Page 2 | Do you ignore any school parents that you were friendly with before?

AlternativelyWired · 23/10/2022 10:34

She turned up with her drug-added husband driving the car to give my child a lift to an event. Her own dcs were in the car and he was not supposed to be driving at all. I could never forgive her for putting her dc and mine in danger.

Another friend was an alcoholic and started posting abusive rants about me and my situation (single parent on benefits) on Facebook for all the world to see.

Another (FWB) who suddenly erupted one day over two small planters I had on my garden because it affected his ability to park on my lawn. He was shouting and swearing in front of my dc, one of which he was like a dad to. Thankfully he moved.

I'm autistic and struggle with friendships as it is but these 3 were completely cut out of my life for good reason. I don't miss any of them yet at the time I loved them dearly.

Silverangels · 23/10/2022 10:42

I was mates with a woman at the school gates-we where both skint teenage mums

she did crap like ‘borrow’ money to pay for her dds tooth fairy as she was skint,and then fucked off to bingo later that night,and gambled £100 away or let her two run riot and trash my house,before taking them home,leaving me with the mess

i could deal with that to a point but them stuff started to go missing

the odd £10 out of my purse,a pair of shoes,a top/trousers or a necklace I had put in my jewellery box etc

i thought it was me being silly until some make up and my phone just vanished into thin air-I know where I left both,and she’d been the only one in the house for days (apart from me and dd who was 5 at the time)

the next day,her stepdad had the exact same phone as me and she was wearing the same colours on her face as the make up that had gone missing

i can’t prove she did steal but as soon as I cut her out,nothing else went missing

OnGoldenPond · 23/10/2022 13:24

Gmamaofboys13 · 23/10/2022 09:36

When my DC started school, I got speaking to another mum. Things were fine, she did make some comments that I found difficult to understand (calling polish people vermin, admitting to fb the parents of children in our class, being horrible about people who are on benefits, always moaning about her dp, saying she slammed her phone down on him and turned her phone off, comments about her own DC like when she smiles she looks constipated and her breath smells of poo).

Anyway, one day she saw me coming into the playground and walked off ignoring me. There was no argument, discussion or anything. A month or so later another new family joined the school, and my ex friend went off with the new mum. No idea what I did or said wrong, but both turned around glaring at me, ignoring me, talking about me. To the extent their children in the past have told my DC what they've heard their mums saying (I'm wicked, witch, fat, crap, ugly, ridiculous). One child even said to my DC 'once upon a time there was a little boy called DC name who lived in a Forest...in the forest was myname witch, and myname witch is fat, crap, ridiculous ect'.

I used to speak to mum's partner, and now he ignores me as well.

No idea what I've meant to have said or done...was quite awful at the time, I used to feel so anxious going to do the school run.

The new mum who started, her DC is friends will my DC, and they have play dates and she'll say hello and speak to me if the other mum isn't about, but blanks me when she is about.

I have tried to say hello, but she just blanks me. On a few occasions, I've moved my pram and dog out of the way so she and her DC can walk past as there isn't much room. She just blanks me, and doesn't say thank you for giving way and letting her past?

Very strange behaviour, thankfully DC is leaving the school in the next couple of years.

I wouldn't be surprised if it's because you chatted to her DP and she thinks he fancies you. Some people are very weird like this.

roundtable · 23/10/2022 13:52

Oh and I forgot about the one who tried to have an affair with my DH!

I feel more sorry for her than anything though. She made a fool of herself and her marriage must be not great.

WrongLife · 23/10/2022 14:06

Yes as my kids have grown up I've gone back to working more hours so I have less time for casual friendships. I'm not "not talking" to them, but it's drifted as we rarely see each other due to wraparound care, and I don't have the time to keep up with people who I was never really close to

Begoniasforever · 23/10/2022 14:12

This is the absolute proof no one should give a shit about school gate cliques. It’s passing fake friendships to suit an immediate need and no more.

Abcdefgh1234 · 23/10/2022 22:21

@EmilyGilmoresSass well. I know her so well. She got 3 other kids. 2 of his oldest expelled from school because doing drugs and the one that in same class as my son is often get detention. They are year 2. Surely its a matter of upbringing.

so yes. I really believe if your upbringing its no good its gonna affect you as a person.

