What's the girls equivalent of Eton & why?

[Dinaprettyballerina]

Just out of interest which English girls school is the one all sharp elbowed parents are trying to get their girls into? Eton has a reputation for having the pushiest parents with alot of overseas parents who are extremely invested in getting the very best education & getting their child in at all costs.. what is the female equivalent?

I am glad you're experince was positive, and even preferable to the local schools. I am also sorry that you're day school was horrible and glad you were moved to a safer place.

You are right that there are risks with any education or care setting.

I still think there are certainly children who are at greater risk than they would be at home, for some the disruption of healthy attachments, or the fact that you can't escape abusive staff or bullies at the end of the school day, the more limited comunication with parents can enhance vunrability.

This is not to say that children can not be in just as much risk or more in other settings.

But I do think it's good for parents to be aware of potential issues particularly around boarding school syndrome type difficulties and safe gaurding before they consider this form of education.

I expect also the risks vary from child to child and setting to setting, a very young and timid prep school age child, a child or preocupied parents, or who's parents are overseas and doesn't get home often or a child with comunication difficulties in a residental special needs setting may be more at vunrable for example than a confident 16 year old, who openly talks with their parents about any serious worries in an very well run senior school an hours drive from home.

My experience of boarding was certainly not positive, by no means the worse Ive heard of either. But I experinced or saw sexual harrasment, mistreatment, physical discipline, bullying and medical neglect. Their was very little privicy, education was poor quality, safeguarding and comunication with parents was lax.

Close to 30 years ago, not a big named school, but not inexpensive, a fairly small but well regarded one in a country house.

In my son's case they were not interested.

In the 2nd case the girl felt unable to go to the police.

My son was 12 at the time, he is now 18, it is a long time ago now and we got him out of there,

@Comefromaway and @Gracelynn very sorry to hear about your experiences. Appalling to read and completely heartbreaking.
I do think that safeguarding has improved across the board in all types of schools, even if these changes are all too recent. If anything, the fear of consequences is very real.
Don't you think?

I think state schools would be more inclined to investigate signs of neglect. Things such as badly fitting clothes/ shoes, child arriving to school hungry, frequent absences, child arriving late consistently, parents picking up late consistently. Parents never attending parents evenings or answering emails. Child never having correct kit or equipment. I have witnessed all those and similar in private schools. Sometimes (certainly not always) “documented” but that’s it! Could be very disorganised parents, but could be deliberate neglect. It’s not about forcing them to love their child, it’s about basics.

@MissyB1 I see, yes basics. I agree with you that this kind of neglect, if not extreme, wouldn't be investigated in a typical private school. In fact, if it became too much, the school would probably 'let go' the child.

That is shocking. A similar incident happened at DC's (private day ) school Police were involved and the boy was expelled. The school did its own investigation too.

Sorry to hear what your family went through, but glad you got him out of there, it will make all the diffrece that you stood up for him and quickly made sure he was taken out of there.

MissyB1 thank you for answering my question.
Did you ever report evidence of neglect that you witnessed in the private school you worked in or bring it to the attention of the headmistress/master?

I would hope safeguarding has improved, people do seem more aware of safeguarding issues and I am sure they'll be more accountability if safeguarding systems are working as they should.

But sadly as you say it may be that things haven't changed quickly enough. The school I attended unfortunately has been slow to improve, the child of a freind of a neighbour who's in their early 20's now had a similar experince there, and as recently as four years ago there was talk of an act of physical violence against a pupil.

Also for some children, athough surely not all, there are anecdotal accounts that even a good boarding school can cause issues, due to seperation from parents before a child is ready etc.

Definitely brought to attention a few times, either asked to “just make a note” or was totally dismissed as making a fuss. Asked about reporting but told very sternly that wasn’t my role and there was no need.
I did do an anonymous report to child protection myself once.

I did do an anonymous report to child protection myself once.

That’s interesting. Was it followed up?

Academically - St Paul's girls, Guildford high, nlcs
Traditions / boarding with still decent academics- Wycombe , CLC

Overall I'd say Wycombe

Boarding school in 2022, Jesus wept 😫

Boys or girls, all these places do is create institutionalised soldiers, followers not leaders. They are prime candidates for the PM role, perfect little puppets. People have a bizzare pre-occupation with social climbing and what they perceive as wealth. You only have to look at Boris and Rushi, no empathy, no independent thought and no regard for the ordinary person.

I do think single sex education may have peaked. So many private schools are becoming co-ed, probably to increase intake and funds.

I took my DS around some schools, we're looking at secondary and some of the options are single sex. He asked why it was just boys and I told them it was because they were old schools and they had always been just for boys.

He then asked if a brand new school was built would it be co-ed or single sex and I told him it would be co-ed.

When was the last single sex school built?

Yup.

I do think single sex education may have peaked. So many private schools are becoming co-ed, probably to increase intake and funds.

This takes us back to the original question about what is the girls's equivalent of Eton and there isn't one really, because girls often didn't get a formal education. If you think of the late Queen - by the time she was twelve they knew she would inherit the throne but was still educated at home, whereas her father and uncle had been sent to naval college in their early teens.

That's not actually true. Unlike a lot of boarding schools who rely heavily on overseas money, Marlborough is so oversubscribed, there is no need for them to, so numbers are tiny from other countries.

@Prophetorwell I don't believe that, the normal British toff can't afford these prices anymore...

@Mammytothreelo I have a DC there. I can assure you there is plenty of money in this country! (Not us - we have help.) Heavily London-based parents and many live/work overseas in financial hotspots. Eight girls apply for every space available (not quite so competitive for boys) and they have an intake of 200 each year.

Let's say I know Marlborough well. There is a drug issue in the private school (as there is in many schools) along with bullying at the 'outstanding' academy. I wouldn't send a dog to either.

www.telegraph.co.uk/education-and-careers/2022/11/10/old-boys-networks-arent-just-men-proof-power-elite-girls-school/

"This week, a survey from the universities of Oxford, Exeter and The London School of Economics showed that women who attended one of 12 particular private girls’ schools are 20 times more likely to feature in Who’s Who. None of these establishments comes as a surprise. There is Cheltenham Ladies’ College, North London Collegiate, Wycombe Abbey – and my own alma mater, Saint Paul’s Girls’ School in Hammersmith – all of which now join the rogues gallery of Eton, Westminster, Winchester and Harrow as ‘important engines of inequality’."

You’d think The Telegraph would have written St Paul’s correctly.

Rubbish! I’ve no doubt some dabble in drugs, as many teens do, but there’s no ‘drug issue’ at the school. To say you wouldn’t send a dog there is pretty disgusting, and it’s clear from that comment you don’t know it well at all. It’s the happiest school I’ve ever seen and my DC dreads the day they have to leave, they love it so much!

@Prophetorwell
I am assuming you don't live in Marlborough?
My uncles and elder brother attended the college.
You are entitled to be happy with the education that you have bought but don't call another poster a liar.
If you want some history on the behaviour of pupils in the town do your research. The local paper is called The Gazette and Herald.