Do hoarders have special awareness which differs from the norm?

[TheLightSideOfTheMoon]

DP has hoarding tendencies. Mostly it’s contained in his room - a room chosen for this purpose.

However, every now and then he’ll get upset because the room is ‘messy’. But he won’t remove anything. He can’t understand that it’s not just a tidiness issue, the stuff WILL NOT FIT onto shelves/into cupboards.

It’s almost as though he expects the space to grow to accommodate the stuff. Obviously it won’t.

Is this normal? Because it’s frustrating.

Do hoarders not look at other rooms or other people’s homes and just observe that there are fewer things?

What’s the deal?

I hoard and have always known it's wrong. In fact I didn't hoard as a child/teenager so much as I didn't have much. But when I got to 25 and got a significant inheritance and access to credit cards then I spent and bought a lot, and still do (but trying to cut down).

For me it's definitely down to childhood poverty, not having much stuff/clothes and so on.

I do keep it confined to a spare room and bedroom but it's messy. On occasion people have tried to sort it out for me (mostly SIL). Funnily enough certain rooms like the living room I don't hoard in.

I have got rid of loads of stuff from a few years ago like letters, things from the past, in fact some things I wish I'd kept!

@TheVanguardSix I think that is a real gesture of love to your children. I wish my mother had a little of this mentality. She still has all of her mother's belongings in her cellar. My grandma died 17 years ago, but my mother found it too painful to go through her belongings and clear them out. It spiralled from there and I think her mother's death triggered her hoarding tendencies, or at least amplified them. I do often worry about what I will be left to cleanr up once my own mother passes. It will undoubtedly be an enormous task and I don't quite know how I'll do it. At this point I have given up on the idea that my mum will ever tackle the mess herself during her lifetime.

Yes, there is no sympathy or companion for hoarders. Only in my support group have I ever felt someone genuinely wanted the help.

If I was an alcoholic at least I'd be fun. If I was suicidal there would be compassion but this is seen as dirty and disgusting. It's the repulsive MH condition that is repugnant therefore very hard to seek help for.

@HoarderAMA I agree. I see so many threads like this where the solution is to just chuck everything away when the hoarder isn’t around. My ex used to do that, and the total lack of control of my stuff just made me worse.