Original poster

heartbroken22 · 29/03/2023 22:41

Just to update reception I spoke to a lot of school mums but know in year one it's hard because we don't have to wait in a queue. I perhaps speak to 1-2 mums and it's just hi bye.

OP posts:

SushiGo · 29/03/2023 23:09

A lot of mums go back to work after their kids start school and are just busier in the morning with less time to chat.

I wouldn't read too much into it.

Thisisabsolutelyfine · 29/03/2023 23:12

Malariahilaria · 23/10/2022 08:52

JMAngel1 has it exactly. I was relieved when eldest left primary, now I'm head down when I take the younger one in. I'm over it all and focus my energy on friendships that I really enjoy. Some perfectly nice parents there, just that the whole urge to chit chat to facilitate my child's social life has gone.

Definitely agree

MaryDerry · 29/03/2023 23:32

There were 2 mums I liked and would see occasionally socially. We got to know each other through our children who played together, each others homes for tea etc..

One day in the playground at hometime they were talking and I (and the rest of the playground due to a failure in her volume control) heard 1 say to the other "he's not got special needs, he's just a fucking spoilt brat." Then did an impression of some my son's disabilities. Sadly her diagnosis of him just being spoilt was way off.

I've not spoke to her since. I can't be civil to her nor the other parent. That was 4 years ago. Our paths cross and I still get the rage when I see them.

Original poster

heartbroken22 · 29/03/2023 23:50

@MaryDerry ffs that is horrible. I feel the same about one parent who I thought was a good friend but was backbiting about me here there and everywhere. She saw my child as weak then got fire up her bottom when she realised how clever she is compared to her child so belittles her. To my face. Deleted her number and we don't talk anymore. Thank the lord.

OP posts:

Original poster

heartbroken22 · 29/03/2023 23:51

@MaryDerry I'm so sorry you went through that. Do your kids still play together in school?

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MaryDerry · 30/03/2023 00:04

heartbroken22 · 29/03/2023 23:51

@MaryDerry I'm so sorry you went through that. Do your kids still play together in school?

They are all secondary school now. My son doesnt hang around with the child whose mum mocked him - my son said he started being abit mean to him.

The son of the parent who didn't mimic my child (but laughed) is still friendly with my son.

The son visits our house and if his parents are giving him a lift they stay in their car now - once the mother came in and I could not speak to her, my DP had to do the small talk. I didn't want to create a scene with the boys in the house but that scene in the playground goes through my mind each time I see these mothers. I probably came across very rude and I hate rudeness. But I don't give a flying fuck.

StellaGibson2022 · 30/03/2023 00:18

Im currently being ignored by one (who happens to be my DCs bestie’s mum). In all honesty it is my own fault as I thought we had developed a friendship but I said a few things that unintentionally pissed them off. I have apologised which I thought was accepted but the next time I saw them they asked me not to talk to them and has ignored me ever since. I feel absolutely awful about offending them.

it is affecting my DCs friendship - no more playdates etc. The parent has also ignored my child on two occasions which has caused some confusion for them and has added to how awful I feel.

it has made me wary of speaking/making lots of effort with other parents. Its very awkward and its a massive regret.

Wedoronron · 30/03/2023 00:24

Gmamaofboys13 · 23/10/2022 09:36

When my DC started school, I got speaking to another mum. Things were fine, she did make some comments that I found difficult to understand (calling polish people vermin, admitting to fb the parents of children in our class, being horrible about people who are on benefits, always moaning about her dp, saying she slammed her phone down on him and turned her phone off, comments about her own DC like when she smiles she looks constipated and her breath smells of poo).

Anyway, one day she saw me coming into the playground and walked off ignoring me. There was no argument, discussion or anything. A month or so later another new family joined the school, and my ex friend went off with the new mum. No idea what I did or said wrong, but both turned around glaring at me, ignoring me, talking about me. To the extent their children in the past have told my DC what they've heard their mums saying (I'm wicked, witch, fat, crap, ugly, ridiculous). One child even said to my DC 'once upon a time there was a little boy called DC name who lived in a Forest...in the forest was myname witch, and myname witch is fat, crap, ridiculous ect'.

I used to speak to mum's partner, and now he ignores me as well.

No idea what I've meant to have said or done...was quite awful at the time, I used to feel so anxious going to do the school run.

The new mum who started, her DC is friends will my DC, and they have play dates and she'll say hello and speak to me if the other mum isn't about, but blanks me when she is about.

