'Inappropriate' books

[pumpkinpink]

I have already made a decision about this regarding my own child so I'm not really asking for opinions on what I should do but thought it was an interesting thing to chat about?
My nearly 14 year old has really got into reading this year, she's always got her nose in a book, which is great! As she was never a big reader and at one point was behind at school.
However,,, the books she's reading are not exactly 14 year old material! She loves Colleen Hoover and books like that. She's been passing them on to me to read and they are quite sexy!!! Not porn, but I definitely would not be allowing her to watch sex scenes like this on tv!
I think she's loving reading and that's a good thing! If I 'banned' these books she would probably stop reading altogether and she is of an age where she probably wants to learn about this stuff, it's interesting and exciting! She's not into real life boys yet and seems happy with her celebrity crushes

I'm reading the books too and we have had some chats about some of the topics that I've felt are iffy; Colleen Hoovers women are all so,,,, pathetic? Seeking the male gaze and putting men before anything else, that makes me more uncomfortable than the sex.

I just wondered what peoples thoughts are?

I remember reading Jackie Collins at around that age. Xx

@pumpkinpink if you go by the date Forever was published the characters are now around age 65....so 'Ralph' is probably suffering a bit 🤣

Does she put a fish up her vagina? I need to know

I’m going through much the same. DS is an avid reader but has mostly just been reading books that we have lying around (which is a lot because I tend towards hoarding). Anyway at school he is handed books in English to read in class because hes read the standard text. No problem there, but I got a bit pearl clutchy about it, in my books people are too busy solving murders to do much fellatio. However I’ve concluded that books are different to tv, you are limited to your imagination but also you control the speed thr information is generated. A sexy or explicit paragraph can be skimmed in seconds rather than on tv where your viewing is directed and skewed to the director’s interpretation.

brilliant you’re having the discussion, I bored DS to death telling him the Hunger Games wasn’t that far from reality using examples of poor and rich areas.

You're right that you can't ban them, and a 14yo exploring how she feels about sex through literature is way better than exploring the topic in real life so count your blessings.

At that age I was reading a lot of Virginia Andrews and getting some really terrible ideas about what sexual relationships were like.

I think you need to seek out and recommend for her books that have a similar level of racy content but with powerful self-confident well-rounded female characters whose internal monologues doesn't centre around gaining male approval

And talk to your DD about how the relationships in those books are unhealthy and would be unfulfilling in real life, and what you would recommend that the characters ought to be doing instead

During lockdown I read lots of YA books, mostly because they were free on kindle unlimited. They had lots of stories of unmarried mother struggling and suddenly finding themselves with a handsome ex navy seal who was also a billionnaire. The story lines were a bit silly but there was a lot of sex and the writing was variable. Fortunately most were short,

I was all over Judy Blume Forever at that age!

I was reading Jackie Collins at that age! They're actually quite good for strong women characters.

When I was about 14 I used to buy those trashy teen magazines that had 'positions of the week' and readers' embarrassing sex stories in them. Me and my friend got them in the newsagent that my mum never went in - the shop owner was a bit creepy - as I was too scared my local newsagent would tell my mum what I was buying. I used to read them then hide them down the back of my sofa bed in my room so my mum wouldn't know. I also remember seeing a story about sex in my mum's (normally quite boring) magazine. I asked if I could read it and she said no, I was a bit too young. I had, of course, already read it before asking. It was the steamiest thing I'd ever read at that point!

@AmyandPhilipfan ah this is where I have to get picky....
Position of the Fortnight was in More magazine. More was technically NOT a teen magazine. It was (according to the publisher) aimed at young women age 19 - 25.
I worked in a newsagent and we were supposed to put it with Cosmopolitan and all that. But it was (not just our shop) frequently put with the teen magazines like Just 17 and Mizz.
So 14 year olds weren't meant to be reading it.
Of course they all were 🤣

OP, in my experience the kids who are reading about this stuff at 14 are much less likely to be the ones who go out and actually do it. Your daughter sounds great and I wouldn't change anything.

I haven't read any of Colleen Hoover's books, but I saw this on my Twitter feed just minutes after clicking on this thread.

Hollywood Wives was my first real introduction to sex at 14! One thing about Jackie, a lot of her female characters were no nonsense ball busters. Gotta love those independent powerful 80s women!

I reckon Shirley heard that story of the Led Zeppelin groupie 😉

Exactly! I was the same. We devoured stuff like Lace and anything Judy Blume with a hint of sex we were devouring that too.

I personally don't think it's too bad but if you do want to go down the confiscation group, don't forget teen girls often borrow from each other and read elsewhere.

At age 14 I was obsessed with mills and boon romances. I do think it gave me a warped view of relationships though, expecting too much of both sex and men (it also left me with the impression that I should cry out my lover’s name during sex, but when I tried that with my first lover he found it very odd 🤣)

Maybe buy or borrow her some “clean teen” aka “sweet” romances? There are loads available, and mills and boon also have a romance range that specifically doesn’t include sex scenes. You can also get some urban fantasy where sexy badass teenage girls fight monsters etc.

Anyway at age 14 I’m afraid it’s normal
for her to be obsessed with boys n sex. In Romeo & Juliet the character of Juliet is 14, and Shakespeare comments “younger than her are happy mothers” - not ideal obvs but I don’t think it’s helpful to deny how horny teenage girls can be, and there’s a reason Shakespeare made his character 14!

I’d supply her with romances that promote healthy relationships and women who expect and get sexual satisfaction, if you don’t she’ll get hold of her own reading material which will probably be worse. At that age my friends and I used to steal “sexy” books from the library then smuggle them back in to return them, because we were too embarrassed to take them to the librarians desk. Read some very inappropriate things that way, including Nancy Friday.

My friend also used to nick porn mags from the 7/11 🤢

So yeah help her get romances.

MASSIVE FISH SPOILER AHEAD

...................

No, SHE did not. An Arab Shiek did, from memory. Was supposedly erotic (you can read that part for yourselves, if you must).

As I said, fish have scales. What happened when he.....?

Sorry, I've spoiled it a little. But still worth a read, trust me!