Did covid screw anyone else's life up?

[girlmeetsboy]

Interested to hear on this as I have been reading a thread where people loved the solidarity of it all. For me it was redundancy, house lost, business lost and savings...

@CoffeeWithCheese

What a shame that a thread where people shared beautifully written, emotionally raw and honest feelings is now being jumped upon by those who want to deny the harms of lockdown. The thread was pretty calmly and evenly balanced between those who'd suffered bereavements due to covid, those who have long covid and those who have suffered or have family members who've suffered because of the lockdowns... and then some people come along and try to ruin it.

There's no denying that lockdowns harmed many people, but also no denying that catching covid also harmed many people (and killed some) and is still doing so. Both were always going to happen. The question is one of balance, i.e. did we do too much, not enough, too long, too short, etc etc. Should we have locked down our borders like New Zealand and simply not allowed travel in/out of our Island? I've likened it in previous posts in 2020/21 to being given two guns and told to shoot yourself, your choice being the left hand or the right hand. We, as the whole World, were never going to come out of such a pandemic unscathed. As I say, the question is one of balance.

I think your analogy works best with an amendment

given 2 guns

one with 1 bullet in a 9 round chamber (covid)
one with 4 bullets in a 9 round chamber ( lock down non direct deaths)

Agree with all of this. I'm doing my literature review for my MSc atm on the effect of lock downs on MH of teens and young adults and the statistics are horrifying. Loneliness, hopelessness, SH, suicidal ideation (and attempts), eating disorders (my DD1 is in recovery from this as well and it was difficult for us). Outside coping mechanisms gone... Sport, clubs, friends etc. I'm a therapist so have seen all the issues first hand, as well as in my own children and myself (I've had long covid but it's thankfully getting easier). Some recognition of the effects would go some way to healing.

As much as seeing this even now is hard our borders are very different to NZ, we have road traffic bringing vital goods for a start.

Yes agree. They were hugely let down.

For those of you waiting for CAHMs support, they have received extra funding - £40m to address some of the backlash from the lockdowns.

I have seen they are already onto big time recruitment, so hopefully these waiting lists will start to go down soon.

www.england.nhs.uk/2021/06/funding-boost-for-young-peoples-mental-health-services/

Obviously, not one news outlet has covered this, but that is another thread entirely.

I'm so sorry for you all and the trauma you've lived through.

I think this should go in classics or be made into a book. It's an important story that should be told, perhaps to influence future decision makers

Those who have missed out on partnership and parenthood reminds me so much of the women who lost a generation of men during WW1 and WW2

It's created a generational pain.

I'm sorry sorry. Thank you sharing. These words are so important.

Yes. Really moving post, I agree.

@falafelqueen similar experience really. Plus with my circle of friends all within themselves trying to recover/ process/survive this Winter I'm feeling lonelier than ever. Each day is just going through the motions rather than enjoying life and enjoying the anticipation of fun things on the horizon

In re losing friends, many of mine have drifted away, moved away or have become flakey. But I am filling the void with lots of activity groups and meetups: walking, book clubs, local heritage etc etc. Hope to eventually make friends within these. In the meantime, I am just setting a low bar and saying that it is good to get out of the house.

I agree. This should be made into a book.

Worldometer shows that 6.5 million died of covid, is there any evidence millions and millions died from lockdown?

I literally do not know anyone who died from covid. My mum died during lockdown from something unrelated, the coroner said they automatically test for covid. If she had covid then this would be added to the list, of causes of death. She was negative but it did make me wonder how many deaths are attributed to covid, but not the actual reason they died?

I lost a couple of people to covid. The first in April 2020. He couldn't get into hospital. He was 50 and previously healthy. His mum phoned 999 because he couldn't catch a breath. They asked her a series of questions : does he get out of breath walking across the room - he can't walk across the room; is he getting out of breath while sitting up - yes; if you put the TV on is he able to watch it [ie basically is he conscious] - yes.

Eventually his lips went blue so she called 999 again and he did get admitted and put on a ventilator but he died a week later. His mum is raising his daughter now. The NHS failed us in lots of ways when we stayed at home to protect it.

The costs of lockdown are huge.

My elderly neighbour went out every day prior to covid. She was fierce independent, incredibly knowledgeable and up to date. Now she is in the throes of dementia; doesn't know her own name, what year it is or that she has kids/grandkids.

