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Original poster

'Inappropriate' books

67 replies

pumpkinpink · 09/10/2022 09:15

I have already made a decision about this regarding my own child so I'm not really asking for opinions on what I should do but thought it was an interesting thing to chat about?
My nearly 14 year old has really got into reading this year, she's always got her nose in a book, which is great! As she was never a big reader and at one point was behind at school.
However,,, the books she's reading are not exactly 14 year old material! She loves Colleen Hoover and books like that. She's been passing them on to me to read and they are quite sexy!!! Not porn, but I definitely would not be allowing her to watch sex scenes like this on tv!
I think she's loving reading and that's a good thing! If I 'banned' these books she would probably stop reading altogether and she is of an age where she probably wants to learn about this stuff, it's interesting and exciting! She's not into real life boys yet and seems happy with her celebrity crushes Wink

I'm reading the books too and we have had some chats about some of the topics that I've felt are iffy; Colleen Hoovers women are all so,,,, pathetic? Seeking the male gaze and putting men before anything else, that makes me more uncomfortable than the sex.

I just wondered what peoples thoughts are?

OP posts:
EBearhug · 09/10/2022 09:20

We were all reading stuff like that at 14. A very battered copy of Lace went round the class around age 12 or 13. It's normal. Admittedly I wouldn't have dreamed of passing it on to my mother. Nevertheless, I wouldn't be too worried.

RedHelenB · 09/10/2022 09:22

At 14 I read anything and everything and if my kids had been readers I d have encouraged them to do the same.

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 09/10/2022 09:24

when I was 14 I was reading Jilly Cooper, Flowers in the Attic… didn’t like Jackie Collins, but had read some of them. I’ve also got a vague recollection of a book including a scene with a goldfish? I was hardly unusual in this. I should say that at the same time I was reading Austen, Bronte, Eliot, Blyton, Streatfeild, Brent-Dyer… I didn’t only read naughty novels.

I have no idea what’s in Colleen Hooper’s books, but I very much doubt they are any more inappropriate than these.

Original poster
pumpkinpink · 09/10/2022 09:26

Oh I know, we all did it! And im not worried about it, im buying her the books!

I think the thing that I find interesting is how or why it's different to read these things but watching them seems way more shocking!

OP posts:
Hancox432 · 09/10/2022 09:26

She will be 15 soon, many films that are 15 have very sexy scenes in now.

Harebrain · 09/10/2022 09:27

I agree with other posters, I read all sorts of books at 14, some of them highly “inappropriate” as you say. I didn’t turn out as a pathetic, simpering woman by any means. I think it’s a bit of a rite of passage.

Original poster
pumpkinpink · 09/10/2022 09:27

It was a very loose 'inappropriate' Wink

Flowers in the attic..amazing!

OP posts:
MyCatIsAChonk · 09/10/2022 09:29

If I wouldn't let them watch it I wouldn't let them read it. I read lots of age inappropriate books and actually found some very upsetting after the fact. If it wasn't a book but actually she was accessing the Literotica website would that be ok? If so, why not? I think somehow books are seen as "safe" in a way other mediums are not.

Discovereads · 09/10/2022 09:30

I think your current approach of letting her read the books and then discussing problematic bits as you have been is just perfect. I would not change a thing.

Its better she reads them while you are around as a wise mum to comment on things. I looked up Colleen Hoover as had not heard of her, and actually her books are not inappropriate for a 14yr old at all. They are rated as young adult fiction and I read a few plots.

Not like me who unwittingly bought a second hand copy of Dancer of Gor when I was 15 and was shocked and utterly disgusted that something was literally a man’s pornographic sex slave fantasy was being sold in the “Sci fi” section next to I, Robot and Tesseract. I’d only bought it as I was taking dance classes and wanted to learn belly dancing at 18 and the cover was of a belly dancer dressed much like Princess Leia from Star Wars. No idea what was lurking in those pages. I never told my parents.

EBearhug · 09/10/2022 09:31

I’ve also got a vague recollection of a book including a scene with a goldfish?

Lace

Wantingtomove123 · 09/10/2022 09:32

No advice but I’m in the same situation with my DD whose wanting to read Colleen Hoover books. We live abroad and at the moment there’s a shortage of her books here but she wants me to phone all the book shops.
I read Virginia Andrews when I was 14 so I’m thinking I can’t say no to her. But I wouldn’t be happy with her watching 18 rated tv. Wondering how explicit are these books? I haven’t read any.

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 09/10/2022 09:33

EBearhug · 09/10/2022 09:31

I’ve also got a vague recollection of a book including a scene with a goldfish?

Lace

Is it wrong that I now want to go and read this?

glamourousindierockandroll · 09/10/2022 09:33

I think it sounds like you have a good approach. I loved Virginia Andrews at that age.

YA fiction is huge at the moment, and it's Lit festival season. Maybe you could find some events locally or online that might get her into some other genres too.

