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Is it worth kids doing a levels getting a part time job, or would you prefer your schedule to concentrate on their studies ?

289 replies

GingerKittenTail · 29/10/2022 05:17

? The balance of a teen wanting to earn some money
but also having a lot to do work wise

what are your thoughts ?

OP posts:
toomuchlaundry · 30/10/2022 17:30

@Razzle5 your DC spends far more time on extra curricular and socialising than my DC spends on his hobbies, volunteering and working, so it is all relative. It would be interesting what posters like @shortandpaleandoldandugly think of your son's timetable

Sparklingbrook · 30/10/2022 18:08

I wonder where the OP @GingerKittenTail has got to? There's been loads of posts with opinions, and yet they've not replied to any...

WombatChocolate · 30/10/2022 18:23

All families have to work out what’s best for their kids don’t they.

Often the most successful kids are doing lots of everything. They are organised and manage to study hard, play hard, have a job and also achieve a good standard in their extra-curriculars. Sixth Form is an exciting time and there’s certainly time for more than study and to only do that in these important years would probably leave a teen, not that well-prepared for the world.

As a parent, I want my teens heading off to Uni to be well qualified so they can get onto great courses at top unis, but also be ready for the world and a level of independence they haven’t yet known. For me, that includes having socialised and faced decision making about social situations, being able to drive if at all possible, and having the confidence to deal with adults and unknown situations and people from all walks of life.

For me, I recognise that the DC have grown up in a bit of a bubble. Most if their time has been spent with people their own age and from similar backgrounds and who will go onto do similar type jobs. They have spent some time with others too through involvement in outside organisations, but they have mostly been children and young people and not with adults on an equal basis. For me, having a job, even if it’s for 3 or 4 months isn’t really about the money, although they like that. It’s about mixing with a range of people and learning g how to respond and deal with people and make their own decisions without a parent to constantly call upon. Dealing with the odd public, unusual work colleagues, having to sometimes assert themselves when they don’t feel that happy doing it, to communicate and to commit are all invaluable for going into the world and not really things you necessarily learn as you go into the next bubble of Uni. So in the same way I’ve always wanted my kids to do things like learn to swim, to play a musical instrument, to play sport, to get involved in clubs and activities, to learn to drive, to be able to chat to a range of people, Ive also hoped they would take a job in the sixth form. And when they have, the growth in confidence and self-reliance has been more notable than from any of those other things. They have gone from being pretty clueless and insular teens who wouldn’t push for a refund if faced with even the slightest resistance, and shying away from someone in the street who looks like they are rather ‘odd’ to teens who have confidence to make their own judgements, able to listen to others but also speak their own minds and to work in a team with people from very different backgrounds and ranging from teens for retirement age. It has been transformational. And I say this as a parent of kids who are already extremely high achieving and on target for successful careers and who already have strong relationships and fortunately so far, no particular difficulties or problems.

People often speak of grads being rather flakey…of wanting to leave work early, expecting others to cover for them and just not being able to work in a team. This is often people who on paper are hugely qualified and will go onto be great at their jobs, but as yet, haven’t grasped that the world doesn’t revolve around them. Having a little job whilst at school can help them get that sense that the world is a bigger place and they aren’t the centre of it…..and that’s a good thing in my view. Perhaps some parents who talk if ‘carefree’ years actually want to keep their children the centre of their own worlds for longer and to let them remain oblivious to stuff outside for longer…perhaps they see that as a luxury and knowing about the world something to be delayed as long as possible. I think some parents really do want that and think that perhaps even adults can avoid it by going from one bubble to another.

I guess I want my kids to know about the world and to know different types of people and to have empathy for different lives, whatever their own lives will end up being. If it’s not in the jobs they do as teens and students, when will those who go onto successful careers in law or medicine or finance get to know as real people, those who work in jobs they won’t do forever…get to known have an understanding of shop assistants, care workers, those on zero hour contracts…and get to know people as individuals not just a stereo-type? I want them to do that and I don’t feel they need protecting from the realities of the world at this age, but to have their eyes opened a bit more. But I’m pretty sure this is exactly what some parents want to avoid, whether it’s a knowing thing or something more sub-conscious.

CaronPoivre · 30/10/2022 18:45

@WombatChocolate Mine learnt about ‘real people’ and real lives. Probably more than most. Despite a degree of privilege, ours understood from a very young age that there were people who needed additional support, who were poor, who faced challenges. I suspect they had far greater exposure to wider society than those working at the Spar.

Sparklingbrook · 30/10/2022 18:55

I agree with you again @WombatChocolate

sheepdogdelight · 30/10/2022 18:59

CaronPoivre · 30/10/2022 18:45

@WombatChocolate Mine learnt about ‘real people’ and real lives. Probably more than most. Despite a degree of privilege, ours understood from a very young age that there were people who needed additional support, who were poor, who faced challenges. I suspect they had far greater exposure to wider society than those working at the Spar.

