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Original poster

How did you teach your sons about periods?

38 replies

Citalopramadvice · 15/10/2022 20:55

My DS is in year 5 now, curious chap and an only child.

I have never hidden my san pro stuff really, lives in a cupboard at the side of a toilet he saw some of it and saw me taking a paracetamol today and I explained I had a stomach ache and he asked if that’s the stuff in the cupboard was for too. I just said yes and he seemed satisfied with that answer.

But it has gotten me thinking about the “talk” my mum gave me in year 5, one of my friends started her period and her mum told the other mums, my mum came in my room talking about periods, boobs and puberty and I wanted the ground to swallow me whole.

I was also early having my period, just turned twelve. It was grim and boys where horrible about periods and san pro products at school.

So how do I talk about this with my son, I don’t want him to turn into one of those horrible teenage boys I encountered as a teenager.

Would love some links to resources, books etc. TIA

OP posts:
Pinkflipflop85 · 15/10/2022 20:58

My DS has known about periods from around 4 years old when he started asking questions. Obviously on a basic level at that stage but we have given more age appropriate information now he is 8.

TerrifiedandWorried · 15/10/2022 20:58

Just talk about it and normalise it. Don't say you have stomach ache, say you have period pain.

BiscuitLover3678 · 15/10/2022 21:01

I agree with the others. My son is just under 3 and when he asks what I’m doing I tell him. No biggie.

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Haycorns4Piglet · 15/10/2022 21:01

I always think it's a good idea to discuss this stuff, in an age appropriate way, right from them being little. Small children just accept everything without question and don't feel embarrassed or grossed out by it. I appreciate it's a bit late to start that approach with your son though! I know you can get 'Why is my body changing' type books for boys, and a whole other version for girls, but maybe you could ask at your local bookshop if there are any for both sexes that explore it all?

ofwarren · 15/10/2022 21:02

My sons knew from about 4 too. They came to the bathroom with me and they saw my sanitary towels etc.
I just explained why Women bleed very basically at first and then added on more detail as they got older.
I think it will be more difficult explaining to an older child if they don't know anything about periods at all. I think I'd possibly go with a book at that age.

coodawoodashooda · 15/10/2022 21:05

I try and be as matter of fact as possible.

SpaghettiSquash · 15/10/2022 21:07

Just answer his questions straight forwardly. If he's in year 5 he'll be learning about them at school very soon. I was very surprised at the depth they went into about puberty at primary school.

DramaAlpaca · 15/10/2022 21:08

My sons knew from very young as I just answered questions in an age appropriate way as they came up. They have no sisters so it was important they knew from me.

SixChancellorsInAMoneyTree · 15/10/2022 21:08

I told my DS about periods when he was about 5 and asked what my tampons were. I think I explained a bit more over the years as it came up. He took it totally in his stride. In fact, when I told his sister what my tampons were for a few years later and she looked horrified, my DS said ‘don’t worry, it’s totally natural’. Mansplaining periods to his little sis Grin.

achangeisafoot · 15/10/2022 21:25

DS noticed the sanitary bins in public toilets aged about 4 so I just told him that women and older girls have something called periods where blood comes from their vagina but it's not blood like a cut and that they wear like a small nappy to catch the blood. And that periods are something connected to women having babies. It's never fazed him.

ofwarren · 15/10/2022 21:32

achangeisafoot · 15/10/2022 21:25

DS noticed the sanitary bins in public toilets aged about 4 so I just told him that women and older girls have something called periods where blood comes from their vagina but it's not blood like a cut and that they wear like a small nappy to catch the blood. And that periods are something connected to women having babies. It's never fazed him.

I told my youngest it was like a small nappy too. He has a bowel issue so has to wear a real one himself sometimes. He thinks it's funny when we are both wearing our nappies Grin

PeekAtYou · 15/10/2022 21:35

Talk about it as if he were a girl.
When my sons were pre-schoolers they knew that I bled every month, it didn't hurt like a cut and I used tampons and sanitary towels to deal with the blood so not to touch them. they knew that the bins in womens loo had used sanitary protection so not to open it. They knew because I had to take them to public loos with me when they were little and they would associate the rustling as sweets or crisps.

