Has anyone cured themselves of chronic procrastination/avoidance?

[Appalonia]

For me I feel like it's just got worse. My procrastination and avoidance of issues gets so bad that I create huge issues in my life that could have been avoided if I'd tackled a difficult situation at the start. But because I feel like I can't cope with it, I keep on putting it off until it's so so bad that I have to finally deal with it. I hate myself for being like this and promise to myself I will change, but seem unable to do so.

I was the youngest child and was frequently told I was useless, clueless, stupid etc and feel like these messages have been so subconsciously ingrained in me that I doubt my own ability to deal with stuff and I get huge anxiety trying to deal with things that most people would just think of as normal everyday stuff. Can anyone relate, and found a way to overcome this, please?

I expect you might relate to this article

I have to ask -tomato? Why is it called that?

OP I work on pure fear factor, never quite got over my student days. I put stuff off for so long and spend so much time stressing about it..and then it takes me 45minutes to complete. I'll never understand why I put myself through that.
At work i use a whiteboard to do list so that I can visually remind myself of tasks, and rub them off when complete (and know people will see if I have late stuff on there, guilt factor works) and I try to block time out in my calendar for tasks. Doesn't always works today I made a whole PowerPoint presentation for something in three weeks time instead of the project I needed to write for tomorrow... But sometimes it does.

No idea why it's called that but Google it. Explains it well.

Pomodora is one of the things adhd coaching post-diagnosis introduced to me

"How to ADHD" on youtube is great on a variety of ADHD/ ND issues and she covers procrastination and "the wall of awful"
It is helpful to consider what it is that's causing the blockage, maybe fear of the process/ outcome, previous experience, time, boredom.
Sometimes my problem is completing one stage of a process and then it's kind of done in my head and it's hard to psych back up again for each stage.

"Mirroring" can be good; watching youtube videos of people doing the same kind of task helps, or podcasts.

Hi, check out Dr David Maloney’s videos on procrastination on YouTube. he has lots but here’s one -

Also @ withcoachgrace on Instagram.

Both explain the psychological causes of procrastination, mainly that it’s rooted in emotional avoidance. Solution lies in becoming aware of what emotions you’re avoiding and developing tolerance for feeling your feelings instead of avoiding them.

Place marking as this resonates so, so much 😬

Also placemarking

Placemarking to come back and read some of the articles but just wanted to agree with the suggestions around looking at menopause and HRT if it’s potentially appropriate age for you - definitely helped, although didn’t resolve things, for me …

Also place marked for dd

I did until I started adhd meds 2 weeks ago. Still not perfect, but much, much better!

Yeah, someone showed me this and I read some more Tim Urban stuff.

Btw, Pomo door is named after the tomato shaped timers that were originally used to make our focus times. I use Bear Focus Timer or Forest as apps which use the same approach (dedicated focus time followed by short breaks)

The Pomodoro Technique is named after the novelty tomato-shaped kitchen timer the person who invented it used. I guess if they’d had an egg timer or something it might have been called something else!

The technique does work though, it’s very helpful.

@NoSquirrels @Isthisjustnormal that makes sense, I couldn't work out the connection 😂

Hi OP. I am so sorry about the way you were treated when you were a child. They should never have spoken to you like that, and it was totally unjustified. Parents are supposed to praise their children's achievements, however small, and they didn't do that. They belittled and insulted you instead.

No wonder you feel the way you do. It wasn't your fault that they destroyed your self-esteem, was it? No, it was their unkindness. You are not useless at all.

Please try to look at things in a new light, and imagine that they had been kind, loving and supportive of you instead. Be kind to yourself, and tell yourself that what they said to you all those years ago was wrong.

have a listen to I have ADHD Podcast

there are some great resources there that have helped me so much

Following

i also think I have adhd for these same reasons. Waiting list is at least another year to see. Would love to go private but can not afford it at the minute. Hoping meds will eventually help. Trying AD’s at the minute without success

I know I have ADHD but I'm not bothering to get diagnosed because I wouldn't take medication.
But, discovering I have it about 2 years ago has been hugely helpful for me. I look at my behaviours through that lens and I don't feel uniquely weird or a bad person anymore. When I procrastinate, I remind myself that it's an ADHD thing, and even knowing that makes me more likely to smile at myself and just get on with it! Or say I'll do it tomorrow and stress less. And looking up strategies online has also helped me too.

Also bookmarking. I just kept nodding to previous posts.

I am exactly the same OP :(. Things like getting a parking ticket but not paying within the timeframe so it goes up. Or knowing for a whole year I have to pay my tax return and waiting until it's overdue and getting fined for filing it late. Or knowing I have to renew my car insurance and shop around but leave it too late so it auto renews at a high rate. Honestly hate myself for being disorganised but I don't know how to change ☹️

This has been a huge issue for me all my life. In school, I would often do the homework as the teacher was going around the class checking we had done it.
At college/uni, I was staying up all night to get it done to hand in the next day.
If we got set a task in class, I just could not do it. At the moment, I am going to an art group for people with mental health issues... we get shown how to do something and I just can't do it there. I have to do it at home.. the night before the next session.
My house is disgusting. I haven't cleaned the kitchen floor in months. It will be Halloween soon, which means my house will be on theme with the amount of dust and cobwebs everywhere. I try to start cleaning, but I feel so uncomfortable inside that I can only manage a couple of minutes.
I have had to pay increasing fines for parking/declaring vehicles SORN, because I could not pull myself together enough to tick a box and post the form off.
My UC is due to be reviewed any day now. I had help with it in the past but I have no one now. Knowing how I am, I will end up not filling in the forms and having zero money coming in.

I have never bothered to look into ADHD as I was under CMHT for years, and surely they will have picked it up.

Yes, I used to be. I was Diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type in my 30's . I'm on medication now and it has made a big difference.

Sounds like classic symptoms of ADHD to me! I wouldn't count on it being picked up. I was treated for years for anxiety and depression without anyone suggesting ADHD. It's often missed in women.

Those of you that got disagnosed as an adult, did it take a long time? I've read here it can take years on the NHS (and that was before covid), and if you go private, your GP often won't accept the private diagnosis/prescription?

I'm convinced I have it and struggle a lot, and the above apparent mountain to climb makes me procrastinate even on getting a diagnosis