Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Don't know what to do - go off sick or suffer??

50 replies

OnTheRunWithMannyMontana · 26/10/2022 16:57

I really need help with a dilemma please.

I have a really stressful job. So much so that it's making my physically ill. I don't sleep, I'm having a psoriasis flare up all over my body including in my eyes and ears, I vomit every morning because my stomach is churning so much. I'm having panic attacks every day.

I leave in 2 weeks time for a new job. I have a lot to handover and this is just adding to my stress.

Current job have been really shit with me. Refusing to acknowledge or pay the additional 50 hours per month I've worked since May. Refusing to credit back holiday hours where I've worked on annual leave. Refused requests for an additional team member and instead accused me of not being productive enough. My direct manager has made jokes about my physical disability and suggested I have "over-exaggerated" even though I am a wheelchair user with no use of my legs.

My husband thinks I should see the GP tomorrow and get signed off for the last two weeks BUT I still have so much to hand over before I go. I feel such a sense of responsibility that everything is on order before I go. But it's literally killing me.

WWYD??

OP posts:

Augend23 · 26/10/2022 16:58

Get signed off.

They don't care about you. Stop ruining your life for them.

Chewbecca · 26/10/2022 16:58

Your husband is right. Your health is more important.

ArcaneWireless · 26/10/2022 17:02

In all honesty, they give not one shiny one for you.

I would afford them the same courtesy.

KnickerlessParsons · 26/10/2022 17:04

If you could be bothered - it sounds like you have a case for constructive dismissal. This is appalling:
My direct manager has made jokes about my physical disability and suggested I have "over-exaggerated" even though I am a wheelchair user with no use of my legs.

CrazySchoolTimes · 26/10/2022 17:05

I leave in 2 weeks time for a new job.

Take the two weeks off to recover for your new job. That's your future!

LondonLovie · 26/10/2022 17:07

Honestly- take the leave an don't look back.

I learnt a long time ago, the hard way, that no one is irreplaceable and loyalty like this is hardly ever rewarded or recognised.

No one ever said on their death bed "I wish I had worked harder"!!

Enjoy your new job

chocolateisavegetable · 26/10/2022 17:07

Exactly what everyone else has said

Montague22 · 26/10/2022 17:08

You never hand everything over that you want to when you switch jobs.
We are all totally replaceable in the working world.
If for pride reasons you need to give yourself max 2 days to tie up some of the loose threads. I’d consider a call to HR the union as part of this.
Then get signed off.

Squizzas · 26/10/2022 17:10

I leave in 2 weeks time for a new job.

Take the two weeks off to recover for your new job. That's your future

I agree. Your employer sounds shit. Why should you endure another two weeks of feeling so dreadful when you can use the time to focus on feeling ready for your new (and hopefully much better) job. Good luck. I hope this is the start of much better times.

Angelik · 26/10/2022 17:13

Fuck em. Go sick or take your owed leave! Rest, recover and start your new job fresh. Well done for getting new job when experiencing such a shit situation.

Starlightstarbright1 · 26/10/2022 17:15

I would also take the 2 weeks.

As pp said take the 2 weeks to recover.

CarPoor · 26/10/2022 17:15

Get signed off.

Your are ill, you need a fresh start in 2 weeks and want to be able to give your best to your new jib

Your work have treated you appalingly, who gives a fuck what happens to them? Don't stress about handover, it's not your problem anymore

Dacadactyl · 26/10/2022 17:15

Go OP. Leave them to get on with it. And I would be saying that even if they were being lovely to you.

You should work to live, not the other way round.

ZooTropia · 26/10/2022 17:15

Go sick
You dont ever have to see them again

Twizbe · 26/10/2022 17:16

Get signed off.

They don't care so why should you. Place a few 'merde bombs' in there for good measure lol

GoodVibesHere · 26/10/2022 17:19

They are treating you absolutely appallingly, and it's a miracle that you haven't left already. 100% get signed off in this situation.

I'm sorry you're going through this, please take some time to unwind from it before starting your next role.

Axlcat · 26/10/2022 17:26

Absolutely go off sick. You are sick and therefore should not be working.

I am so angry on your behalf for the way you have been treated - as someone upthread has said, it sounds like you have a strong case for constructive dismissal.

It may be worth putting in a grievance whilst you are still employed by them, outlining the fact you have resigned as you feel you have no other option due to their withholding of pay and disability discrimination. you can then decide if you want to take this further.

The most important thing right now is to not go back and rest and let them know that you are unable to work due to the stress they have subjected you to. Take care.

StickofVeg · 26/10/2022 17:34

Get signed off. It's your health and that comes first.

Hadalifeonce · 26/10/2022 17:37

It sounds like they have been using you. You owe them nothing, get signed off sick for 2 weeks, to enable you to start your new job feeling a lot better. Good luck in your new job.

Bestcatmum · 26/10/2022 17:52

That's outrageous. I wouldn't expect you to stay no matter what the circumstances handover or no handover after treatment like this and I am very dedicated to my job.
You have a clear case for constructive dismissal here.

Original poster

OnTheRunWithMannyMontana · 26/10/2022 18:33

Thanks all.

Yes definitely a case for constructive dismissal. She actually said to me "well you can't be that disabled if you can go to the toilet when your husband isn't home". I was too gobsmacked at the time to say anything. But honestly with how much stress I am under at the moment I don't think I could cope with a grievance.

I'm struggling with a real sense of guilt about not handing over though. I think I need to make a list of what I need to handover and think about what they would do if I dropped dead or something!

OP posts:

JeniferAllisonPhillipaSue · 26/10/2022 18:37

That is absolutely disgusting.
Please call in sick. You can self certify for 7 days.

Axlcat · 26/10/2022 18:41

@OnTheRunWithMannyMontana i completely understand you not feeling able to cope with a grievance. When you are getting so stressed and unwell the last thing you probably want is to have to drag it all up and go through that.

Please do go off sick though and use that time to heal and get ready for your new role. You owe them nothing and shouldn’t feel guilty. Perhaps it would help if you acknowledge the fact that you’ve already worked more than your hours and they owe you money?

I wish you well - thank goodness you are out of this toxic place.

hesbeingabitofadick · 26/10/2022 18:41

Get signed off.

They have brought any issues arising from not having a handover upon themselves by treating you so badly.

TheTeddyBears · 26/10/2022 18:41

Don't give them a second thought! Certainly do not feel guilty they have been horrible to you and it's made you I'll get your gp to sign you off for the 2 weeks and breathe again, relax dee stress and more importantly sleep!

Flip

1 2