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Do you ignore any school parents that you were friendly with before?

51 replies

heartbroken22 · 23/10/2022 00:12

Why?

OP posts:
Golden231 · 23/10/2022 00:15

To be honest, I used to be friendly with many fellow parents, but over the years they have for more distant. I found some were just draining and know it all's.

Abcdefgh1234 · 23/10/2022 01:04

Yes. Turns out her kid is not good influence for my kid. And she is a “benefit abuser”. How would i know? Because she told me herself. Very proudly because she is cheated the system. I really dont want my kid or myself know that kind of people.

Bearwolf · 23/10/2022 01:24

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Citycentre3 · 23/10/2022 01:31

Yes, ever since I expressed an interest in dance classes for my then 4 year old. Other parent did not approve so she began being very "off" with me. Ignoring me at pick up etc, only talking to me occasionally. Six months on she has started sending her daughter to classes. I found out from another parent. On the day the classes are on she tells me she is rushing to "Lidls". Very very peculiar behaviour all round.

DaftyLass · 23/10/2022 04:48

I did because they because they became super competitive over trivial things, and only wanted to kiss ass around the teachers.

JMAngel1 · 23/10/2022 05:45

I think it’s just the natural ebb and flow of friendships. 7 years is a long time to go through those primary school gates and there is only so much to say to some people that hasn’t been said 1000 times. I am only be bothered to speak to mum’s that I click with now and have a genuine rapport with. I think when DCs go to reception, there is a lot more eagerness to chat with all the parents but as time goes on (my youngest is now in Year 6), we become jaded and can’t summon up the energy to be that chatty with everyone anymore. Our children’s friendship groups change too and that can affect the dynamic.
I would say out of DD’s class, I would genuinely only want to speak to 2 of the mums.

Malariahilaria · 23/10/2022 08:52

JMAngel1 has it exactly. I was relieved when eldest left primary, now I'm head down when I take the younger one in. I'm over it all and focus my energy on friendships that I really enjoy. Some perfectly nice parents there, just that the whole urge to chit chat to facilitate my child's social life has gone.

Carrieonmywaywardsun · 23/10/2022 08:57

Citycentre3 · 23/10/2022 01:31

Yes, ever since I expressed an interest in dance classes for my then 4 year old. Other parent did not approve so she began being very "off" with me. Ignoring me at pick up etc, only talking to me occasionally. Six months on she has started sending her daughter to classes. I found out from another parent. On the day the classes are on she tells me she is rushing to "Lidls". Very very peculiar behaviour all round.

I'm confused, why does she not approve?

Citycentre3 · 23/10/2022 09:10

Carrieonmywaywardsun · 23/10/2022 08:57

I'm confused, why does she not approve?

Wish I knew!

EmilyGilmoresSass · 23/10/2022 09:18

Abcdefgh1234 · 23/10/2022 01:04

Yes. Turns out her kid is not good influence for my kid. And she is a “benefit abuser”. How would i know? Because she told me herself. Very proudly because she is cheated the system. I really dont want my kid or myself know that kind of people.

So... you're stereotyping the child on the assumption they will grow up to do the same? And therefore your daughter misses a potentially good friendship because you chose her friends?

GodInventedAmazon · 23/10/2022 09:29

EmilyGilmoresSass · 23/10/2022 09:18

So... you're stereotyping the child on the assumption they will grow up to do the same? And therefore your daughter misses a potentially good friendship because you chose her friends?

Or additional to her child being a bad influence ? Why not ask rather than jump to conclusions?

Gmamaofboys13 · 23/10/2022 09:36

When my DC started school, I got speaking to another mum. Things were fine, she did make some comments that I found difficult to understand (calling polish people vermin, admitting to fb the parents of children in our class, being horrible about people who are on benefits, always moaning about her dp, saying she slammed her phone down on him and turned her phone off, comments about her own DC like when she smiles she looks constipated and her breath smells of poo).

Anyway, one day she saw me coming into the playground and walked off ignoring me. There was no argument, discussion or anything. A month or so later another new family joined the school, and my ex friend went off with the new mum. No idea what I did or said wrong, but both turned around glaring at me, ignoring me, talking about me. To the extent their children in the past have told my DC what they've heard their mums saying (I'm wicked, witch, fat, crap, ugly, ridiculous). One child even said to my DC 'once upon a time there was a little boy called DC name who lived in a Forest...in the forest was myname witch, and myname witch is fat, crap, ridiculous ect'.

I used to speak to mum's partner, and now he ignores me as well.

No idea what I've meant to have said or done...was quite awful at the time, I used to feel so anxious going to do the school run.

The new mum who started, her DC is friends will my DC, and they have play dates and she'll say hello and speak to me if the other mum isn't about, but blanks me when she is about.

I have tried to say hello, but she just blanks me. On a few occasions, I've moved my pram and dog out of the way so she and her DC can walk past as there isn't much room. She just blanks me, and doesn't say thank you for giving way and letting her past?

Very strange behaviour, thankfully DC is leaving the school in the next couple of years.

coffeeisthebest · 23/10/2022 09:51

Citycentre3 · 23/10/2022 09:10

Wish I knew!

