What's the girls equivalent of Eton & why?

[Dinaprettyballerina]

Just out of interest which English girls school is the one all sharp elbowed parents are trying to get their girls into? Eton has a reputation for having the pushiest parents with alot of overseas parents who are extremely invested in getting the very best education & getting their child in at all costs.. what is the female equivalent?

QM (nice school as it is - one of my DDs went there and there are lots of good things about it) really isn't the northern equivalent to Eton. It takes day girls, for starters. It's a nice, ordinary girls' day/boarding school catering for all girls from the bright to the dim-but-rich. It's absolutely nothing like Eton...

My mistake. My mother went to St Pauls and I was sent to Notting Hill & Ealing. I always thought they sent me there because of the connection. Apparently not.

Sloane Rangers 😁

www.irishmirror.ie/showbiz/celebrity-news/rishi-sunaks-little-known-link-28315618

I was just going to ask why the rich & powerful weren't sending their girls to board! Hopefully Rishi's eldest will go on to have a great education like her parents.
Where did Harper move onto?

@Ericaequites my cousins girls attend Nightingales in NY, I gather that is super exclusive & expensive?

No idea. But actually in retrospect I was feeling a bit uncomfortable naming schools that children of slebs plus the new PM are attending. If I knew how to do it, I’d have my OP deleted…
suffice to say the PM won’t be sending his kids to the local underperforming comp.

@JimTheShit it's in the papers, it's not like your divulging private information... Personally I find it intriguing where those in power overseeing our kids & their education send their kids to school... It sends a message to me that state school is fine for the great unwashed but their children deserve more...

@Dinaprettyballerina Yes, Nightingales is very posh. I went to a girls’ school in Providence to a rural Seven Sisterscollege. The NYC girls were snobbish and reckless. They would run across new ice on the campus lakes with the ice cracking under their feet. As a country mouse, I know who would have to crawl seal style with a stout stick to pull her out while others ran for help. I’d been a Scout, and read the right sort of books.

@Ericaequites sounds like my cousins girls. We've met them 4 times & they are very streetwise & cosmopolitan for tweens! My cousin & his wife are both very high flying barristers & education is everything to them. They're forever bringing the girls to "Europe" at any opportunity! Skiing, sailing, culture etc.. Totally invested in the dd's, would love their money. I gather it's normal in their circle though...

Yes, Nightingales is very posh

Are students at private schools in America considered ‘thick entitled poshos’ as they are here? (well on mumsnet anyway - I’ve never met anyone in rl who voices those opinions).

Yes, sadly often the case. There is the idea of 'boarding school syndrome ' highlighted in books such as: BOARDING SCHOOL SYNDROME: THE PSYCHOLOGICAL TRAUMA OF THE ‘PRIVILEGED’ CHILD by JOY SCHAVERIEN
or a book for suvivors with a more personal feel..Home At Last: Freedom from Boarding School Pain by Mark Stibbe.

I wonder why no one ever talks about the fact that for some, boarding is whole lot better than living at home.

@Hermenonville it’s true that for some it’s preferable to home. That makes me so angry (and sad) though, how bad must home be that a child is better off in boarding school?!
I find some rich families in private schools get away with a type of neglect, because it’s not considered important enough to be reported. Also the schools don’t want to upset parents.

@MissyB1Any parents from any walk of life can get away with emotionally abusing children, I really don't think it has anything to do with money.
For me boarding was heaven, the rules were for everyone, and clear and easy, the houseparents were warm, smiley, attentive, respected pp's feelings, personal space and belongings, most children wanted to make friends, and fun was encouraged. It was amazing, I loved it.

That may be so for some people, but it is still perhaps a poor subtitute for a healthy family environment. There are definitely those who will speak up the benefit of such schooling though. I have a freind who grew up with an alcholic father who beat him with a belt and deprived the family of necessities such as suitible food and clothing. In the end his mother after considering trying get him into a school she couldnt afford, left him in the care of relatives for a large part of his childhood. They treated him reasonably well. He returned to home full time after sevral years and his father had stopped drinking and found religion, things were more bearable then athough he was aclatch key kid. So for some children "been sent away" wheter to school or otherwise might be better that the alternative than a toxic or abusive home, but also may not be a fully healthy alternative.

Despite it argubally having some benifits it is taking a risk to send a child, particularly a vunrable or very young child.

@Gracelynn Well, arguably there are risks with everything. There were sexual predators and abusive teachers at my day school, sexual predators at after school activities, but I didn't see any of this when boarding. I grew up in a very well-to-do, very nice little town. My parents would have passed any 'good parent' test easily, I never knew better, no family was coming to rescue me. Boarding school might seem a poor substitute to you but I am very grateful for it.

Redmaids is full of daughters of sales directors and bank managers. Hardly posh! Totally different level to clc and others mentioned.

I find some rich families in private schools get away with a type of neglect, because it’s not considered important enough to be reported.

MissyB1 could you enlarge on this, please?

I totally agree with this... Posh mum having alcohol during the afternoon totally acceptable... Council estate mum social services called...
Feral kids running barefoot at posh campsite acceptable as the wildlings are free & enjoying nature.. Poor children doing similar unacceptable & parents seen as neglectful
Posh kids missing school acceptable as they were skiing... Poor kids missing school unacceptable regardless of the reasons...

I feel like the bar is set at a different level in some private schools (I work in one, and worked in another until last year). What would probably trigger concern in state school often gets brushed under the carpet in private schools. Its like "yeah it's not great but hey ho they aren't getting beaten, and they go on lovely holidays so ...."

That's interesting @MissyB1 .

I can relate to that a lot - immense privilege but hand in hand with some pretty basic needs going unmet at times. I haven't put the two together before but I wonder if that is why I feel so viscerally that my children will be safer in state school.

@MissyB1 not being funny but what do you think would happen in state schools that wouldn't in public schools? Get social services to force pp to love their children?

A private school totally swept under the carpet that a boy took naked photos of my son in the PE showers and threatened to put them on the internet. They did the same when a 14 year old girl was being sexted/asked for nude pics by a 6th former. The boys parents were alumni and very well regarded in the school.

Some Private schools will not report things that would be flagged in a state school.

Despite there much more limited resources safeguarding was taken much more seriously in the state school I moved my son to.

@Comefromaway that school needs a little visit from the police and to answer charges, doesn't it?

@Comefromaway and very sorry to hear what happened I hope you DS is ok.