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Original poster

Tell me your Stupid injuries

107 replies

thisisme2468 · 10/10/2022 19:49

Tell me about your stupid injuries

Feeling very silly today. 28 years of owning horses and while doing a worm test yesterday in horse’s mouth I got my index finger caught in his molars. The finger is crushed, the bone broken and the nail spilt in two. Yesterday I had to get a tetanus jab and course of antibiotics and I’m off to see a plastic surgeon tomorrow to have the nail treated. Feeling very stupid as should have known better and now struggling with everything as it’s my right hand!

OP posts:
BogRollBOGOF · 10/10/2022 22:42

I was slicing bagels this morning and managed to stab my hand, not once but twice... beautifully aligned on my lifeline 😂

I trashed my shoulder by tripping in the mums' race on sports day... that took 2 years to really heal.

Cyprusx · 10/10/2022 22:46

Therewere5inthebed · 10/10/2022 20:03

I’ve punched myself in the face pulling the quilt up when my hand slipped off of it in the night and again when putting on my bra.

I’ve given myself a nosebleed whilst washing my face in the shower when my little finger went right up my nose.

I’m sure there are many, many more. It’s a miracle that I’ve made it to 50!

These made me laugh out loud 😂😂

Tarkan · 10/10/2022 22:49

I'm still recovering from a sprained ankle I gave myself back in July. I was at the cinema watching Thor and thought I would just nip to the loo. I was in a different screen to usual and forgot about the 2 steps at the end of the aisle and went down in one go, while also twisting myself to the right (I was walking left) and flipping over so I landed on my back. It must have looked like something from a slapstick movie.

I've also in the past broken a toe by getting it stuck in the spine of a book I had lying flat at the bottom of a bookcase and as a child I decided not to hold onto a swing properly and held the sides of the swing instead of the chains. I went too high and slipped off the front or eh swing, the chains whacking across my shoulders so hard it cracked my collarbone.

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Didicat · 10/10/2022 22:50

I decided to kick a stone on the netball court at school during break time, somehow went arse over tit and knocked myself out. Woke up in the back of an ambulance…… one way to get 1/2 a day off school.

Tarkan · 10/10/2022 22:50

*front of the swing

connie26 · 10/10/2022 22:53

Stabbed my palm trying to remove an avocado stone.
Burned off my eyelashes whilst trying to light the gas barbecue!

jaundicedoutlook · 10/10/2022 22:54

DH vaulted over a fence in the back garden, misjudged it, and came down straddling it, causing much injury to the testicles. He was groaning on the lawn for 5 minutes and I’m sorry to say I wasn’t able to help as I was incapable with laughing.

A week later I dropped a full 1.5 litre bottle of olive oil (one of the heavy ones with the clamp top) on my foot from kitchen counter height. Nothing broken (including the bottle) but it hurt like hell…

GalesThisMorning · 10/10/2022 22:57

🤣🤣 dying

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 10/10/2022 23:04

I have a really useful little seat on wheels which I use for weeding, much better than bending over all the time….until it ran downhill a bit, casting me off onto the grass.
Another broken coccyx , agony sitting down for more that ten minutes at a stretch. ( still got the seat, though and use it all the time, I bear it no ill will).

Fell over the chain with which Waitrose tied up the trolleys at night , and which they had helpfully left lying across the entrance….broken finger. ( I couldn’t cross the threshold for about three years afterwards, I just felt scared).

I have sewn my finger with an electric sewing machine, but I think most people do that at some stage. The trick is to reverse the direction so that you can get it out without tearing the flesh , by the way. ☹️

vipersnest1 · 10/10/2022 23:14

@Splodgerbodgerbadger, can we have a picture?
At least your injury is more 'validated' than mine.....

PollyCreo · 10/10/2022 23:18

I once fell down a flight of stairs head first (drunken student) literally bounced down hitting every step and landed on my face. It was Homer Simpson-esque including the D'OH sound effects. My face was in a right mess, broken nose and two black eyes.

My tutor kindly gave me another three days to complete my essay but he was concerned I was being beaten 🧐

HarrietSchulenberg · 10/10/2022 23:25

I broke my big toe kicking my flat car tyre in anger. It still hurts sometimes, nearly 20 years on.

GrowThroughWhatYouGoThrough · 10/10/2022 23:28

Fell off a pair of four inch heels whilst pushing a pram and tore all the ligaments in my foot 😩

Fraaahnces · 10/10/2022 23:28

I dislocated my thumb doing CPR practice on a yellow plastic dummy.

