Terrified I’m going to lose my house

[Hangrysaurus]

ever since this shit show of a mini budget and the economy and mortgages spiralling into chaos, im so so worried about losing my home.

2 kids in childcare to work, will be switching providers to save but dh and I take home about 93k before tax and about 65 after (thanks student loan)

mortgage is due next late December. We have help to buy too, which comes to the end of the 5 year interest free end of next Dec too. We looked at switching when lloyds had their 3.7% rate but with the 4.5k erc it was an extra £700 per month, close to 1500, aka totally unaffordable, even the broker wasn’t sure it was a good bet.

if we pay off the htb (we have about 40k in savings for this) and depending on house value htb is about 75k, if we did this we’d need to add 30k to mortgage or borrow it from parents (although that’s the cash draw down from a pension that the government have also fucked). Then we’d have a 60% ltv provided the house price doesn’t tank too much as we lose our equity.

when we did our mortgage they stress tested to 4.5% as that was the highest rates mortgages had been in the previous 10 years. We were very comfortable in terms of affordability and we’ve done all the right things in terms of future proofing, aside from having kids. It shouldn’t be this way.

i know the banks last resort is to take the house but honestly I’m spiralling. We both recently got new jobs, a combined about 15k a year increase but it ‘only’ amounts to be 400 after tax. Will it all be ok?

(if this comes across as insensitive im really sorry don’t mean it to be)

I don't understand long-established families not pooling finances. I don't know any families in real life where one parent pays more for the kids stuff. Everyone I know has a joint account from which all family expenses are covered.

On your general question OP, I reckon you'll be fine. Our household income is about a quarter of yours and it's doable with a bit of care. You are being dramatic about not being able to afford your house. It'll be your spending money that's affected, not your ability to pay the essential household bills.

Sounds like you're struggling for money but your household isn't. I can see why things would feel tight on paying over half of the costs for a household when you're earning less than half the household income. You need a fairer split of spending.

Your real issue seems to be that your husband is paying way less than you are for the children and costs of the family. 50% only works if you are both earning the same/
It honestly sounds as if you are being financially abused.

This x100.

You are not going to lose your house. At worst, your lifestyle may need to be adjusted.

Take a deep breath and pull yourself together.

I think OP you are getting about £30k? So you will struggle to pay half of everything on that. It is unrealistic. Your DH needs to step up financially.

Clearly the problem isn’t your income, it’s the unfair distribution of costs within your household. You need to have a conversation with your DH about how to make that fairer, because at the minute he sounds like a selfish shit. Are you using tax free childcare btw?

Can you extend the length of the mortgage by ten years and reduce the monthly payments? Then if things settle down again, aim to pay off faster.

we have health insurance (family history of pretty nasty stuff) £200 for basic cover, can’t strip back anymore, protection about £220, loan £200, energy £300 (already v frugal) council tax £150, water £80, Netflix £20, phones £30, internet £40,
Nursery £2k (that’s with 30 free hrs)

You both need to contribute in proportion to your incomes. 50/50 doesn't make sense when your incomes are so different and you have children together!

£38k

Even this right here is shitty of him. Because by paying the bill ‘through the gov account’ (tax-free childcare) that offers him a discount. From gov.uk

If you get Tax-Free Childcare, you’ll set up an online childcare account for your child. For every £8 you pay into this account, the government will pay in £2 to use to pay your provider.
^^
You can get Tax-Free Childcare at the same time as 30 hours free childcare if you’re eligible for both.

So you’re actually paying more than 50% of that bill.

You’re married with joint responsibility for children. Don’t let this set up where you’re disadvantaged continue.

Joint budgets, Equal disposable income.

All of those insurances. Don’t they help with your anxiety? My anxiety is mainly around getting sick or losing my job and not being able to afford my mortgage, you’ve got that all sorted, at a premium.

Netflix is £5.99 pm. How is yours £20?

We’re already at 35 years which takes to dh retirement age so I’m not sure we can extend further, but it’s worth asking when we get around to it.

we do use tax free childcare

It’s regional I’m afraid, where we are it’s pretty much the same, We chose that nursery because they supported with some additional requirements dc1 has but in the space of 1 yr they put up their fees by £10 a day and I really don’t think the kids are getting fed £17 worth of food, so we’ll be moving them from jan, no where can take her before due to funding.

You need to have a serious sitdown discussion with him OP and sort through finances because I think that is part of the issue

£700 a month left over is a lot of money!

When I had my first home I was on 4% to start with and literally lived paycheck to paycheck with nothing spare for years.

I earn well now and I still don't have £700 a month spare!

Have you considered a childminder? They’re much cheaper by me. Nursery is £70 per day and my childminder was £45. And she accepted the free hours funding and I could send my DC with a packed lunch.

we have health insurance (family history of pretty nasty stuff) £200 for basic cover, can’t strip back anymore, protection about £220, loan £200, energy £300 (already v frugal) council tax £150, water £80, Netflix £20, phones £30, internet £40,
Nursery £2k (that’s with 30 free hrs)

if your house is on the line you need to ditch the health insurance. The NHS is in dire straits but in most really serious cases they’re better than private anyway.

what’s “protection”

£300 for energy is a lot. Have you checked your account to see if you’ve been overpaying?

£80 for water is a lot as well. We pay less than £50 with 4 adults. Check your meter is accurate and again you’re not overpaying and in credit.

sorry that’s Netflix and prime and rounded way up to err on the side of caution.

well most policies don’t cover redundancy or general job loss, most are in place for illness so they don’t really comfort me there, redundancy doesn’t bother me too too much as I’d get a settlement

Remortgage for a longer period eg: 30 yrs. to bring the repayments down? Then claw it back when you next remortgage?

Banks don't like to repossess and do it as a last resort only. It's terrible PR. Worst case you stay with your current provider and negotiate. Some payments are better than pictures of homeless families and woebegone children in the tabloids.

I understand your anxiety. It helps me to have completely joint and transparent finances.

Agree!

The DH's money is probably going into topping up his pension to the max while OP is scrabbling for stat maternity pay to pay "her share" of the bills.

Sorry finance lingo, critical illness, life assurance, disability cover, and income protection for both the mortgage and htb and then critical illness, life and disability for the kids.

i don’t want to turn this into an nhs bashing thread because I am grateful for it, but lost a family member (close, won’t disclose as too outing) because of nhs care and lack of action and treatment not being available, was awful.

we’re On a meter, it’s £75 to be precise but I’ve rounded all up,

same with energy, £280 but rounded up, we’re on variable, £200 in credit

When does the loan finish? That will give you a bit of breathing space.

Unless the rate is ultra low, it might be better to pay it off with savings and save the money back up.

Agree that £300 pm on utilities is not 'very frugal' unless your house is very large, and if it is, that opens up the option of moving somewhere smaller, should it come to that, but it shouldn't be necessary anyway.

You could cut your phone costs in half, a small saving, but frees up a little more for other things.

a thought, could you eldest start at school nursery rather than private? Then a childminder for drop off and pick up if you need the earlier starts - again I'm basing on locally to me but school nursery offers the 3 hours as 5 * 9-3 days and childminders charge £28 a day for the drop off and pick up

Bad news is costs are going up for everyone.

Good news is you have over a year to implement cost savings and get your expenditure down. That's a lot of time to plan and build up some savings buffer if you start doing it now.

weve tried to find one for ages but they seem to be in real short supply in our area, ive found a nursery school that will take the kids though and do sibling discounts so it will save about £200 per month but they can only take kids from jan (due to funding and prior to funding the price is the same)