Did she tell you that tho? Otherwise your examples of how she has ignored you aren't terribly clear and could be down to her being busy. As could needing to rush to Lidl while her daughter does dance.

Veryverycalmnow · 23/10/2022 09:56

EmilyGilmoresSass · 23/10/2022 09:18

So... you're stereotyping the child on the assumption they will grow up to do the same? And therefore your daughter misses a potentially good friendship because you chose her friends?

There is an AND. So I don't think that is implied.

MiniPumpkin · 23/10/2022 10:00

Yes. Weren’t close close but frequent contact/messaging. Then she dropped off and I never asked about it as not that fussed, that might sound awful but I have enough friends to be chasing people. I suspect she looked into my family history as she is a police officer. I am squeaky clean however. She walks passed me some days so I do the same. I know how immature that sounds but couldn’t care less

IncompleteSenten · 23/10/2022 10:01

What do you mean by ignore? Look straight through you, don't respond when you say hello? That sort of thing?

If it's that, then no. That's just rude.

But when my children left a school I didn't maintain contact with parents I used to say hello to and chat with at the school gates. There was just no need to carry on.

Golden231 · 23/10/2022 10:11

I was very friendly with some parents in the yard, but some were just awful and looked down on you for no reason. I usually found the Grandmas and Grandads were a bit nicer.

Golden231 · 23/10/2022 10:14

our yard is just too clicky. Some people just ignore you, and gossip behind your back, or others are like google and want to know everything about you. I find it quite draining

LadybirdsAreNeverHappy · 23/10/2022 10:16

Gmamaofboys13 · 23/10/2022 09:36

When my DC started school, I got speaking to another mum. Things were fine, she did make some comments that I found difficult to understand (calling polish people vermin, admitting to fb the parents of children in our class, being horrible about people who are on benefits, always moaning about her dp, saying she slammed her phone down on him and turned her phone off, comments about her own DC like when she smiles she looks constipated and her breath smells of poo).

Anyway, one day she saw me coming into the playground and walked off ignoring me. There was no argument, discussion or anything. A month or so later another new family joined the school, and my ex friend went off with the new mum. No idea what I did or said wrong, but both turned around glaring at me, ignoring me, talking about me. To the extent their children in the past have told my DC what they've heard their mums saying (I'm wicked, witch, fat, crap, ugly, ridiculous). One child even said to my DC 'once upon a time there was a little boy called DC name who lived in a Forest...in the forest was myname witch, and myname witch is fat, crap, ridiculous ect'.

I used to speak to mum's partner, and now he ignores me as well.

No idea what I've meant to have said or done...was quite awful at the time, I used to feel so anxious going to do the school run.

The new mum who started, her DC is friends will my DC, and they have play dates and she'll say hello and speak to me if the other mum isn't about, but blanks me when she is about.

I have tried to say hello, but she just blanks me. On a few occasions, I've moved my pram and dog out of the way so she and her DC can walk past as there isn't much room. She just blanks me, and doesn't say thank you for giving way and letting her past?

Very strange behaviour, thankfully DC is leaving the school in the next couple of years.

That is a really awful thing to have to go through. Could you talk to the school about it? You shouldn’t have to put up with that and neither should your dc. That woman is a bully.

MulberryMoon · 23/10/2022 10:21

I probably have done as I'm bad at recognising people. Sometimes people would say hi as if they knew me and I wouldn't have a clue who they were. Obviously I'd just say hi back not ignore them. If I knew someone a bit better I'd recognise them. It's if I've say spoken to someone at a party or school thing I might not recognise them next time I saw them. Someone said hi to me at a bus stop and I said hi and smiled and they told me whose mum they were and I'd previously had a long conversation with them but wouldn't have known I knew them. Another time I was on a course with someone I saw every day and when I saw them on a bus I had to ask how I knew them. I've also mixed up mums before

roundtable · 23/10/2022 10:23

Went on a school mum's night out. Found out afterwards that one mum had drank alcohol and then drove home. Didn't speak to her after that.

Also the ones that are always accusing all the other children of bullying theirs on social media groups. This has happened from early years and they are not. My Dc have never been accused so it's not me being defensive. Plus moaning about every single little thing that the school does. Drama lovers. Get a hobby.

The mum who always has a tales of woe and terribleness and tells you about them unsolicited. Also dances and sings on the school gate. Massive attention seeker.

There's probably

Bigbadfish · 23/10/2022 10:24

Yes. I need to get in and get out. I'm not there to make or maintain friendships just for the school run.

roundtable · 23/10/2022 10:24

Accidentally posted!

There's probably more. I have a short tolerance for people who seek drama. I like a peaceful life.

Paris2023 · 23/10/2022 10:24

Yes two. One because she liked to ignore me and just had a bit of an attitude.

the other because she used inappropriate language so for example she’d say to her 5 year old son… ‘oh you’re so sexy’ I mean come on the word ‘sexy’. I just stopped seeing her.

BagpussBagpussOldFatFurryCatpuss · 23/10/2022 10:26

Yes, when she started using me as her child’s personal taxi driver and her personal childcare provider.