BadGranny · 10/10/2022 23:37

I was sunbathing nude in the garden of a cottage in the south of France and fell asleep for a couple of hours, blistered my entire back, bum, back of my legs and the soles of my feet. I couldn’t walk properly or sit down for about a month, and every time I went to the loo, it ripped the blistered skin off the top of my thighs.

EndlessMagpies · 10/10/2022 23:48

By gum. some of these are horrific and mine is very tame in comparison.

I once gashed my forehead open on a tablecloth. I was in Dunelm, and it was in a stiff plastic packet hanging up with a load of others. I bent down to look at an item on the shelf below, and it came off the hook, and the corner of the packet attacked me as it fell.

It was only when I got back to the car and looked at the damage in the rear-view mirror that I realised how much blood can come out of a small cut...

blinkingtelly · 10/10/2022 23:53

I'm quite short and was trying to retrieve a bowl from the top shelf of a cupboard. Couldn't quite reach so I used a wooden spoon to try and coax it to the edge of the shelf. Bowl fell out onto the counter, broke and a teeny splinter of pottery scratched my eyeball. Absolute agony and couldn't open my eye at all so went to A&E. Thankfully no lasting damage was done, just a scratched retina. All for the sake of a stupid bowl! 😂

APurpleSquirrel · 10/10/2022 23:54

I was showing off (aged about 12) in M&S - my mum & I were going down the escalator & I'd previously worked out that the handrail moved along with the steps & if you pushed yourself up by your hands (so your feet weren't on the escalator anymore) & just hung there you'd get taken down the escalator. Had done it many times. Except this time my wrist went. Cue feeling sick & hot etc. Mum thought I'd sprained it; but was in agony still the next day & after a trip to A&E had a fractured wrist in plaster that had to them be reset a few days later as it wasn't healing in the right way.

kittycatscollar · 11/10/2022 01:53

I thought that said regular enjoyment!

PeloFondo · 11/10/2022 02:01

Punched myself in the face doing up a girth
Broke my coccyx roller blading down stairs
Slipped and split my chin open on a door handle
Fell down a manhole with one leg in, one out and got cellulitis from the gravel rash after a&e picked all the gravel out
Broke my ankle and foot getting out of bed (no idea how)
Stabbed myself in the hand cutting an avocado

I basically need bubble wrap

smooththecat · 11/10/2022 02:43

Teenager, I broke a plate and left it next to my bed. Yes, sliced my foot really badly on it. Still scarred.
I have also done the ramming finger up the nose in the shower nosebleed thing.
I have a thing where I start daydreaming as soon as I get on a bike. I’ve had multiple accidents and I have to be really careful/shout at myself continuously in my head if I get on a bike. It doesn’t happen on other forms of transport.
Ive had a yoga injury called ‘yoga butt’ (who knew yoga was so dangerous?) it’s fucking awful, could hardly walk and I wouldn’t stop doing yoga because I thought it would be good to ‘stretch it out’. Wrong. I thing my whole ass is scar tissue now.
I saw a man in a record shop ask about a record, woman held it out for him to look at, he dashed his own eye into the corner of it. The white of his eye filled with blood and he then went ballistic at the poor woman.

smooththecat · 11/10/2022 02:57

Oh yeah, I also had a long, slim shard of porcelain embedded in the end of my finger. I knew it was there as I had seen it when cleaning the floor and felt it go in through my rubber glove. It was fucking agony every time the tip of my finger touched anything. It was either contacting bone or a nerve. Went to A&E, they told me to sod off as there was only a tiny mark on my finger. I insisted there was a piece of porcelain in my finger. After a while of living with it, I couldn’t take any more and squeezed the damn finger with all my strength, the thing came out finally, it was bloody long and very thin. The relief.

Chrissywakeuup · 11/10/2022 03:02

So many. I have massive scar going down my arse cheek and DH has a similar matching one. Previous owner thought square, chunky taps was a good idea in our bath/shower. Not so much when you drop something, bend down to get it and then drag your ass cheek up the tap. Thought it hurt then one of the kids came in and started crying i had blood running down the back of my leg. DH did exactly the same thing.

unkownone · 11/10/2022 04:24

Duck was flying at my head attacking me and i was running - fell and twisted ankle and ligiment damage. Was dancing (in runners after a running event) was standing talking to people and legs gave way and fell - breaking ankle and major ligament damage. Went to get off the couch after laying down and broke my toe. Got my luggage at the airport and re-broke my toe on the luggage somehow.

MurderOfBirds · 11/10/2022 13:45

Popped into Waitrose for drinks and nibbles to take to a friend's that evening. Just as I left the checkout I somehow went flying over someone's pram wheel. Landed in a puddle of prosecco and broken glass. Bruised all down one side of my body, took the skin off my elbow and cut my hands. Mortified!