When they were 7ish and we discussed sex they knew that having a period meant I wasn't pregnant and a sperm hadn't fertilised my egg to make a baby. They didn't ask anything further.

CaronPoivre · 15/10/2022 22:03

They come to the lavatory with you when they’re toddlers and usually ask questions very loudly at the least convenient moment. You answer in an age appropriate but entirely factually accurate way. They dig around in your bag and then make tiny mice families from tampons and squeak them along church pews. Very loudly.
lt should happen over time, as part of everyday family life so they grow up understanding why their sister is curled up on the sofa and a bit grumpy with them.

MrsMiddleMother · 15/10/2022 22:26

My son is 3 and knows about periods in a very age appropriate way as at times he's in the bathroom with me and sees San pro products and has asked about them

user1468105798 · 16/10/2022 01:30

As mum to both girls and boys, I agree with all the comments about age appropriate and honest answers to questions for either gender child. Starts early and they really are not fazed by learning how women's bodies work. I was a bit mortified but also had to laugh as I pulled onto the drive at home one afternoon to see a few winged sani towels stuck to my 3 year old son's bedroom window. He had unwrapped them and thought they made good airplane stickers.

HighlandPony · 16/10/2022 01:36

Dunno. Mine just sort of always knew but they’ve been raised in an agricultural setting so cycles and birth and even how procreation works has just always been there. They know that humans use tampons (mostly because we don’t know or visit anyone that uses pads or anything else) but they know about maternity pads after I had their sister. I don’t remember anyone actually telling me much either. I was raised the same and just always knew.

Creameggs223 · 16/10/2022 01:43

Start talking to dc sooner rather than later it becomes more embarrassing for them as they get older, always spoken to my dc openly about these things and now my ds15 quite openly asks me/speaks to me about things it would be different if I had been so closed off with him when he was younger. He has be taught its all normal and natural.

Gronkle · 16/10/2022 02:00

This reminds me of my ds, I thought I'd explained it all to him in a good age appropriate way, then one day, when he was about 6, he was in my handbag and pulled out a tampon, he said "this is to stop you laying an egg isn't it mummy". He's 21 now, ha ha ha

rafanadalsarms · 16/10/2022 02:03

Normalise it. I have 2 sons and I'm a lone parent. I've always told them about periods. If I'm premenstrual and moody I explain why I'm sensitive. And about blood, cycles and everything

funzeny · 16/10/2022 02:19

My oldest son, completely open chat about everything, second boy now 9, absolutely hates any chat about bodies etc . Keep trying as at some point he needs to know about girls puberty etc, but because it's so hushed at school, he's already just scared of it. They need to start educating kids from younger age so it doesn't become a scary subject

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 16/10/2022 02:24

My DS is 5 and obviously came into public toilets as a baby and toddler so saw me bleed. He asked when he was about 3 why I had blood in my knickers, and I said women bleed from their vaginas once a month, it’s called a period. He just sort of accepted it. And he knows what my sanpro is, that it’s for my period.

Only problem being so open is he doesn’t quite understand that I don’t love when I’m buying sanitary towels in a supermarket and he says “are those for your PERIOD mummy” 😂

GrimDamnFanjo · 16/10/2022 02:24

I can remember describing at around age 4 that women grow a kind of cushion for a baby each m9nth and f it's not required it just comes away and looks like blood.
Interesting to read how others discussed it.

worriedatthistime · 16/10/2022 02:37

I must of failed as about age 3 ds 2 came out toilet asking if he could have one of the sweets in there ( tanpons) and ds 1 at a similar age came out with a sanitary towel saying he had a cut and needed one of my big plasters
But seriously I think I just answered there questions as honestly as possible and they seemed to just get it

neverhaveiDEVI · 16/10/2022 02:51

Why are you only mentioning periods at this age?!

mathanxiety · 16/10/2022 02:55

Those of you who think your 4 year olds will remember what you told them about periods when they get to 10 or 11 have a surprise in store.

You need to use plain, accurate language, and describe what happens, why you are taking a period pain reliever, and what you use for hygiene.

You also need to tell your boys that harassing girls about periods or making fun of the topic or acting grossed out is completely unacceptable, and that they need to be active bystanders, not silent enablers of misogyny.

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