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Original poster

Do you let your kids swear?

57 replies

virgo234 · 08/10/2022 13:59

Just read an article about a woman on social media saying that she lets her children swear. According to her, "They know when they can swear, how they can swear and who they can swear around" and now it's got me interested in how many other parents share this view.

Personally, I know my kids may swear outside the house with their friends, but they know they are not allowed to swear at home and when talking to me and DH. I have also never dared to swear in front of my parents. I think I see it as a respect thing.

OP posts:
MissAtomicBomb1 · 08/10/2022 16:04

Mentalpiece · 08/10/2022 15:44

No, I never allowed it within my earshot. They weren't brought up in a family that swears.
They're adults now and they still daren't swear in front of me 😂

Same.
DC are 7 and 11 and there's no way they would swear at home. Eldest DC knows all of the words but doesn't use them at home as he knows we wouldn't allow it. Equally I don't swear in front of them though I do swear when I'm with friends or DH. I'm sure DS swears when he's with friends. That's fine, I just don't want to hear those words coming out of my child's mouth.
It's just a respect thing. I would never have dared swear in front of my parents (also a teacher so maybe I'm a bit strict! Wink)

HighlandPony · 08/10/2022 16:05

Mine do. They’re not really allowed to swear at adults but it’s just words. I was always allowed to swear too. It’s just not taboo here.

BeetFeet · 08/10/2022 16:06

I don't think I was ever told not to use swear words. I just knew when was an appropriate time to use them.

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Families
Mombie2016 · 08/10/2022 16:08

I mean, I have teens, and I’d rather they didn’t swear at me (and they never have - so far!), they very rarely swear but when they do it’s in context or repeating what someone else has said.

There are far, far worse words than swear words and if they used them I would hit the roof.

MissingNashville · 08/10/2022 16:10

PhillySub · 08/10/2022 15:18

To me its about respect. If children are brought up to have a wide vocabulary rather than to take a short cut to swearing it can only be good for them in later life. The use of bad language in everyday life is becoming more prevalent surely we can teach our children better standards of behaviour.

My kids are well behaved, respectful and have that wide vocabulary you mention. But when a mean girl at school is bullying one of my daughters best friends about a disability, I think my daughter describing that bully as an ignorant, nasty bitch is fair. Calling her anything less doesn’t really cover it.

Of course if the bitches parents had taught their daughter the better standards of behaviour that you also mention, maybe my daughter wouldn’t need to use those words about their daughter. I can’t fix that though, and I’m certainly not going to have an issue with my child for rightfully describing someone.

Mombie2016 · 08/10/2022 16:16

MissingNashville · 08/10/2022 16:10

My kids are well behaved, respectful and have that wide vocabulary you mention. But when a mean girl at school is bullying one of my daughters best friends about a disability, I think my daughter describing that bully as an ignorant, nasty bitch is fair. Calling her anything less doesn’t really cover it.

Of course if the bitches parents had taught their daughter the better standards of behaviour that you also mention, maybe my daughter wouldn’t need to use those words about their daughter. I can’t fix that though, and I’m certainly not going to have an issue with my child for rightfully describing someone.

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gogohmm · 08/10/2022 16:20

Mine knew when certain language was not appropriate and some words are never appropriate plus there's context, hurting yourself is different to in anger. In addition there was a further set of restrictions called nanna coming Grin.

They weren't allowed and still don't swear at us, never had any issues with this as any sign was nipped in the bud young, but I wouldn't pick them up for expletives stubbing their toes. I very rarely swear so I'm guessing they took their cues from me

Sideorderofchips · 08/10/2022 16:27

Yes my nearly 16 year old does. Never at me or her siblings but in general

It's just words

She doesn't do it in front of other family

slimiscoming · 08/10/2022 17:20

No I don't. I hate swearing. I think it's really unnecessary and I I like my kids to be well mannered and use language that reflects them in a good light. When I hear kids swearing I do it comes across badly. My kids are young and I'm not naïve to the fact they will I'm sure use some words that they wouldn't hear at home when they're older

BeautifulElephant · 08/10/2022 17:24

I let mine swear. I think because my household was so uptight I wanted it to be different. Fart and crap were swear words in my house nevermind actual swear words.

I make sure they understand when it's not appropriate though.

richieric · 08/10/2022 17:26

Yes I do. She's not allowed to swear around other adults or tell me or anyone else things like fuck off etc. But yes she can swear. Like the article you read, she knows what she can say, when and who with.