Original poster
pumpkinpink · 09/10/2022 09:34

Discovereads · 09/10/2022 09:30

I think your current approach of letting her read the books and then discussing problematic bits as you have been is just perfect. I would not change a thing.

Its better she reads them while you are around as a wise mum to comment on things. I looked up Colleen Hoover as had not heard of her, and actually her books are not inappropriate for a 14yr old at all. They are rated as young adult fiction and I read a few plots.

Not like me who unwittingly bought a second hand copy of Dancer of Gor when I was 15 and was shocked and utterly disgusted that something was literally a man’s pornographic sex slave fantasy was being sold in the “Sci fi” section next to I, Robot and Tesseract. I’d only bought it as I was taking dance classes and wanted to learn belly dancing at 18 and the cover was of a belly dancer dressed much like Princess Leia from Star Wars. No idea what was lurking in those pages. I never told my parents.

Did you grow up to be a sci-fi sex slave??? Smile

OP posts:
Chikapu · 09/10/2022 09:34

I've read one Colleen Hoover novel, Verity. It was utter trash and just the sort of thing that 14 year old me would have loved, I wouldn't have passed it on to my mum though!

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 09/10/2022 09:35

I have to say, I’d have been absolutely mortified if my mum knew what I was reading (though she probably did). Surely the point of reading inappropriate books is that they’re… well, illicit.

Original poster
pumpkinpink · 09/10/2022 09:35

Chikapu · 09/10/2022 09:34

I've read one Colleen Hoover novel, Verity. It was utter trash and just the sort of thing that 14 year old me would have loved, I wouldn't have passed it on to my mum though!

It's Verity I'm on now, her favourite is This Ends With Us also utter tosh.

OP posts:
MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 09/10/2022 09:35

pumpkinpink · 09/10/2022 09:26

Oh I know, we all did it! And im not worried about it, im buying her the books!

I think the thing that I find interesting is how or why it's different to read these things but watching them seems way more shocking!

Because when you read something you can only draw on your own experiences to imagine it but watching something it is there in front of you.

Beamur · 09/10/2022 09:36

I think YA books are often much 'sexier: and actually have quite problematic dynamics in relationships portrayed compared to adult fiction.
Saying that, I wouldn't stop my DD reading them either and would read it myself if she offered it to me and then talk about it, as you are doing OP.
It's a good way to talk through these themes in an abstract way and it's good to read!

Original poster
pumpkinpink · 09/10/2022 09:38

Wantingtomove123 · 09/10/2022 09:32

No advice but I’m in the same situation with my DD whose wanting to read Colleen Hoover books. We live abroad and at the moment there’s a shortage of her books here but she wants me to phone all the book shops.
I read Virginia Andrews when I was 14 so I’m thinking I can’t say no to her. But I wouldn’t be happy with her watching 18 rated tv. Wondering how explicit are these books? I haven’t read any.

They are tosh, the sex is nothing 'kinky' but the language is quite explicit and it's kind of graphic.

My issue more the relationships, lack of diversity, all couples are m/f white, skinny etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
pumpkinpink · 09/10/2022 09:39

EBearhug · 09/10/2022 09:31

I’ve also got a vague recollection of a book including a scene with a goldfish?

Lace

Searching for this book on Amazon right now Wink

OP posts:
Discovereads · 09/10/2022 09:39

I think what I struggled with were the sad books my one teen DD got hooked on. Fault in our Stars about a teenage romance where one is dying of cancer…and dies at 16? And the one left behind seriously considers suicide to join their “true love.” I mean WTF, who has a “true love” at 16!? and why romanticise suicide?

The school actually banned it which made DD want to read it even more…I forbade her from reading it (but all my friends have!) but then just this summer when we were evicted and had to move I found a copy of it stuffed up a chimney…that had probably been there quite a few years. She is 20 now and at Uni.

Clawdy · 09/10/2022 09:41

I remember reading Return To Peyton Place when I was fifteen, it was being talked about at school a lot. There was a disturbing incest scene, and I was absolutely shell shocked after reading it, I had no idea that anything like that could ever take place.

Original poster
pumpkinpink · 09/10/2022 09:42

Discovereads · 09/10/2022 09:39

I think what I struggled with were the sad books my one teen DD got hooked on. Fault in our Stars about a teenage romance where one is dying of cancer…and dies at 16? And the one left behind seriously considers suicide to join their “true love.” I mean WTF, who has a “true love” at 16!? and why romanticise suicide?

The school actually banned it which made DD want to read it even more…I forbade her from reading it (but all my friends have!) but then just this summer when we were evicted and had to move I found a copy of it stuffed up a chimney…that had probably been there quite a few years. She is 20 now and at Uni.

Which is why banning them doesn't work I guess! Not that I'm judging because that sounds disturbing and just not safe for teens who are so vulnerable to those kind of things.

OP posts:
HariboReckoning · 09/10/2022 09:43

pumpkinpink · 09/10/2022 09:35

It's Verity I'm on now, her favourite is This Ends With Us also utter tosh.

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