Like a lot of women, I didn't go back to work after having children. DH earned 3 times what I did, so it made sense for me to stay at home rather than spend more than my salary on childcare.
Once the DC were both at school, I went back to uni, did a post-grad, and set myself up as a freelancer. Thanks to Covid getting in the way, it's only now, nearly 4 years on, that I'm actually starting to get a decent amount of work coming through and things are taking off. Financially speaking, it doesn't make anywhere near as much as DH's job - but it could. Potentially if this continues to go well I could end up the main earner.
Anyway, we were looking our schedule for the next couple of months, and there's one day when I have to leave at the crack of dawn to travel to a job, and he "has" to be in the office. Someone needs to be at home - not all day, just till the DC (10 and 8) go to school. My mum can collect them and look after them till one of us - probably me - gets home.
To be clear, one of us has options, the other one doesn't. I have to be physically present to do my job, and I have to be there by a certain time - the event can't start without me. DH works flexibly, from home 70% of the time, and it's largely up to him which days he physically goes into the office. In addition, he likes to leave the house at 6am to be in by 7am - but he doesn't have to be. There's absolutely no reason he can't take the DC to school then catch the train by 9am.
He's not saying I have to cancel or anything daft like that, but he's being absolutely inflexible. He "has" to be in the office that day, and can't possibly go in a bit later. He's just to said to me "I can't just tell my work I can't make it in because I have child care issues."
YES HE BLOODY CAN! How the blithering feck does he thing other people - including other people in his own organisation - manage, when they haven't the benefit of a Me picking up all the family and domestic slack for over a decade?! He's never once had to look after a sick child, or leave early to attend a parents evening, or a school play or put himself out in anyway, and in spite of the fact he's knows I'm working too now, he's still expecting I'll just magically sort this stuff without him having to be involved in anyway.
I've left it with him to sort, and made it very clear he has to. And I get this is going to be an adjustment period for him, and he's broadly quite supportive - so long as it doesn't inconvenience him! I'm just so frustrated. My work matters too!