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Original poster

Can someone please talk me down?

36 replies

Bluey2022 · 29/10/2022 22:48

Sorry if this comes across as rambling but I will try and keep it brief so as not to be identifying

A family member has made an accusation to another family member about me which s 100% untrue

The family member had said initially they had reported said accusations to the police and then retracted this days later and said they wouldn't do this etc

Fast forward to 6 weeks later and I am getting a barage of abusive calls threatening me with the police, being accused of lying, told I have upset several member of the family and they are currently debating wether or not to go to the police alongside some really hurtful personal comments

At this rate I'm tempted to contact the police myself 1) to prove my innocence 2) to remove the threat

I just don't know what to do anymore, I work full time and have 5 DC and feel under constant stress as it is and this feels like the tip of the iceberg, once my DC were in bed I broke down in tears and have no one I can speak to right now about this

OP posts:
CoopersChase · 29/10/2022 23:08

Wow. The allegations must be serious indeed - are we talking theft or what?

How have you responded/defended yourself to the family thus far?

Dreamwhisper · 29/10/2022 23:11

How can you know 100% they are not true? That is a critical detail

CampariAndSoda · 29/10/2022 23:12

The first thing is to block whoever is calling you. You don’t have to listen to all that. Secondly, if they were going to go to the police they would probably have done it by now. It sounds as if they are harassing you and it would be reasonable to report that to the police.

TheSausageKingofChicago · 29/10/2022 23:14

Hard to say without knowing what’s been alleged. There’s a whole spectrum of possibilities here. If you can prove it’s a malicious allegation you may have grounds for a complaint of harassment.

tickticksnooze · 29/10/2022 23:14

At this rate I'm tempted to contact the police myself 1) to prove my innocence

That's not how the system works. You wouldn't be able to do that.

If the police do investigate and interview you, only speak to them with a solicitor present.

saltnvinegarpringles · 29/10/2022 23:15

Dreamwhisper · 29/10/2022 23:11

How can you know 100% they are not true? That is a critical detail

Well presumably OP should know if allegations against her are true or not.

BCBird · 29/10/2022 23:16

I would be tempted to.pre empt.them.by going to the police myself. Hope you get some peace
X

giumf

BCBird · 29/10/2022 23:17

Ignore the random letters at the end. Typo

Blablablaaaaa · 29/10/2022 23:22

Block them. Block everyone who sends vile messages.

Candymay · 29/10/2022 23:27

What are you accused of? More context needed really. But you can block calls. I don’t think you can go to the police to preempt any accusations.

HarrietSchulenberg · 29/10/2022 23:48

As you know it's not true, tell all of them to report you to the police and that you won't be talking to any of them again until they've done this and the matter's resolved, or they can retract the lie and apologise to you.
Then don't communicate further with them until one or the other happens. If they do report you to the police, do not communicate with them until you have the police outcome.
Sorry you have to go through this, sounds tough.

Original poster
Bluey2022 · 30/10/2022 04:59

Thankyou for your replies

Unfortunately I cannot say what it is without it being too revealing but it's along the lines of family member said I could have x, y and z and now they are saying they did not !

OP posts:
MightyOaks · 30/10/2022 05:12

So they're accusing you of theft?

Billybagpuss · 30/10/2022 05:15

Bluey2022 · 30/10/2022 04:59

Thankyou for your replies

Unfortunately I cannot say what it is without it being too revealing but it's along the lines of family member said I could have x, y and z and now they are saying they did not !

So they’re accusing you of theft? Can you not return the stuff

autienotnaughty · 30/10/2022 05:47

So they gave you something and want it back? I would return it (if you can)

Watchkeys · 30/10/2022 06:27

If it's just one person, ignore them. They can say what they like. You don't have to care about it.

Is anyone else in the family actually upset, as they claim? Or are they just fabricating others' feelings?

olympicsrock · 30/10/2022 06:34

Is this about you taking something from an elderly relatives house. Is someone saying that the things were not given to you?

rainbowstardrops · 30/10/2022 07:19

So I assume your understanding is that a family member gave you something/some things but now either that family member, or a different one, is saying they didn't say you could have them and are therefore accusing you of theft. Is that right?

nomistake · 30/10/2022 07:34

@Dreamwhisper eh? Surely the OP knows if they committed the crime or not...

Original poster
Bluey2022 · 30/10/2022 09:26

Definitely not committed a crime I would not dream of taking anything from anyone without permission

Unfortunately the actual item was not a physical object so not quite so straightforward as returning it as what I was given was for a specific purpose and has been used for said purpose

OP posts:
BobbyBobbyBobby · 30/10/2022 10:16

what was it?

inappropriateraspberry · 30/10/2022 10:22

I'm guessing that they gave you money, and are now claiming you stole it or it was a loan that you have to pay back. Are there any messages, emails etc to prove your innocence?

Original poster
Bluey2022 · 30/10/2022 10:25

inappropriateraspberry · 30/10/2022 10:22

I'm guessing that they gave you money, and are now claiming you stole it or it was a loan that you have to pay back. Are there any messages, emails etc to prove your innocence?

Nothing!! Very stupid in hindsight I know

OP posts:
inappropriateraspberry · 30/10/2022 10:28

Then they can't prove you stole anything either. I doubt the police would get involved, it's just your word against theirs. It may be a civil matter, and I wonder if they could take you to a small claims court?

Original poster
Bluey2022 · 30/10/2022 11:13

That was my inital thought process admitidly

However said person is adamant it can be proved so I'm not sure what to do next and I feel I am being bullied into admitting something I have not done

OP posts: