes contact in a couple of weeks or months just ignore it.
He will have talked differently to how he is acting to just get what he wanted.

ShandaLear · 30/10/2022 19:33

I had a one night stand with my now DP seven years ago. He dropped me to the train station the next morning. I had a text from him before I got off the train at the other end of a 30 minute journey inviting me out for dinner that evening. When they want to see you again you know about it.

MoggyP · 30/10/2022 19:35

Leave it

A one night stand is exactly that. It's not the start of a courtship

dudsville · 30/10/2022 19:35

Whenever you think you're getting mixed messages pay most attention to the meanest or lowest ones.

lannistunut · 30/10/2022 19:35

Leave it. You have made contact, the ball is in his court. Have some self-respect now.

BCBird · 30/10/2022 19:37

Leave it. If he wants to see him,and provided u feel the same,it will happen. I would not chase him.

dropthevipers · 30/10/2022 19:53

Presumably all that guff about treating women with respect was before he got your knickers off?

CheezePleeze · 30/10/2022 20:11

You met last night and had sex last night. He's got what he wanted so just move on OP.

x2boys · 30/10/2022 20:17

ShandaLear · 30/10/2022 19:33

I had a one night stand with my now DP seven years ago. He dropped me to the train station the next morning. I had a text from him before I got off the train at the other end of a 30 minute journey inviting me out for dinner that evening. When they want to see you again you know about it.

This ,my dh was my last one night stand he got in touch very quickly and we have never been apart since
I will add though i had several one night stand when single that went no where.

W00p · 30/10/2022 20:19

Eh? You've just met him and know nothing about him! Leave it be.

x2boys · 30/10/2022 20:21

MoggyP · 30/10/2022 19:35

Leave it

A one night stand is exactly that. It's not the start of a courtship

In the main i agree but my dh was a one night stand eighteen years and two kids and some very challenging times we are still together but i think we are the exception rather than the rule

Ludo19 · 30/10/2022 20:21

@dropthevipers 100% this

MovingOnUpp · 30/10/2022 20:23

Leave it, he may contact you if he fancies a booty call.

Pansypotter123 · 30/10/2022 20:27

What was his reply?

Melonapplepear · 30/10/2022 20:28

No definitely don't ask! If he's interested he will message again. Don't give him satisfaction.

CheezePleeze · 30/10/2022 20:35

dropthevipers · 30/10/2022 19:53

Presumably all that guff about treating women with respect was before he got your knickers off?

Why was it 'guff'? The OP has said nothing that points to him being disrespectful.

She wanted sex, he wanted sex, they had sex, she sent a text and he politely replied.