Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

DP is the ultimate mummy's boy!

59 replies

gracious77 · 10/10/2022 11:44

Every time I have a disagreement with DP, he gets his mother to ring me to try and "reason" with me! I am seriously getting the ick and considering just ending the whole relationship.

Have any of you ever dealt with mummy's boys before? How did you deal with them?

OP posts:
Darraq · 10/10/2022 11:46

I'd leave him if he was my dp tbh. I couldn't be arsed dealing with someone who couldn't talk to me like a grown up about arguments or whatever and had to ring their mum to do it instead.

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 10/10/2022 11:47

If my DPs mum called me once to reason with me he’d be gone. Ick.

DuchessOfSausage · 10/10/2022 11:49

Bin him

Parky04 · 10/10/2022 11:49

Seriously! That is pathetic, couldn't put up with that!

Hoppinggreen · 10/10/2022 11:50

You dump them.
Its very unattractive

dontputitthere · 10/10/2022 11:51

Fuck that shit

The fact he tells her every minutiae of your relationship would be enough.

You'll never be his priority

Pumpkinpatchlookinggood · 10/10/2022 11:51

Is he 18?

PeekabooAtTheZoo · 10/10/2022 11:52

I’d let him go, tell him why, and if mummy dearest called me about it I’d give out to her about how this was exactly why the relationship was DOA. My dh has a mum who would do shit like this given half a chance but he keeps her at arm’s length for obvious reasons.

pinkyredrose · 10/10/2022 11:52

I'm cringing for him! How old is he?

MintJulia · 10/10/2022 11:54

How old is he?

I'd have a blunt word with the mum, saying 'I think that's between me and dp, don't you?' Bye.

And then tell your dp he needs to grow a spine if he wants an adult relationship.

Crunchingleaf · 10/10/2022 11:55

Ah seriously what a baby getting his mom to fight his battles.
It’s unusual behaviour OP and do you really want to be dealing with it forever.

orbitalcrisis · 10/10/2022 12:00

'I'm sorry Mrs. DH but my dad says I'm not allowed to talk to you about this. Sorry.'

Iheartgeraniums · 10/10/2022 12:01

orbitalcrisis · 10/10/2022 12:00

'I'm sorry Mrs. DH but my dad says I'm not allowed to talk to you about this. Sorry.'

omg I think I love you

RosieLemonadeAndSugar · 10/10/2022 12:10

Hahahaha so he basically 'tells' on you 😂

Please get rid of him and date a man(or woman) who doesn't run to mumsy when things don't go their way.

How embarrasing 😅 You need to think of a whitty comeback for the mom

ICanHideButICantRun · 10/10/2022 12:14

Oh I can just hear him now. "Mum! Muuuuuuuuuuuuuum! Tell her!"

elephantbreathing · 10/10/2022 12:15

Total ick.
How pathetic.

SusanPerbCallMeSue · 10/10/2022 12:16

Ugh no. Get rid! How immature and horrible. How old are you both? He sounds like a 6 year old.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 10/10/2022 12:17

No. Nope. Over and done with.

Original poster
gracious77 · 10/10/2022 12:34

I am 26 and he is 28.

OP posts:
GonnaGetGoingReturns · 10/10/2022 12:35

I was engaged to someone who was very close to their mum, only child. She'd write and ring me from another continent and overshare his/her life. I did find this overwhelming and AFAIK she didn't really get involved in our arguments - luckily!

I will say this though, FFW 25 years, he's been married, has been in a relationship and has a young child (he's not with the child's mother) but I've been in contact with an ex of his and basically his mother's involvement in his life has been unhealthy and has hampered most if not all of his relationships.

For that reason, I'd end it. You don't want to be with a mummy's boy or with someone who always used to speak to me if there was an issue with him/his mum and say 'don't listen to her!'.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 10/10/2022 12:36

gracious77 · 10/10/2022 12:34

I am 26 and he is 28.

He will not change at all. Maybe in a few years or when his mum is dead but not now.

NotLactoseFree · 10/10/2022 12:36

Hang on, so you disagree over, for example, whether to stay in the expensive but fabulously located hotel vs the less expensive but more inconvenient hotel while on holiday... and then his mum rings you to try and convince you that what he wants is the best option?

And/or you have an argument over, say, something he said or did and his mum then calls you to justify his behaviour?

And you didn't tell him this was a deal breaker after the first time and then dump him the second time it happened?

Definitely big The Ick.

JorisBonson · 10/10/2022 12:37

That would make my vagina clamp shut like a bear trap.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 10/10/2022 12:37

PeekabooAtTheZoo · 10/10/2022 11:52

I’d let him go, tell him why, and if mummy dearest called me about it I’d give out to her about how this was exactly why the relationship was DOA. My dh has a mum who would do shit like this given half a chance but he keeps her at arm’s length for obvious reasons.

your DH's mum sounds exactly like my ex-fiance's mum. Thank god she was on another continent and we didn't have email/social media contact back then as I'm sure it would've been much worse.

I've seen the faux simpering over various women on FB from the above woman and it's quite vile, she basically tailors it to who will toe the line to her.

TiredButDancing · 10/10/2022 12:38

OP, obviously we all come on MN with random queries and often things we know are batshit but we just want validation. But I found your post quite sad in a way. That you think this is even something you have to wonder about and that you don't feel immediately like it's incredibly inappropriate. Which it is.

So not only do you have a situation that justifiably makes me uncomfortable, but I'm guessing your DP has convinced you this is fine and normal and it's not rational for you to find it unpleasant?