Well that's great.

But many young people don't. There's been a fair few posts on this thread where here posters have described their teenagers' horizons focusing solely around school, school friends, school activities and possibly one out of school activity.

if your teenager is of that type, I agree with wombat - it's a real positive to break your child out of their "bubble". of course, this doesn't have to be via a paid job, but could be volunteering, for example.

thing47 · 30/10/2022 19:04

For some kids a job might for all sorts of reasons be more beneficial than extracurriculars - and for others the opposite may apply.

I think @ErrolTheDragon has more or less killed this conversation with her far-too-sensible post… 😂

shortandpaleandoldandugly · 30/10/2022 19:05

I think extra curricular activity is enriching, sometimes actually in a way that directly supports academic study (music for example). It is also manageable in a way that paid work isn't always. In my experience over 20+ years as a teacher I have come across so many situations where "one extra shift" is offered and the pay has attracted the student resulting in a missed homework etc etc. Several teachers on here have made very similar comments.

Oh and to those who think A levels aren't full time I'm not sure what to say, except of course they are! The hours are supposed to be made up with private study!

alwayslearning789 · 30/10/2022 19:08

CaronPoivre · 30/10/2022 18:45

@WombatChocolate Mine learnt about ‘real people’ and real lives. Probably more than most. Despite a degree of privilege, ours understood from a very young age that there were people who needed additional support, who were poor, who faced challenges. I suspect they had far greater exposure to wider society than those working at the Spar.

The point is - it's not about other people who 'need additional support or are poor' or whatever, it's about themselves as individuals and what it opens up for their own maturity and growth.

Lots of middle class kids turn up in Retail for weekend jobs so it's definitely not Just About The Money.

toomuchlaundry · 30/10/2022 19:16

But surely the same could be said about music practice/sport, a student being asked to play another match, play in another concert, just like another could be asked to do an extra shift.

The son of the poster who listed his timetable spends more hours playing sport than my son does working

OnaBegonia · 30/10/2022 19:29

A very few manage both, but too high risk for us.
If your DC lives are so focused nearing obsession about study, is that more about your ambitions? Study shouldn't be to the exclusion of anything else.
I've never come across anyone with this fixation on study as I see on MN.

Sparklingbrook · 30/10/2022 19:40

Oh and to those who think A levels aren't full time I'm not sure what to say, except of course they are! The hours are supposed to be made up with private study!

That wasn't how it worked here! It was not equivalent to the hours of a full time job.

RampantIvy · 30/10/2022 19:50

When DD was tudying 4 A levels she got very few free periods at school. I think it was about 3 hours a fortnight. With the home studying on top year 12 was very full on for her. She dropped down to 3 A levels for year 13.

WombatChocolate · 30/10/2022 19:55

I think it’s great if teens are genuinely mixing with a range of ages and people from different walks of life. Some will get to do that without entering the world of work.

Many though, go to school and mix with people their own age and often from similar backgrounds, see family and don’t have much involvement with people who have very different life experiences. It’s not about ‘looking in’ and purely knowing about other people in a rather voyeristic kind of way, like a sort of project or trip to the zoo. It’s about actually spending time with and getting to know individuals along the way of doing a proper job, which shows them stuff about the world and themselves and their own values and can be incredibly formative. Uni can be pretty insular in terms of age and type of person met, and then grad careers can be similar too. Some adults lack any real empathy or understanding of others, partly because they have lived in bubbles. Personally, I think that’s a narrow life experience and that a wider experience during formative teen years stands one in good stead for being a bit more open-minded throughout life.

Sometimes it’s good too, to do things which aren’t all about enriching academic study or moving ahead and gaining a competitive advantage over other young people. The shop job might not be directly related to the degree. That’s fine and doesn’t make it a waste of time, because the you g person is gaining all the skills mentioned on many posts upthread of needing to be reliable, interact with adults, grow in confidence etc. It’s not a more worthy thing to do volunteering in a field you might later work in, or to pursue a hobby extensively. These are good things too and benefit young people vastly…and some see them as ‘better’ uses of a teen’s time than working in a shop or cafe…jobs which some posters certainly seem to struggle to see much value in, and to take the view that you’d only do those if your parent didn’t give you money and as a parent you’d only let your kid do if you couldn’t afford to give them money or had no aspiration for them.

Our teens were funded for most things by us. We’d paid school fees and we paid for trips, extra curriculars, driving lessons, clothes, leisure etc. We could afford generous allowances but chose not to give as much as we might have, encouraging a few hours work, which was rewarded with cold cash from the employer, but we wanted it for the experience mostly.