I have tried to say hello, but she just blanks me. On a few occasions, I've moved my pram and dog out of the way so she and her DC can walk past as there isn't much room. She just blanks me, and doesn't say thank you for giving way and letting her past?

Very strange behaviour, thankfully DC is leaving the school in the next couple of years.

The fact she was a xenophobic bitch should have been a red flag. I would have walked away at that comment alone.

SnobblyBobbly · 30/03/2023 00:30

Yeah for sure. I unfollowed them all pretty much on social media after the kids left primary school. To me School friends are like work friends, when it’s finished they mostly fade away except the odd one, maybe two. When the enforced sharing of space is over, that’s generally the end of the road.

Avarua2 · 30/03/2023 02:54

Yes, because I'm not one for small talk and I have a lot of stuff to do. So I rush off. I don't have time to hang about chatting. It's not personal!

iamcatz · 30/03/2023 02:58

Because I got sick of being the one who initiates the hellos. She would stare and stare as we walk towards each other but doesn't say hello or smile. One mum I learnt has autism so fair enough but the others???
I smile to acknowledge people who are too far to shout hi to but the fucking staring and then blanking me when I'm close enough for them to say hi first is weird. I must have said hi first 10 times and they said hi first 2 or less. It's like they're scared to be seen talking to me.

Zuyi · 30/03/2023 03:01

Yes, all the time. There are so many Mums! I forget their names and it's embarrassing if they remember mine. I have kids at three different schools, plus activities and although I wish all the mums well, I don't always want to talk to them. I have attention fatigue, I want to just let my brain rest sometimes.

Zuyi · 30/03/2023 03:09

StellaGibson2022 · 30/03/2023 00:18

Im currently being ignored by one (who happens to be my DCs bestie’s mum). In all honesty it is my own fault as I thought we had developed a friendship but I said a few things that unintentionally pissed them off. I have apologised which I thought was accepted but the next time I saw them they asked me not to talk to them and has ignored me ever since. I feel absolutely awful about offending them.

it is affecting my DCs friendship - no more playdates etc. The parent has also ignored my child on two occasions which has caused some confusion for them and has added to how awful I feel.

it has made me wary of speaking/making lots of effort with other parents. Its very awkward and its a massive regret.

It's pretty unusual to tell another mum to keep away. I've never heard of such a thing. Either you said something absolutely terrible (but what?) or they are very strange and you shouldn't let them get you down. There are lots of kinds of parents. They are endless!

Abcdefgh1234 · 30/03/2023 04:13

EmilyGilmoresSass · 23/10/2022 09:18

So... you're stereotyping the child on the assumption they will grow up to do the same? And therefore your daughter misses a potentially good friendship because you chose her friends?

Show quote history

Did you hear my first sentence?. The kid not a good influence on my son. He is a good kid when he is in reception. They were best friends. But then when they year 1 and 2 the kid being very naughty and bullying my son. One day he even take my son new shoes and bring it home. I phone his mother and ask about my son shoes and his mom says yes he bring it home. And i went to their house to take it back. You know what his mum is angry to me, he said why would i come? I can just wait until tomorrow and they will give it back. No even said sorry to me. My son have SEN and no room for kids like that. Very damaging to my son. And yes i do believe good parents make a good kids.

HeyDiddleDumplings · 30/03/2023 05:31

Yes, a mum lost it with my DC and started shouting at them. I mean really shouting. I had move to my DC away in hysterics and tell her to get a grip.

Her DC are always in trouble at school (and out) for their behaviour and I think she likes to jump on others and bring them down.

I can’t stand her now and won’t acknowledge her.

TimeForMeToF1y · 30/03/2023 06:02

Avarua2 · 30/03/2023 02:54

Yes, because I'm not one for small talk and I have a lot of stuff to do. So I rush off. I don't have time to hang about chatting. It's not personal!

So you were friends with people then you got busy and started ignoring them?

Why did you we've bother being friendly in the first place then?

sunflowerdaisyrose · 30/03/2023 06:11

I don't chat to any parents now from my eldest's year unless they come up to me. He's being directly bullied by a couple of classmates and quite of few of his 'friends' take part more passively. I find it very uncomfortable in the playground now so I arrive at the last possible minute and chat with my youngest while we wait.

Do you ignore any school parents that you were friendly with before?

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