Dreading Christmas

[Ilovenotebooks]

My workplace shuts down for 2 weeks over Christmas. I have literally no plans and no money to go anywhere. I'm dreading it. Actual Christmas day should be ok. I'll go to a family member's house for lunch but other than that there is just the dread of nothing to do while everyone else does lovely things. Also hate the dark, cold days and never feel great at that time of year. It'll just be me. I don't have a partner or kids. I'm not religious so church is out.

They do.

Could you invite some friends round on one or two days? Most people are usually desperate to get away from family for a bit. Or do you have a piece of diy or project you haven't managed to get round to that you could do?

Do your friends know you'll be alone and have no plans? We've had various people (friends and friends of family) join us for Christmas before, more the merrier.

I have no friends in this area really.

Perhaps now is the time to make some friends where you are living. Put yourself out there and there are likely people just like you wanting new friends. Pick it up now and you’ll have plenty to occupy yourself over holiday, weekends and beyond.

Ys that sounds horrific.

But this is about the OP and she doesn't need lonliness, which can be incredibly soul destroying being minimised. I hate it when people say, yeah but it could be worse. Shes allowed to feel how she feels. She isn't goint to feel any better because someone else has it worse.

Just treat it as any other time, don' t put pressure on yourself, l always have a very quiet xmas through choice, as l work in retail it drains me. l have my pets, l often go out for a walk or bike ride, read , listen to music or do some gardening or decorating even.
You have to remember xmas for most people is quite stressful and alot of hard work, plus domestic violence incidents go through the roof. Enjoy the peace and quiet.

Could you offer to dog,cat sit for people who are going away.Make some extra money,different 4 walls.How about house sitting,join an agency.I know people who can afford this service and pay well.Choice a lovely area.will be like a mini holiday usually beautiful homes and no fuel costs for 2 week.

It's not a competition and it's not about you.

OP is lonely through no choice of her own.

You're choosing to be a martyr.

@Ragruggers that's a great idea.

OP are there any big tasks at home you have been putting off, or any projects you might like to start? I agree with the PP above who said just treat it like any other time of year ( i know that will be so hard) What do you normally do with your weekends?

Could you join a choir ? I go to a fun lively community style one and we are practicing singing Christmas songs now, have lots of outdoor gigs locally over Christmas, is very sociable.
Def look on local Facebook groups for volunteering opportunities, that would be very special

What do you enjoy?

Whereabouts are you based OP?

I'm sorry OP. That's really hard. Think a lot of people don't really get the dread of having not just a few days but weeks to fill when you have no one around you. It's incredibly draining. I've been there before.

Some good suggestions here, I know reading them might feel overwhelming though. Do you have friends who live further away that you could stay with, perhaps not for actual Christmas but days either side? If I had a friend who was going to by themselves during this time I'd hate to think of them on their own and would happily have them to stay.

Otherwise, plan a few days of doing things and some chilled days at home. Pick tv you'd like to watch, get invested in a series.

Volunteering suggestion is a really good shout. Where I live (big city) they're calling out for people to volunteer for various charities at Christmas.

Do you have any friends you could invite round for a cheese and wine? Even two sets of friends once in each week will help spread it out

He abused you, his kids have disowned him and yet you still care more about his feelings than your own? Wow. He really did a number on you.

I am sorry you are feeling this way, if it's any consolation you are not alone. However, you need to be proactive if you want to have a more enjoyable time. Can you start to make a plan of things you can do over the two weeks? Rather than dreading it, you could see it as a free couple of weeks to fill with whatever you like. When you are busy with work, do you ever put off doing something because you don't have the time to spare? This could be your opportunity...to decorate your bedroom, watch some boxsets, learn a new skill, try out tai chi etc!

You say you will see family on Christmas Day. Is that something you could extend or could you arrange to visit/meet up with other family or friends? If you find a few definite things to arrange to do you will find that your time fills up quite quickly. Also be kind to yourself, have some treats and enjoy the fact that you have a break from your work routine.

Have you got any projects that needs doing? Painting your bedroom, clear out your wardrobes, or maybe do couch25K or something?

I'm in a very similar situation this year, I know how you feel, imagining families having a "perfect idyllic tv advert Christmas." I don't want to let family or friends know how sad and lonely my Christmas will be incase they think I'm some pathetic person.

I am really trying to think positively, so I'm planning to read and watch boxsets. Where are you? If your near me , then feel free to get in touch.

You could do the parkrun double (free). Find a local one taking place on christmas day and another on NYD.

I'm hoping to squeeze them in

Are you allowed to get a second job? There are usually plenty of temporary gigs over Christmas. Could provide company and extra cash.

@Wherecanitbe I think it's very sad that you fear your family and friends would think you pathetic for being alone at Christmas. Please don't let fear of this kind isolate you (nothing wrong w Christmas alone if you prefer it, but if you don't). You don't have to beg for invites but you may find they flow naturally if you tell people you have no plans.

My parents were both sole immigrants to the UK the 60s. Before they met they spent their Christmases with various friends or colleagues and their families. An awful lot of people like to have visitors at Christmas to help leaven the family loaf if nothing else.

Good ideas! It’s really hard to get pet sitters at Christmas.

Oh my I would love for my company to shut down for two weeks. I’d make food and find good books and tv shows to binge. Maybe clean closets and do deep cleaning if I’m not feeling too lazy. Maybe find a new hobby to do at home. But I’m a huge homebody 😂

I can’t wait for this Christmas I’m looking forward again still got my problems but working through them church will mean so much this year pity I’ve missed harvest festival but next weekend new home new church. Advent with the four candles means so much to happy memories (not that many) of childhood. Doing old fashioned Christmas Tudor themed no tinsel just garlands.