I'm in my 40s and think I've had a personality transplant

[ConfusedHur]

I'm 47, and I notice in the last couple of years I've:

• become less of a people pleaser;

• speak my mind more, but not in a nasty way - eg I let someone know if they've said something that has upset me, whereas before I would have silently stewed!

• culling my acquaintances to spend more time with actual friends;

• saying no to places I don't want to go to, including events involving large groups.

Am I alone in feeling like this at this age or am I turning into a grumpy old woman?

I'm more opposite.

No friends to cull so that's easy (phew). Ditto to not being asked to unexpected things. I volunteer more than ever to help out, probably. I have more time.

I am increasingly diffident as I get older. I just don't care enough if they're right/wrong to find an opinion about what others do. I had to read up how to know if you're a people pleaser : don't think I ever was. When I was young I felt ashamed if I didn't promote myself, but now I love anonymity and low responsibility roles more than ever.

I'm there already. It's liberating mostly but I do miss the vivacious, happy go lucky aspect of me. I don't begrudge anyone else having a good time or being superficial, just want a simpler more manageable life. Although at the moment I'm not succeeding at all!

It's called the perimenopause, it's the start of giving no shits.

Definitely recognise this - I'm really enjoying it - Shame the rage / frustration / brain fog / fatigue has to come too.

Y

This 😁

I'm kind of hoping some of these changes come my way. You might enjoy a book (fiction) called The Change by Kirsten Miller. An enjoyable story with a supernatural bent about women becoming bad ass in their late 40s.

Yes it's the menopause. Great isn't it? Could not give a shit anymore. Will soon get rid of my DH of 30 years too.

Have also lost all nurturing feelings towards other people's new babies or young kids, whereas beforehand I would have been the first to ask for a hold and make a fuss.

Yep this.

Its the drop in oestrogen. Men feel like this all the time. It’s the time of suiting yourself and fuck everyone else. 😁

Agree. Lately I find myself giving very few shits. Find myself thinking "yeah, whatever...." all the time. As PP said, so liberating.

You will also soon find that your bullshit detector has been switched on to full power.

Oestrogen. It’s all about the oestrogen.

Some of these responses made me laugh out loud. Although I still am having regular periods, I'm likely perimenopausal now. I have also come through a bad breakup, which, although I was broken hearted at the time, has made me stronger and more assertive, so something good might have come out of it after all!

I'm the same and I'm 42

I'm on the edges of this and beginning to see some huge benefits (although as a pp said "the rage" has also been enveloping me too).

Welcome to the peri-menopause

All those caring hormones dipping does have its benefits

Yup 45. Can confirm. Oestrogen levels dropping. Bullshit detector at max. I just no longer give a fuck what people think about me.

I treat people well. If I don't get the same back. I'm done. Just walk away. If not physically, then mentally, just 'pft, done with you' in my head and everything that person says or does after that point is irrelevant.

The words Dickhead and Nonsense are quite possibly my most frequently used now.

My god I am so much happier than I used to be, this this is freedom. 😄

Ah, yes, the rage - also new for me! A family member made a comment that was critical of me and they couldn't believe it when I stood up and told them what's what!

Yep im feeling the same, but add in piling on the weight which is not good 😫

Yes me too. I find it quite exciting as I've always lacked confidence and been a rather pathetic people pleaser. All of a sudden I just don't care avout being "nice" all the time. There are downsides to perimenopause though. Life doesn't seem as exciting or fun anymore. I mean I'm still happy but I used to have a lot more energy for having fun. I often feel quite flat now.

Interesting. Dh describes it as 'no fucks to give'. I've been that way for a while. Love my close friends. Won't tolerate nonsense.

I had a moment at the gym today. It was horrendously busy and this snooty bitch tried to muscle her way into my machine. My towel and drink were already there so there was a brief stand off, literally 🧐👀 Years ago I would have backed down but at the age of 50 I decided I'm not putting up with this shit any more 😂

Not alone, same for me, but I don't think I'm grumpy, I think it's blooming marvellous. At last!! Just gutted it took me till late forties.

Yes, me too, and as a former people pleaser it's bloody marvellous.

Absolutely this. It takes a bit of time to get used to it, but when you do it's very liberating. I feel like I've been reinvented and it's bloody brilliant.