And I do agree that it’s important not to let work ‘creep’ set in. Some places might ask teens to do a few extra hours or extra shifts and you do hear of some working ridiculous hours which can be to the detriment of study. Boundaries about amount if work do need to be set and stuck to as part of the deal, and one of the things kids need to learn is saying ‘no’ to extra shifts offered by managers - this saying ‘no’ and being involved in a bit of negotiation sometimes is not itself valuable and something that those who haven’t worked just dont have experience of.

In the end, of course doing paid work isn’t compulsory and all families have to choose. It won’t work for all and those with really intensive extra curriculars and long school journeys might find it more difficult or impossible in term time. All I’m saying, is it can deliver huge benefits and so it’s something worth thinking seriously about by parents. Lots might have a natural aversion to the idea and it’s worth thinking about why that is and if the real reasons are valid or it’s worth thinking about a bit more because of the benefits. Often people cite studies as a reason not to….but often this is a false reason as students can attend school, do all their homework and further study and still have time to socialise, do extra curriculars and have a small job. It’s worth considering if the reason for an aversion to teens working is to do with perceptions of certain types of work, or potential snobbish values about those jobs, or ideas about parents needing to provide all the money kids need, or work being for a different type of kid, along with thinking more about the benefits that all kids get from going into the working world to be part of a team of people of different ages and from different walks of life. Everyone needs to reach their own conclusions.

What I would say and think most parents of teens can relate to, is that many of them can waste vast amounts of time being online…phones, gaming etc etc. Nothing wrong with some of this of course and ‘downtime’ is important, but many have limited extra-curriculars going on, in reality are not studying every evening until 10pm or full days at the weekend and have scope to certainly be doing more stuff. High achievers rarely just do academics in our culture. They are often the first to volunteer, do sport a high level, play music, have wider interests, see plenty of friends and know about the wider world. The paradox is that as they are busier (to a point, of course) they become more efficient as they have to learn to manage their time. Those who only have school often don’t work excessively, just procrastinate and loll around a lot.

lbnblbnb · 30/10/2022 20:47

I have had one child go through A levels, university etc. She had part time jobs throughout, cut hours drastically during exam periods. Employers were always very understanding.

She got excellent results, now at the LSE.

My thoughts:

  • you can't study ALL the time; your brain needs breaks etc to absorb information.
  • she met people, got to know about different things by working
  • she gained confidence, independence and determination through working
  • she has a better appreciation of money

Son is now in year 11, has a job. I imagine it will work in a similar way.

I honestly don't see how someone could study for so many hours that they wouldn't be able to have a part time job too? I say this as a teacher too.

Sparklingbrook · 30/10/2022 20:56

It's a real shame @GingerKittenTail didn't return to the thread. How strange to ask the question and just disappear.

DrunkOnHim · 30/10/2022 22:37

Sparklingbrook · 30/10/2022 20:56

It's a real shame @GingerKittenTail didn't return to the thread. How strange to ask the question and just disappear.

It happens a lot on here.

Its more a shame that some people can’t accept that their way isn’t the only way. There’s no right or wrong. Some kids work, some don’t, it can work out either way. I can’t imagine being so bothered about whether other people’s kids have a part time job or not between 16 and 18.

Sparklingbrook · 30/10/2022 22:39

It just seems the sort of question you’d ask if you genuinely wanted to discuss it. I’m now thinking journo or something 🤷‍♀️

Razzle5 · 31/10/2022 07:51

I think a lot of the very committed mumsnetter presume that everyone must be as committed to mumsnet as them. To many it’s a dip in, forget about it, pop back when you’re bored / at a loose end, but may be days or weeks between popping on

Sparklingbrook · 31/10/2022 07:59

Razzle5 · 31/10/2022 07:51

I think a lot of the very committed mumsnetter presume that everyone must be as committed to mumsnet as them. To many it’s a dip in, forget about it, pop back when you’re bored / at a loose end, but may be days or weeks between popping on

Maybe if browsing and commenting on the odd thread here and there but to go to the trouble to start one, asking a question-it's a bit weird to never return to it IMO.

I'm not particularly 'committed' though.

Razzle5 · 31/10/2022 08:01

She only started the thread two days ago!

Razzle5 · 31/10/2022 08:02

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Sparklingbrook · 31/10/2022 08:04

Razzle5 · 31/10/2022 08:01

She only started the thread two days ago!

He/she could have replied to a few of the comments to start with if they were that interested. Is it normal to start a thread then go back after two days or more to look and see if there's any replies? Confused
I must try this new way of posting on MN.

Razzle5 · 31/10/2022 08:05

The OP asked for thoughts. She got them. Job done.

Razzle5 · 31/10/2022 08:05

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