Mombie2016 · 08/10/2022 18:21

slimiscoming · 08/10/2022 17:20

No I don't. I hate swearing. I think it's really unnecessary and I I like my kids to be well mannered and use language that reflects them in a good light. When I hear kids swearing I do it comes across badly. My kids are young and I'm not naïve to the fact they will I'm sure use some words that they wouldn't hear at home when they're older

I can’t always tell if my teens are saying horrible words or not, the language they use is so different to what it was when I was their age, they could well be saying the most vile insult known to teenagers of 2022 and I wouldn’t have a clue

Maves · 08/10/2022 18:38

Yeah fuck it.

Parmesam · 08/10/2022 18:42

No Fs or Cs but I'm ok with everything else. Thing is, she never swears in front of me. She might do within her friendship group.

Trinity69 · 08/10/2022 18:52

I swear like a sailor so telling my kids not to wouldn't really work. My son also has Tourettes so it would be a thankless task anyway.

Mumski45 · 08/10/2022 18:53

This is one I have had to let go. I would never dare swear around my parents but DH swears a lot so it's impossible to stop them. I have taught them when and where it is appropriate and I have set a boundary that they can swear with us but not 'at' us.

What I found interesting was I caught DS2 (14) stopping himself from swearing in front of me when his friends were around. Ie he didn't want his friends to know he swears around us 🤔

LadyApplejack · 08/10/2022 19:12

Mine are still young, but no. I love a good swear but in my 30s my parents still don't tolerate me swearing in front of them!

OldTinHat · 08/10/2022 19:12

No. Its about respect. My adult DC don't swear in front of me. I don't swear in front of my parents.

But I do remember DS2 aged 3yrs marching across the lawn shouting 'bugger, bugger, bugger...' No idea where he got that from...! May have been when the kitchen shelf collapsed on top of me at a guess...

DSis kids swear like you wouldn't believe, but I don't like it. I personally feel if you need to swear then it needs effect and shock factor. Its rarely heard otherwise, it's a bit boring because it's just a background noise. Swearing should be worthy and notable!

AliceNutter · 08/10/2022 19:21

I've never sworn at my children but will happily use bollocks or fuckwit in my chat to them. Ds now 18 merrily swears in general chatter and dd 14 I don't believe has ever sworn in her life. I honestly don't care. If it's good enough for Shakespeare crack on is my view.

UneFilleDeBelleville · 08/10/2022 19:25

DC are 17 and 15. They might both swear eg if they dropped something. DS occasionally also swears along the lines of “this government is fucking shit".

It’s all fairly recent and infrequent- they didn’t swear at all in my hearing until a year or two ago.

I wouldn’t stand for “fuck off” etc but then I wouldn’t stand for the non-sweary equivalent either.

PrawnofthePatriarchy · 08/10/2022 19:33

We don't swear within the family, though my DC are adult now. When one of us does swear it indicates some emergency or drama.

For example, when I spilt boiling oil on my foot I swore very loudly. My sons were in the kitchen in no time. They told me that that sudden explosion of foul language immediately alerted them to an emergency. Was impressed that my older son knew how to handle shock.

In their early teens we discussed swearing. I said they shouldn't swear in front of their grandparents and they looked at me in astonishment. Of course they wouldn't. I was pleased to discover that they already had a detailed understanding of the etiquette of swearing. They also appreciated the value of being generally courteous, which tends to put people in your favour.

BonesOfWhatYouBelieve · 08/10/2022 19:35

My children are too young but it doesn't really bother me. You can be offensive without swearing, and you can swear without being offensive (in my opinion), so to me it's a rather arbitrary distinction.

MrsPnut · 08/10/2022 19:40

I don’t care about swearing at home but I expect my kids to know when it is appropriate.

Simonjt · 08/10/2022 19:44

Yes and no, we do sometimes swear at home, I haven’t heard my son swear in English, but I imagine he has done, swearing in Urdu or Swedish however is a completely different matter. No one really notices if he swears in those, so it doesn’t bother us, he still knows not to swear at people in a different language as its still rude even if they don’t understand it, obviously as he gets older I know that will go out the window.

Notanotherwindow · 08/10/2022 19:44

I don't make it a battle. It loses shock value if he thinks I don't care. If he hurts himself or breaks something and says shit, I'm not bothered. Tells his sister to fuck off that's a different matter.

You don't swear AT people and I don't want to hear the word fuck every other sentence.

He doesn't really swear much. Months will go by without him swearing.