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Original poster

How did you teach your sons about periods?

38 replies

Citalopramadvice · 15/10/2022 20:55

My DS is in year 5 now, curious chap and an only child.

I have never hidden my san pro stuff really, lives in a cupboard at the side of a toilet he saw some of it and saw me taking a paracetamol today and I explained I had a stomach ache and he asked if that’s the stuff in the cupboard was for too. I just said yes and he seemed satisfied with that answer.

But it has gotten me thinking about the “talk” my mum gave me in year 5, one of my friends started her period and her mum told the other mums, my mum came in my room talking about periods, boobs and puberty and I wanted the ground to swallow me whole.

I was also early having my period, just turned twelve. It was grim and boys where horrible about periods and san pro products at school.

So how do I talk about this with my son, I don’t want him to turn into one of those horrible teenage boys I encountered as a teenager.

Would love some links to resources, books etc. TIA

OP posts:

TooHotToRamble · 16/10/2022 03:14

My DS would be in the toilet with me and saw me bleed and use tampons etc etc. I explained it to him age appropriately and made it very normal. I did not want him to be one of those men who is embarrassed about buying their partner sanpro at the supermarket!

Periods are normal and nothing to hide away or be ashamed of. The earlier you show/tell children and the more normal you make it the better.

Cameleongirl · 16/10/2022 03:39

I think my conversation with DS (now 14) came about when he first asked how babies got into tummies. 😂I gave him a simple explanation about women releasing an egg every month and what happened to the egg if it wasn't fertilized. He seemed satisfied with this.

sjxoxo · 16/10/2022 03:51

Gronkle · 16/10/2022 02:00

This reminds me of my ds, I thought I'd explained it all to him in a good age appropriate way, then one day, when he was about 6, he was in my handbag and pulled out a tampon, he said "this is to stop you laying an egg isn't it mummy". He's 21 now, ha ha ha

@Gronkle This made me chuckle thanks!!! 😂😂😂

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Bluebellandpansies · 16/10/2022 04:12

That was part of a talk when they were way smaller.

ofwarren · 16/10/2022 06:41

mathanxiety · 16/10/2022 02:55

Those of you who think your 4 year olds will remember what you told them about periods when they get to 10 or 11 have a surprise in store.

You need to use plain, accurate language, and describe what happens, why you are taking a period pain reliever, and what you use for hygiene.

You also need to tell your boys that harassing girls about periods or making fun of the topic or acting grossed out is completely unacceptable, and that they need to be active bystanders, not silent enablers of misogyny.

Why are you assuming we just told them once at 4 and that's it?
My 6 and 8 year old still come to the toilet with me now and still see what happens.
My period floods and I've many a time sent one to the downstairs toilet to get my sanitary towels for me or they have helped me by getting some kitchen roll because it's flooded everywhere. They are well aware what happens, not just a chat at 4.

Harrystylestutu · 16/10/2022 06:42

My little ones have seen me change a pad but I don't think my ten year old has. My four year old asks if I'm wearing a nappy and I say yes.

When my 8 year old saw he got very distraught (he has sen) so I think I did minimize it. He's very into science though so that could be very useful when this arises again.

My ten year old with sen also, came to me a few months ago as I'd left a hospital letter out in the kitchen and told me "sorry about your
TRANS-VAGINAL SCAN mum" patted me on the should and walked out 😂

I also caught the four year old wearing two of my kotex maxi pads as stick on slippers 😂

RudsyFarmer · 16/10/2022 06:54

My 6 year old and 9’year old know about them. I’m not sure they’d remember the exact details when quizzed but they know most women/adolescent girls bleed once a month. They know it’s to do with the womb preparing for pregnancy and they couldn’t care less. Even play with my menstrual cup in the bath 😳

LickThis · 16/10/2022 08:18

I don't think we actually had a chat about it because everything was talked about normally IYSWIM

Cameleongirl · 16/10/2022 15:07

I also caught the four year old wearing two of my kotex maxi pads as stick on slippers Confused😂

That’s hysterical, @Harrystylestutu

Re. Your 8-year-old being distraught, I can understand that reaction. My DS (who’s NT) also needed to understand that it wasn’t an injury, because he associated blood with harm.

JellyWishes · 16/10/2022 21:14

CaronPoivre · 15/10/2022 22:03

They come to the lavatory with you when they’re toddlers and usually ask questions very loudly at the least convenient moment. You answer in an age appropriate but entirely factually accurate way. They dig around in your bag and then make tiny mice families from tampons and squeak them along church pews. Very loudly.
lt should happen over time, as part of everyday family life so they grow up understanding why their sister is curled up on the sofa and a bit grumpy with them.

I get the idea ...but tampon mice in church

Original poster

Citalopramadvice · 16/10/2022 21:33

Sone of these messages made me chuckle 😂

He has never seen my change a pad or walked in on me on the toilet whilst I have been in my period, in public places his dad or a family member has been there so not needed to take him into the toilet whilst changing. I also use cups a lot so don’t need to change often.

feeling a bit crappy now about not talking sooner, he is quite a sensitive soul and gets a bit freaked out about blood aged 3 he disliked his toenails and wanted to take them off, at 6 if he bled, even the slightest graze, he thought he would lose all his blood!

I think I am more uncomfortable anoint changing his worldview, I don’t think he will take it well that mum has a painful belly and bleeds each month

OP posts:

tootiredtospeak · 16/10/2022 21:38

I have discussed this with both my kids openly. I think it came up as they wanted to go swimming one day and I said I couldn't as I was bleeding. Hence the interest and explanation. My son is 10 and daughter 5. They totally accepted the explanation.

3WildOnes · 16/10/2022 21:43

LickThis · 16/10/2022 08:18

I don't think we actually had a chat about it because everything was talked about normally IYSWIM

Same. Mine have all seen my change my pads whe young. I've asked them to pass me sanpro from another bathroom in the same way I would ask the to pass me a loo roll. They hear me asking my husband to buy me sanpro or paracetamol from the shops. They hear me complaining to my husband that I bled on the sheets so I need to change them I don't talk about my period in hushed tones.

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