I've got friends who've also seen the same in their relatives.

DD(7) missed her entire reception year at school and I'm gutted for her. She's in her last year of KS1 now and I feel as though we've been robbed of her younger school years. Thankfully she's doing very well academically, but I cannot say the same for some of her classmates who regressed hugely.

It's awful.

I think it's going to be very difficult to ever calculate accurately how many deaths there would have been if there were no lockdowns. Firstly with deaths from covid itself, then additional deaths from the health service being overwhelmed.

Even more cancer patients missed, ambulances that never arrived, operations cancelled, patients dying in hospital corridors or the streets with no one to treat them.

I want to thank you OP for starting this thread.

It's been somewhat releasing in a way or maybe cathartic, sharing and reading everyone else's experiences. Probably not the right words for it.
I cried many tears at the heartbreak, loss, and suffering everyone has been through here.

I'm also angry about it and the after affects brushed away like nothing ever happened.

My city had 262 days of lockdown. That's 3/4 of a year. Close to 9 months.
Our border closed beginning in 19 March 2020 and opened 21st Feb 2022.
That's a fucking 2 year prison sentence.

It was a global crisis. And a lethal one. It was shit, Covid 19 was shit and the attempts to save society collapsing were fucking uncomfortable. Some were right, some were wrong but there were made under extreme pressure and scale.

Realistically, there were no great options.

Thankful though that we haven't got Johnson as PM as he would lock us down again, very unlikely to happen with Sunak, though Hunt was a lockdown lover too so maybe not so good that he is chancellor. I wouldn't be voting for lockdown lover Starmer either, I won't forget these people in a hurry and their attitudes towards lockdown

It's a good thing that Johnson is no longer PM but there is no way he would've locked us down again. He would've been out on his arse if he tried it, and he knew that. There were rumours last Christmas, ie before the fine, that he wanted more restrictions but didn't try and implement them because his party wouldn't have it. If they didn't want it in December 2021, it certainly couldn't happen later.

Yes I lost a few friendships and really missed doing my volunteering which was good socialisation for me as I lack confidence with people. That all went to pot when lockdown came along. It messed up routines that I had and those routines I've not been able to get back to. I missed my weekly visits to my brother. I was with a group and did a nice weekly lunch at a church both of those have ended now as the volunteers who ran it are no longer available since lockdown happened so they are permanently closed down. And a few people I know who were alcoholics turned to drink and never returned to support groups because 2 years of lockdown made them socially anxious and stay away forever.

Covid was shit and caused lots of deaths but that’s the nature of a pandemic, sad as it is. Lockdown was a choice so the harms from that were avoidable.

My daughter started training as a jeweller. She scraped together the money but the course closed down shortly after she started. She missed out on virtually the entire course and never got her money back. She then enrolled on another course at University to do an MA. The same thing happened. She’s left in massive debt but having missed out on all the practical training she needed. You can’t get practical skills via zoom. It makes me angry that the course providers got to keep the money and her life was virtually ruined. She became very depressed and it damaged family relationships greatly.

Same for Uni students too. My ds just came home for months on end whilst still paying thousands for Uni accomodation and had poor teaching but no offer of even a partial refund. I think some students are currently challenging this.

I understood the first lockdown. It was needed and I was able to prepare my children for it. They understood that it was something extraordinary and their school was brilliant at understanding that everyone was doing their best and mental health was paramount.

I did not understand the other lockdowns. In wales the rules were all over the place. School access felt like the hokey cokey. Playgrounds remained locked after pubs had opened. My oldest child was bullied by a kid who had had no real parenting throughout the pandemic (and who we now know had an undiagnosed disability). My kids hated the uncertainty of not knowing whether they'd be allowed to go to school from one week to the next, it made them very anxious and did untold harm. School started insisting that stupid handwriting/spelling/other exercises must be completed, by kids who had become completely resistant to homeschooling, while I tried to work full time as I had throughout the pandemic.

I started the pandemic with 4 healthy next door neighbours (2 sets of couples). They were all "young" retirees. Enjoying life. All 4 are now dead. None died from covid but I have no doubt that in 3 out of 4 of the deaths, lockdowns were a factor.

We were all broken by the 3rd, 4th, 5th set of rules... so I think talking about "lockdowns" as if they're one thing is unhelpful.