Ok so I have NC’d for this and tried to keep it brief but to be honest this is so bizarre I’m not sure that makes much difference.
At my old job that I left a couple years ago I worked with a woman, let’s call her A who has learning difficulties (possibly relevant), we were not close but we occasionally made small talk etc and she was nice. A added me on Facebook and through her posts I saw some of her life and photos of her fiancée that she later married.
I am very good friends with someone who still works at my old job and we regularly catch up. A year or so ago she told me that A’s husband also started working there and he too had learning difficulties (again possibly relevant), she said they are both lovely, get on well everyone and are good at their jobs etc.
Then around 6 months ago my friend tells me some terrible news that A’s husband has died. Although I didn’t know him I felt sad and was sorry to hear it. Of course people at work were also upset and many rallied round A who was grieving.
A few weeks later my friend then said that there had been tension at work as a few people had been saying if this man was dead then why has A not posted about it on Facebook, no one has posted anything on his Facebook or tagged him in anything and there’s no funeral details. A also changed her surname back to her maiden name. My friend was disgusted at people for saying some unkind things and both she and another co worker really laid into some of them. A few months later A left for another job and it was just accepted that her husband had passed away and that was that.
Until today….
I attend a regular activity, I’ve not been doing it long only a couple months. Today a man attends that looks a lot like how I remembered A’s husband to look from the many photos she posted. Then I hear his name, A’s husband also had this very uncommon name. I honestly can’t describe how I felt, it was just so odd. After a while I decided to start secretly videoing him on my phone for about 10 seconds which yes I know it’s weird but I wanted to send it to my friend. I sent it to her and she was in utter utter disbelief, it was indeed A’s husband alive and well! He is not dead and A completely made it up! Who does that? Why would she say such an awful thing? We just cannot understand it. The reason I added in about them having learning difficulties is because we wondered if they wanted to divorce but didn’t know how to tell people having only been married a short time. But that seems like a stretch? We have only told our partners about this and no one else. My friend wants to tell people at work as they grieved for him and should know he is fine.
I have to say I agree but many things have crossed my mind like what if he was abusive or something. Or did they both agree to say that he died? If so why wouldn’t he have moved away or changed his name. Some people that work there also still see A and I don’t like the idea of lots of people angrily going at her. I mean she must be mentally unwell or have good reason to do this surely? How would you approach this?