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Original poster

Relative keeps asking to borrow money

51 replies

Redhop · 16/10/2022 22:42

I have a relative who keeps asking to borrow money.
They are younger than me, have never had a job, parents the same. Not benefit bashing at all, they have been raised in the system, they know no different.
I work full time and have just taken on a weekend job to keep us going. We are as least off as we have ever been.
We have nice things, a lovely house and shiny cars, bought with equity from a doer upper that we lived in for years with no hot water/electrics etc. as well as inheritance. I feel they do not know this but think we are rich from looking in from the outside. Anyway, none of their business.
I don't want to give them a penny as I am just finishing my shift at my 2nd job having done 56 hours total this week while they have done 0. Im waiting for my uniforms to finish in the wash ready for 8 am so cant even get in bed.
I want to convey this but not seem like a dick saying it outright but I think their lifestyle just expects handouts. I always give the money and it is usually paid back once their benefits go in but I am so fucked off right now. They have not paid back twice also

The message said
Hi Sam, can you lend me 20 til Friday and I'll give u 30 back??

I have not replied and have had a further ?

Help meh

OP posts:
Threelittlelambs · 16/10/2022 22:44

Hi Sorry i’m really broke this month, big repair bill just came in and X needs new shoes. Hope someone else can help. …. Add pleasantries

JustGiveMeTwoMinutes · 16/10/2022 22:45

I would text back and say sorry you are short this month yourself

notdaddycool · 16/10/2022 22:51

Problem with answers above is that they encourage them to try again in the future. Maybe add, and I’ve had too many bad experiences lending money, so don’t do it anyway. There are to make oriole if you lend it to you won’t get it back.

FindingMyself1999 · 16/10/2022 22:52

Hi, Bank of Sam is closed. Cost of living and all that!

mrsjimhopper · 16/10/2022 22:53

Either ignore it or tell them you don't get paid until Saturday.

Or replay with something that doesn't make sense like "I'm at work" or "I don't know" or something similar. They won't know how to reply as it doesn't make sense and unless they have massive brass neck they won't want to ask again.

Or say "lol am I a loan shark now 🦈" If they'd appreciate that kind of humour. Then maybe "yes ok but this is the last time don't be asking me again lol" etc excusing the cringy language but it's part of the ploy.

Cattytabby · 16/10/2022 22:58

How about " I am struggling myself and have to work extra hours to pay the bills"?

If you are able, you could offer to lend the £20 on the proviso that they understand this is the last time.

You probably won't get this one back though.

murasaki · 16/10/2022 22:58

Sorry, no can do.

You don't need to explain why. But you do need to nip it in the bud.

redbigbananafeet · 16/10/2022 23:01

Sorry no, despite working 56 hours this week I'm still finding thing tight.

Magn · 16/10/2022 23:03

Afraid not but came across this job ad that might be good for you?

Beautiful3 · 16/10/2022 23:03

Just message back saying, "sorry I can't afford it." It nips it in the bud.

Ginger1982 · 16/10/2022 23:05

Just say no. Why is this so difficult to do?

Imogensmumma · 16/10/2022 23:05

I’d pay them 20 this time , and tell them you can’t lend anymore in the future as you are having to work two jobs to make ends meet

Underscore21 · 16/10/2022 23:05

redbigbananafeet · 16/10/2022 23:01

Sorry no, despite working 56 hours this week I'm still finding thing tight.

^
This

iRun2eatCake · 16/10/2022 23:08

Hi

Things are tight for us as well so l can't, so can l have back xx that you owe me from xx

JetBlackSteed · 16/10/2022 23:08

a relative saying lend me 20 and I'll pay you 30 back, smacks of someone who needs help with loan sharks.

iRun2eatCake · 16/10/2022 23:08

I wouldn't have given them more money after not being paid back previously.

Takenoprisoner · 16/10/2022 23:08

Magn · 16/10/2022 23:03

Afraid not but came across this job ad that might be good for you?

Do this every time. They'll stop asking. And also the "I'm working 56 hours a week" as per pp.

lennylion · 16/10/2022 23:09

"No"

converseandjeans · 16/10/2022 23:10

Just be honest & explain you are now working two jobs just to cover bills. I don't think you need to give any other reason. Or you could just ignore the message.

GreenManalishi · 16/10/2022 23:11

It's ok to say no, because you don't want to do something, especially lending money to someone who doesn't reliabley pay it back. You don't need to explain, or justify why you don't want to. Their choices are not your choices and vice versa, don't let guilt sway you into it.

Hello, thanks for your text, I'm not going to be able to help you out with that, sorry. See you soon.

Chances are you might not see them any time soon when they realise the bank is closed, but that's fine too.

Takenoprisoner · 16/10/2022 23:13

Or reply with something that doesn't make sense like "I'm at work" or "I don't know" or something similar. They won't know how to reply as it doesn't make sense and unless they have massive brass neck they won't want to ask again.

This really made me laugh! It's genius actually. It shows you don't even have time to consider their request seriously, or even read their message properly and respond accordingly in between working 2 jobs.

EstellaRijnveld · 16/10/2022 23:16

Send them a casual job ad from a supermarket instead, they'll never contact you again.

OnTheBrinkOfChange · 16/10/2022 23:17

Say oh I was just going to message you to ask for that money back that I lent you as I'm completely skint. You won't hear another word from them.

grayhairdontcare · 16/10/2022 23:18

Would love to help but I've had to take on a second job to cover our own bills .
So it's not going to be possible to help out for the foreseeable.

Winceybincey · 16/10/2022 23:21

just say “sorry, I’m struggling myself now and can’t afford my bills so I’ve had to take on a second job. As soon as I get paid my money is gone on my ever rising outgoings. I hope someone else can help you going forward”.

raised in the system or not, everyone knows that you work for what you want unless there’s something such as illness stopping you. If you don’t put a stop to it it will never end.