Has anyone cured themselves of chronic procrastination/avoidance?

[Appalonia]

For me I feel like it's just got worse. My procrastination and avoidance of issues gets so bad that I create huge issues in my life that could have been avoided if I'd tackled a difficult situation at the start. But because I feel like I can't cope with it, I keep on putting it off until it's so so bad that I have to finally deal with it. I hate myself for being like this and promise to myself I will change, but seem unable to do so.

I was the youngest child and was frequently told I was useless, clueless, stupid etc and feel like these messages have been so subconsciously ingrained in me that I doubt my own ability to deal with stuff and I get huge anxiety trying to deal with things that most people would just think of as normal everyday stuff. Can anyone relate, and found a way to overcome this, please?

Quite! Not every negative personality trait is due to a mental health or developmental condition!

I'm the Queen of procrastination. There's nothing wrong with me. I'm just a bit lazy and don't like doing boring things!

Definitely look up executive dysfunction - yes it's an adhd trait but adhd manifests very differently in most women and girls.

There are a lot of tools and strategies to help you cope with this. Apps that gamify to do lists to help you get that dopamine hit. To do lists of achievable goals.

Tbh my friend nailed it recently when he said in order to complete his current project he'd probably need to start a new one, get it to almost finished and as soon as those deadlines were looming he'd fine the motivation and drive to complete his current one.

Sorry HRTFT but Good luck. You are not hopeless but even worthier a diagnosis if you can understand how your brain works you can mitigate your usual pot holes more easily.

I’m a huge procrastinator and it’s getting worse as I get older. Trouble is, the worry of putting stuff off takes up so much energy, that when I finally DO the task, the sense of relief is so palpable.

Its often much easier than I think it’s going to be!

I try and hang on to the sense of relief, and remind myself how much better I’d feel.

What I find best is Lists and accountability.

I'm very organised and live by lists, but I'm finding it increasingly hard to work through my list of jobs methodically, getting stressed and seemingly unable to settle to tasks in a timely manner. The nasty ones get put off and off. I'm years post menopausal and I don't have ADHD.

My theory is that as parents (mums in particular) we are constantly being interrupted and called upon to avert some crisis or solve some problem, from the second our first child is born. Over time this takes its toll - we're in a constant state of "brace for interruption", so find it hard to get to work on a major task. I can do little jobs easily - wipe the surfaces, sweep the kitchen floor, make meals and sort laundry - but big things like my tax return or online shopping feel impossible. Even when the teens are at school, I'm still in a state of hyper alert, waiting for a call or a text to say something I wasn't expecting!

I am getting better at this.

My job helps. I see clients on an appointment book which keeps me very productive.

Traditionally I used to let the writing up and paperwork build up but I have learnt that a ruthless assistant and a 20min soothing podcast with a fancy coffee at lunchtime every day helps me plough through it.

I also have asked for a slightly earlier finish to the day so my assistant can make me a list and double check everything. She gets rewarded very well.

I would love to hire someone like her a couple of hours a week to go through my personal life admin, tax affairs and present me with a list of things that need doing on a weekly basis. I can then set aside some time and an episode of something while I crack on.

What has also helped at home is a Sunday summit.
On a Sunday evening we go through the week, where everybody needs to be, what they doing when and what people need to get done.

So today is:

Husband wfh, get some assignments in, business lunch, DS to football.

DS1 - biology test at school, homework, football practice

DS2 - school, reading, football practice

Me - laundry, 2x tax returns, phone calls voluntary work, dinner, football practice.

I find that if I set it out on a weekly basis, and plan with everyone, we all pull together to get things done.

If I was left to my own devices I just faff the day away.